TMI Questions: April Fool’s Day 2014

The day came and went without much in the way of office humor.  One woman sent out an email that there were ‘Gluten-Free Brownies’ available in the kitchenette.  

Of course, everyone flocked there only to discover a large piece of white paper on which the woman had scrawled a bunch of letter ‘e’s using a brown magic marker.  

No explanation, just the paper.

It took me awhile, but eventually I got it.

TMI QUESTIONS:

Questions designed to reveal Too Much Information

Link: http://tmiquestions.blogspot.com/

TMI Questions: April Fool’s Day 2014

What are your thoughts of April Fool's jokes?

Take it or leave it.  That’s true of pranks on any day. 

Those that love them, good for them.  When they are clever, they hit the mark.  When they are mean, I detest them.

Have you had any memorable, good or bad, April Fools' pranks?

I don’t remember anything for April Fool’s Day, but there are a few pranks I do remember.

There was a rite of passage back when I did Summerstock to pick one of the newbies on the CORE team (we did the sets, the lights, the costumes, as well as acted in the productions) and put them through their paces, which included the washing of the light gels (made of gelatin, they melted in the water) among other things.

One poor girl was told to iron all the costumes on opening night for a production of ‘The Secret Life of Walter Mitty’, which included a couple of tube tops.  Apparently ironing such items melts them and they lose all their elasticity.  The women who were supposed to wear them were horrible, self-involved, gossips and they lit into that girl like you would not believe and would not let it go.  It was like watching the ugly step sisters go after Cinderella.  

That was my third season with that group and that’s when I started to see them for what they were: a bunch of chronic alcoholics - big fish in a tiny pond, immature creeps with an adolescent need for attention and power. 

I came back for a fourth season (big mistake), but was fairly checked-out and horribly depressed throughout that summer. 

Why I didn’t give up theatre after that only serves to show that there is no fool like a young fool who clings to the erroneous belief that one must suffer for their art.

What a maroon.

Do you have a sense of humor?

Yes.  Especially about myself.

What kind?

Self-Aware.  Self-Deprecating.  And dark.  Very, very dark.

I am not sure what helped form that part of my psyche.  None of my siblings possess it. 

If I had to venture a guess, I would say it was probably the product of cringing disappointment, rejection, low self-esteem, and abject failure.  Also, I tend to revel in all the seamier sides of the human condition.

But if you keep tap dancing with a smile plastered on your face, nobody will notice.

How important is a sense of humor in a mate?

Very. 

He has to have one if he’s going to wake up to my face in the morning.

Humor can smooth over a lot of the rough spots that occur in a relationship and critical during a crisis. 

It helps if you’re on the same wavelength.  The moment I hear the words ‘you’re weird’ or ‘you have a strange sense of humor’, I am so out of there.

Just keep me laughing and fuck me occasionally and you’ve got a real shot at me sticking around.

Are you attracted to one type of humor over another?

I like self-deprecating, intellectual humor.  Smart is the new funny.

Political humor amazes me.  I love irony.  I love the debunking of the hypocritical. 

I also love random non sequitur stuff.  And fatalistic humor is the bomb. 

Love edgy, but only if it is smart.

Bawdy stuff is great, too.  But again, needs to be smart.

I hate sexist stuff.  I hate angry stuff.  Sam Kinison was evil and people ate it up.  Turned my stomach.  Andrew ‘Dice’ Clay's whole act was Neanderthal time. I also hate it when angry stuff is passed off as political humor.    

I have a lot of issues with ‘racial’ humor.  So few get it right.  It’s volatile stuff.  But that may just be the ‘frightened white boy’ in me talking.

I have a lot of favorite comedians.  It’s their style of storytelling, their POV, their way of thinking, or their writing that intrigues me. 

Clever gets me every time.

Can being really funny make an ‘unfortunate looking’ person sexy and attractive to you?

Well, as an ‘unfortunate looking’ person (great euphemism, Sean) (wink, wink), I assume I have to be clever and passably entertaining, or I don’t stand a chance in hell with someone.  So I never miss an opportunity to turn a phrase or elicit a laugh. 

It also serves as a great means of establishing whether this is someone I want to see for more than the obligatory 20 minutes.

Unfortunately, this – going for a laugh -  can strike some as off-putting and the whole thing goes south very quickly. 

I think humor is often used as a deflective device, as in, a means to hide the ‘real’ you.  Which stems from poor self-image, poor self-esteem, and the like.

Guilty!

Fart jokes are_______!

The lowest form of humor and, apparently, quite an effective means of making people laugh. 

I never do.  But I get that others find that stuff funny. 

I think writers shove that kind of stuff in there when they don’t have anything else (see ‘Family Guy’).  Fart jokes are to humor what vamping is to music.

Do you embarrass easily?

I used to.

Then I became a bottom.

Once you bottom?  Nothing is embarrassing.

Just ask any bottom.

Do you tend to wear silly t-shirts? Do you have a favorite?

I used to have a big collection, but I honed it down.

My current favorite is the ‘Let’s Nap Motherf*cker’ tee that the boyfriend recently gave me.  I finally washed it, so I can’t wait to wear it.  But where?

And that – the question of ‘Where?’  - is the problem with humorous, inappropriate tee-shirts.  I don’t want to be in someone’s face about something that strikes me as funny.  I also don’t want to needlessly offend or expose children to inappropriate words or images. 

So, I wear them when I am stuck at home or taking a nap.  Or, I don’t wear them at all.

Oh, and those of you who wear lame stuff, but do so ‘ironically’?  Yeah.  Stop that.

Do you make faces or strike a pose when having your picture taken?

Rarely. 

Unless you want to count all those naked pics I used to take to attract dudes on the net. 

Yeah… those kind of poses!

Delusion takes many forms.

Do clowns scare you or make you laugh?

Neither.

Fuck clowns.  I kind of hate them.

Especially those French clowns.  Cirque du so trite. 

I saw one of the first Cirque du productions near the Santa Monica Pier.  It may have been the weird, non-descript music (how do they get it to sound so faceless – so devoid of human spirit?), but I hated it.  Especially those stupid clowns. 

I wanted to take a giant novelty hammer to them.

(Squeak, squeak.)

Bonus

Have you (or your partner) ever laughed during sex?

All the time.  What’s a bunch of naked body parts without a bit of laughter?  Genitals, by design, are hilarious, especially penises.  You can do all sorts of things with them. 

And if there are pubes involved it’s like playing with a Chia pet.

No, but really… penises: they really are the best toy ever. 

Why and what were you and your partner's reactions to the laughing?

So this is the section where I am supposed to say someone farted and I couldn’t help myself… but that is so not the case.

When someone farts in bed you should do the ‘Miss Manners’ thing and pretend it didn’t happen.

Just know that sticking your finger or anything else up there after that happens is probably not a good idea.