BDSM Test: Who Are You? Who? Who?

For a long time, I have noticed and admired people sharing the results of some type of BDSM test in their profiles on various sites: BBRTS, Recon, Grndr and Scruff. I have been wanting to take one of these tests for ages and ended up taking two tests - one at each site: bdsmtest.org and kinktest.org

I found two additional test sites, but declined to participate as they both seemed very heterosexually skewed. One asked questions about my wife/girlfriend, and the other featured a bunch of pics of women in Mistress/Bondage gear. So I shied away from both.

The Tests

These tests are easy to take and don’t take much time. If you do go take them, or have done so, please feel free to share your results in the comments section. I always enjoy reading the results of others in their on-line profiles, so would find yours of interest.

The Results

I don’t know why I waited so long, but here are the results:

Results from bdsmtest.org  

99% Voyeur

98% Exhibitionist

82% Non-monogamist

68% Degradee

60% Primal (Hunter)

59% Switch

58% Experimentalist

53% Submissive

52% Vanilla

51% Slave

50% Ageplayer

49% Rigger

43% Dominant

43% Daddy/Mommy

42% Brat tamer

42% Brat

36% Rope bunny

33% Boy/Girl

31% Primal (Prey)

7% Masochist

1% Pet

1% Degrader

1% Sadist

0% Owner

0% Master/Mistress

Results from https://www.kinktest.org/

100%  Non-monogamist 

98%  Experimentalist 

96%  Voyeur 

94%  Exhibitionist 

86%  Switch 

83%  Cuckold / Cuckqean 

72%  Degradee 

69%  Degrader 

65%  Rigger 

64%  Brat 

60%  Submissive 

58.5%  Brat Tamer 

57%  Primal (Hunter) 

56%  Rope Bunny 

55.5%  Dominant 

48%  Daddy/Mommy 

47%  Masochist 

41%  Sadist 

40%  Girl/Boy 

32%  Owner 

30.5%  Master/Mistress 

30%  Ageplayer 

30%  Swinger 

21%  Vanilla 

18%  Slave 

16%  Primal (Prey) 

15%  Findomme 

9%  Pet 

0%  Pay Pig 

My Reaction

I was disappointed with my showing in the bdsm.org test. It just doesn’t feel like an accurate

portrait of me. I was disappointed by the vagueness of some of the questions and also found some of the questions a tad confusing as they seemed too specific/limiting - like a trap laid.  

The questions at kinktest.org seemed more to my liking. Many were word for word from bdsm.org, but there were additional questions and the test seemed more definitive. That’s just my personal take on it, based on empirical experience. I was also much more comfortable with the results of the kinktest.org test; a better representation of who/what I am. For these reasons, those are the results I am going to examine a bit more closely.

A Breakdown

100%  Non-monogamist 

Totally agree. I am just not traditional relationship material and have known that about myself for a long time, even though I continued to make choices to the contrary. Shame on me for not owning this part of me a long time ago. It could have saved me and many others a lot of emotional pain.

98%  Experimentalist 

Was surprised this was not 100 percent. I am pretty game, though there are limits: no blood, no scat, no excessive pain, no marks/bruises, no drugs (420 and poppers are fine), no cigars, no cigarettes, no generous, no racism, ageism, or sexism, no victimization, and adults pretending to be children just does nothing for me. So, after that litany, I guess we should be surprised it is at 98 percent!

96%  Voyeur 

94%  Exhibitionist 

No surprise, here. I like showing off. I love being watched (even though I am a total introvert). And love observing others.

86%  Switch 

This doesn’t really speak to me at all. Does it mean I can switch back and forth between being dom and subservient? Because that would be true. I value both roles. I enjoy both.

83%  Cuckold / Cuckqean 

I get why this is here. A major fantasy, only realized twice, is to be whored out by a dom top

to other tops. The one situation was in a private setting, there was a great deal of trust built, and I liked the other men involved. The other, I was not into. It was a public setting and I think the dom thought I wanted to be a dog, or something and I was not pleased with most of the men he offered me up to. I finally opted out of the scene when I felt attacked from all sides by about 4 men and the dom did nothing. A couple of the guys were hard bellied (which is not a turn off), but clammy/sweaty and gave off this yeasty smell that I have learned to abhor. Still… this is a major fantasy of mine, though I am now probably too long in the tooth to re-experience it.

72%  Degradee 

69%  Degrader 

This is a tricky area. I can see why I scored as I did, because I only enjoy specific aspects of degrading/degradation. I love language. Dirty names are so much fun, especially the degrading ones. There are limits, of course, but I have always found that words have power. But don’t yell and scream at me. That’s not going to work at all. I will shut down almost immediately.

I also love spit and piss. But have found that I am a better receiver than giver (especially piss - I am horribly pee shy and when hard, my dick can’t decide if it wants to pee or cum, so it definitely will not piss). Spit? Oh, I give as good as I receive, but again, would much rather just receive.

