Friday Fun: Strapped and Trapped

Friday Fun: Strapped and Trapped

One can’t help but stare.

It’s the way the straps frame his sweet ass.  Pretty as a picture.

But then he turns around to reveal that magnificent rounded pouch and you…

…are completely blown away.

Your mouth literally waters. 

It’s so perfect.  Like a delicious peach.  It’s all you can do not to reach out and give it a squeeze.

But you can’t.

You’re at the gym.

And you don’t even know this man.

Yet.

But you know how to change that.

You stand still.  Waiting. 

Finally, he senses you and his eyes meet yours.

And that closes the deal.

Yep… this dude?

He’s strapped and trapped.

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Wishing you a great weekend

from uptonking at Wonderland Burlesque

  

  

Of Note: A Couple of Head Scratchers

Of Note: 

A Couple of Head Scratchers

Every once in a while a pop song will come along that immediately captures my attention, making it a must have.  The hook is undeniable, or the vocals dead on, or the production shines and is of its time – something about it makes me jump on board like a circuit boy at a gay pride parade. 

That’s why, when said single fails to catch fire, is ignored by radio and lacks significant sales – it leaves me wondering WTF?  It also has me questioning my taste in music. 

Such is the case with today’s selection of singles that failed to break big.

Sledgehammer

Fifth Harmony

I was rather lukewarm about Fifth Harmony’s first single, ‘BO$$’ and sort of wrote them off as yet another reality show girl group with little staying power.  However, my assessment has since changed, solely based on the outrageous pop chops on display in ‘Sledgehammer’. 

The first time I heard this song, it was blasting from the radio as I was scraping snow off my car.  Oddly enough, it was the lyrics that caught my attention.  It sounded like something from 1994.  Yes, I came for the lyrics, but I stayed for the production and performance. It has wiggled its way into my brain, where it has stayed for several months.  I love this song.  So why did it only peak for a single week at #40 on Billboard’s Hot 100?  It should have been massive.

Stuck On A Feeling

Prince Royce feat. Snoop Dogg

Prince (the purple one) / Marvin Gaye retreads have been hitting the pop charts a lot lately.  So, if Robin Thicke can score with ‘Blurred Lines’, and Jason Derulo can hit with ‘Talk Dirty’, then why has there been no love for Prince Royce’s ‘Stuck On A Feeling’.  A song that has the same subtle rhythmic pulse that made Justin Timberlake’s ‘Cry Me A River’ break huge?  Not even the presence of Snoop Dogg can make me turn away – I like the song so much, I actually find his rap rather charming. 

So what is it?  Played out?  Too much of an undercurrent?  What?

Dangerous

David Guetta feat. Sam Martin

Not a fan of Guetta.  Typically, I find his lyrics horribly forced and simplistic, his production rather rote and lacking personality.  That is NOT true of ‘Dangerous’ – a true pop gem that sparkles and pops with an urgency that I find super stimulating.  Yet, while spending weeks in the lower half of the Hot 100 and getting a bit of airplay, it has yet to crack the Top 40 – a situation that has me scratching my head. 

Is it me?

Burnin’ Up

Jessie J feat. 2 Chainz

If ‘Bang Bang’ worked for pop radio, then why not Jessie J’s follow-up, ‘Burnin’ Up’?  This track sizzles.  In my head, I keep picturing the pedal step that propels her across the stage during the breathy little breaks.  Super sexy.  And she is.

So what gives?  This is an artist that deserves to break much bigger than she has, yet Jessie solo can’t seem to catch a break. 

Well, there they are, in all their slick, gleaming potential.  So, please leave a comment if you agree or disagree.  Is it me?  Am I out of step with the times?  I find each of these songs exhilarating – not original, by any means, but a whole lot of fun.

So, what gives? 

Friday Not-So Fun: Sandblasting Wonderland

Friday Not-So Fun: Sandblasting Wonderland

So, this is the spot where typically I write some suggestive text accompanied by a bounty of hot, sexy pics.

But not today.

Due to Google’s new policy prohibiting pornographic images, I have decided to forgo my usual fun and spend the next few weeks scrubbing Wonderland Burlesque up by removing such content.

I do so, under duress and with a great deal of uncertainty. 

You see, I find Google’s new policy to be rather vague.  This is a poorly considered, badly written piece of policy work which leaves this blogger with all sorts of questions.

Example: Let’s say I do remove all I consider pornographic?  Does this apply to images only, or will my text be scrutinized and demeaned unsuitable?  Does this rule apply to sex acts and erect penises only, or does it apply to all penises?  Is side butt allowed?  Is the image of two naked men embracing or kissing with only side butt showing and no penises in sight allowed?  What about jock straps or erections or penises whose outlines are clearly visible, but are, in fact, concealed by some type of covering? 

Well, you get the idea.  It’s a slippery slope.

They also issue this policy, but say nothing about the mature classification itself.  Is that going away?  Do I have to make my blog family friendly?  Or am I allowed to discuss and share adult oriented material that does not cross the line into pornography?

Umm… where IS that line, exactly?

And, again, this brings into question whether the text that I have shared will be allowed (some of my stuff… well, a lot of my stuff is rather, ummm… explicit). 

Am I wasting my time here?  I’ve already scrubbed up my past 76 posts.  Gotten rid of all those nasty penises, dripping erections, etc.  I have been moving in that direction anyway due to the rules over at google+ and because I just haven’t been feeling quite so hyper-sexual these days (something that happens when you find someone who truly makes you happy).

 But, again… am I wasting my time?  Is the hammer going to come down no matter what I do?

I have written the good people at Google, asking some of the above questions, but I doubt I will receive an answer because – WE NEVER DO.

I have written to them numerous times asking what is wrong with the whole manage my blogs thing (I really would like to unfollow some folks). 

 - BREAKING NEWS -

There is a possibility that Google has had a change of heart.  I need to read that email, but, according to my bud whkattk, Google has received a ton of feedback and will now drop the new policies and, instead, rigorously enforce their current policy.

Their current policy?  Ummm, also rather vague, if I remember.  But I will give it a read. 

So, ummm… as Emily Litella used to say…

“Never mind.”

Update:  I just checked my email and have no such notification from google.  So?  Not sure.

Of Note: ‘Outerspaceship’ by Raheem DeVaughn

Of Note: 

‘Outerspaceship’ 

by 

Raheem DeVaughn

Sigh.

Some men have it all going on… and Raheem? 

Sigh.

Nothing melts my heart like some old school, quiet fire R&B.

A 2008 Grammy Nominee, Raheem DeVaughn has been around since 2005 and he simply keeps getting better. 

It was easy to miss this one.  ‘Outerspaceship’ was released as part of an EP featuring various artists, called ‘Home’; most of which I can live without, but this track is the exception. The music is as sensual and comforting as the title is off-putting and misleading.  Give it a listen and you will see what I mean.

Sigh...