I am surprised Degrader isn’t a much lower percent. But then, I can be very manipulative, so…  

65%  Rigger 

64%  Brat 

Neither speaks to me. Rigger has to do with tying people up? I will play lip service to that activity if that is your thing, but the thought of incapacitating someone and then slapping their dick around… well, I could get into it.

Brat? Feels too obviously manipulative to be fun for long. What can I say? I bore easily.

Subtlety wins every time. That, and clever.

60%  Submissive 

Was surprised this wasn’t much higher. But then, a lot of the questions had to do with giving up 100 percent control and slavery as a lifestyle. That just is never going to happen with me. I could role play the hell out of that for a good three hours, but then playtime is over and we must return from Never-Neverland.

I can be someone’s footstool. But not full-time.

58.5%  Brat Tamer

Meh. Boring. I hate kids. Hate them. That’s why their mindsets, games and props do nothing

for me. Last year at the prairie, a dude told me this elaborate story about getting double-teamed in a ditch by a pair of recently released felons when he was under-aged. I think he thought it would incite some kind of lusty response, but it was a total turn off. 

I did my best to hide it and change the subject, but inside all I could think of was: you were a rape victim, a child. How is this sexy? 

And additionally… oh, that explains why you’re an alcoholic.

When searching for something fun on Pornhub, I cringe whenever I happen on the words Barely-Legal or Under-Age. That shit is creepy.

So, the idea of ‘taming a brat’? Not sexy. My babysitting days are long gone.

57%  Primal (Hunter) 

This applies at the prairie/cruising. I love the imagery of being a spider working my web. Or a prostitute working my corner. But it’s something to fill in the empty hours between tricks. Not a reality.

56%  Rope Bunny 

Zzzzzz. But, okay… I am game and enthusiastic if it gets you off.

55.5%  Dominant 

Even as a bottom, I tend to dominate. You want a lazy bottom that just lays there and makes you do all the work? I can pretend, but that is just not me.

48%  Daddy/Mommy 

Blech. What the hell is this? Is this because I like doing housework? Because I admitted I like being a caregiver? One does not inform the other, dearies.

47%  Masochist 

41%  Sadist

I dunno. Catch me on a good day.

40%  Girl/Boy 

Ick. And… Ick.

32%  Owner 

More ick.

30.5%  Master/Mistress 

Surprised this is not higher. Granted, back in my days of being a hardcore top, this role was played a lot more frequently. I must admit that I have been concentrating on my more submissive side for the past 20 years. So… accurate?

30%  Ageplayer 

Not really. Role play. Temporary role play. Language.

I have warmed up to the term ‘Daddy’. It used to make me cringe, not because of my age,

but because of the whole incest thing. Same with the term ‘Son’, but am much more comfortable with that in a generic sense. Along with the term ‘boy’, except when I am with a black dude… because that feels very racist. I also avoid those who take the power dynamic/relationship implied too seriously because, while psychological games are intriguing, there are paths I will not tread. I don’t care what they say in Georgia… Incest is bad, y’all. Same with Priest-rapists

   

30%  Swinger 

LOL. This is still a term? What kind/size of bat am I swinging?

No, I get it. Unfortunately, I tend to fall in love with people who are not very sexually adventurous or engaged. That’s okay… relationships can be built on other foundations.

21%  Vanilla 

18%  Slave

16%  Primal (Prey) 

15%  Findomme 

9%  Pet 

0%  Pay Pig

None of these speak to me… so not surprised.

I do not like commerce mixed with sex. I am not generous in a financial sense and resent it when those younger think that is how men of a certain age fulfill their sexual needs. I am not paying your rent, shithead. Get a job.

At the same time, I think sex workers absolutely have a right to ply their trade. But don’t be deceptive about it. Don’t waste other people’s time presenting yourself as something you are not. And stop using hook-up sites like Grndr and Adam4Adam to find clients. That is not what most of the guys on there are looking for. (And the ones that are? Well, you kind of deserve one another.)

I am surprised that Pig or Piggy is not a category. Because I identify with that. I can get pretty piggy wit it.

You know what I don’t get? The popularity of pet play. Those guys on Grndr in full pup play regalia, including puppy face mask/head? Wow. That is commitment on a scale I have only seen on Recon. Good for them. They found something that speaks to them. However, I will never be one that orders them to ‘speak’.

Disclaimer

So, this was fun. I got to suss out a bit of my personal likes and dislikes. And that is all that they are: My personal likes/dislikes. I don’t judge. Sometimes I fail to understand or comprehend, but I am more than willing to be educated. I certainly would never put anyone down for their kink. So, if it seems I have been disparaging about a given subject, take it with a grain of salt. I try to have a sense of humor about sex, you should, too. That said, please realize that if it is illegal than I am not going be its cheerleader. My moral compass leans to the more obliging side of life, but there are some things that are just a hard stop in my world view.

Seems odd that I would need to spell that out, but better I do that than someone get upset over something I have written.

Sex is fun, hons!

Go have some.

(But wait until we get the all clear from the virus police).