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Thursday, June 29, 2023

Wonderland Burlesque's Let's Go To The Movies: All That Is Gay Edition- Part 1 of 6

Wonderland Burlesque's 
Let's Go To The Movies: 
All That Is Gay Edition- Part 1 of 6

Well, as I am like to do, this month is Gay Pride Month - and I had planned to do these posts to honor that celebration - but due to timing, and the previous series of posts running long, it's now the last week of the month and I'm just getting started on this. Oh, well... it's not like gay pride is only for a month. No, it's a lifelong thing. So, let's keep celebrating!

This week Hollywood goes all gay with a decidedly female perspective. Yes, most of these films are gay in name only, but... isn't it it the thought that counts?

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The Gay Bride
(1934)

A real gangster happens to be the producer of the show in which a beautiful actress is appearing. She marries him even though she can't stand the man, knowing that in his line of work he may not be around for long. She's right. Amidst the comedy, love and death ensues.


Based on the novel Repeal by Charles Francis Coe,  which was originally serialized in the Saturday Evening Post, this gangster/screwball comedy was directed by Jack Conway and stars Carole Lombard and Chester Morris.  


This was originally a vehicle for Jean Harlow and Clark Gable. Other actors considered for the male lead were Lyle Talbot, Ricardo Cortez, Russell Hardie, and Richard Arlen. Una Merkel and Isabel Jewell were considered for the role played by ZaSu Pitts.


This was one of Lombard's least favorite of her films. Chester Morris also felt that the movie was a "turkey." It's all the fault of the newly enforced Production Code, which scrubbed the script beyond recognition, and dulled its comedy. Had it been filmed nine months earlier, it would have been a completely different film.


Carole Lombard

The enchanting Carole Lombard made a name for herself playing  energetic, often off-beat women in screwball comedies. She began her film career at the age of 12, and it almost came to an end when, at the age of 19, a shattered windshield resulted in a scar on her face. She overcame it, appearing in a dozen Mack Sennett comedies. Her first marriage, to actor William Powell, improved her profile in Hollywood, though their union ended amicably after only two years. She then starred in a string of screwball comedies - receiving an Oscar nomination for best actress for her work in My Man Godfrey. Her marriage to Clark Gable gave her career an additional boost, and for a time. As part of Hollywood's first super-couple, she became obsessed with winning an Oscar. However, her career was cut short when she died at the age of 33 aboard TWA Flight 3, which crashed on Mount Potosi, Nevada, while returning from a war bond tour.


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It Was A Gay Ballnight
(1939)
AKA: The Life And Loves Of Tchaikovsky, It Was a Lovely Night At The Ball

(In 1865, a wealthy woman goes to a ball in Moscow where she runs into Tchaikovsky, her first and only love. Now married to a wealthy industrialist she does not love, the woman has never gotten over Piotr Illich, whose musical genius remains undiscovered. Though she is married and he is engaged to a dancer, their feelings for one another are instantly rekindled. Unable to leave her husband, she decides to secretly financially sponsor the young composer - a fact Tchaikovsky will only learn of many years later. When life conspires to set the woman free, she seeks out the composer - but it is too late, for Tchaikovsky is dying of cholera and she only has time to close his eyes.)


(This German historical drama was directed by Carl Froelich and stars Zarah Leander, Aribert Wäscher and Hans Stüwe.)


 (Leander's character is very loosely based on Nadeschda Filaretowna von Meck, a friend of Tchaikovsky who was never his romantic partner. Throughout his career, she provided financial support. In  kind, Tchaikovsky wrote music for her. She would die a few months after Tchaikovsky in January 1894.)


(Even though Tchaikovsky's homosexuality is a matter of historical record, this film portrays him caught up in a love triangle with two women.)

(The film was a box office hit when first released in Germany, but banned due to its positive portrayal of Russia and Russian culture once Hitler invaded the Soviet Union in 1941.)

Zarah Leander

(Leander was often questioned about her years in Nazi Germany. Though she would willingly talk about her past, she strongly rejected allegations of having sympathy for the Nazi regime. She claimed that her position as a German film actress had merely been that of an entertainer working to please an enthusiastic audience during a difficult time.)

Zarah Leander

(However, in an interview recorded shortly before his death in 1996, the senior Soviet intelligence officer Pavel Sudoplatov claimed that Leander had in fact been a Soviet agent with the codename 'Stina-Rose'. Recruited by the Soviet Union before the outbreak of war, she was said to have refused payment for her work because she was a secret member of the Swedish Communist Party and therefore conducted the work for political reasons. Leander staunchly denied this allegation.)

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The Gay Sisters
(1942)

 (After their mother dies on the Lusitania and their father is killed in France, three sisters must manage their Fifth Avenue mansion by themselves. One marries a man in order to get an inheritance, and when he begins a campaign to obtain the mansion to level it for real-estate development; she and her sisters fight him tooth and nail.)



(Based on a novel by Stephen Longstreet, this drama was directed by Irving Rapper, and stars Barbara Stanwyck, George Brent, Geraldine Fitzgerald, Donald Crisp, Gig Young and Nancy Coleman.)


(When Warner Bros bought the film rights to the novel for $35K, it was intended as a vehicle for Bette Davis. Mary Astor was considered for the role of Evelyn, one of the sisters, but Davis objected, feeling Astor, who subsequently assigned to The Maltese Falcon, too old for the part. Davis, who was tired of playing hard, bitter women - qualities she felt were too similar to her role in The Little Foxes -  sent a memo to Jack L. Warner, saying, "I do wish you'd give 'The Gay Sisters' to someone else." She got her wish and was eventually replaced by Barbara Stanwyck.)


(Katharine Hepburn was offered the film, but declined. Then Irene Dunne and MGM's Norma Shearer were under consideration for the lead before Stanwyck was given the role. Nancy Coleman replaced Olivia de Havilland as one of the sisters when de Havilland was put on technical suspension so she could take a vacation.)


(Similarities between the film and the real Vanderbilt family were noted by both critics and the audience, as were similarities between the film's 'Barclay Square Project'  and New York's Rockefeller Center.)


(A sequel was planned, reuniting Stanwyck, Coleman and Fitzgerald, but never made.)


(Actor Byron Barr took his film character's name, 'Gig Young', as his new screen name. In initial releases of the film, Young was billed as Byron Barr, his actual name.)

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The Gay Senorita
(1945)

(A property developer is hoping to turn the Mexican section of a California town into a factory site. But love intrudes on his plans when he falls for The Gay Senorita, who causes him to abort his plans, thus saving the Latin American community and their homes.)


(This comedy-drama was directed by Arthur Dreifuss and stars Jinx Falkenburg, Jim Bannon, and Steve Cochran.)


Jinx Falkenburg

(Jinx Falkenburg was a hugely successful model during the first part of her career. While on a photo shoot, she fell through a balcony, landing 30 feet later on top of a table. While recuperating in the hospital, she met fellow patient Al Jolson, who offered her a role in his upcoming Broadway show. Her bit was small, but effective - with fans lining up outside her dressing room after the show every night. She then did a dozen films for Columbia films, mostly B-movies.)

(She married journalist and publicist Tex McCrary in 1945. Known as "Tex and Jinx", the couple pioneered and popularized the talk show format, first on radio and then in the early days of television. They hosted a series of interview shows in the late 1940s and early 1950s that combined celebrity chit-chat with discussions of important topics of the day.)

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The Gay Lady
(1949)
AKA: Trottie True

(A Gay-'90s British music-hall performer has her sights set on moving from rags to riches. She loses her heart to a an honest, kind-hearted balloonist, but continues her upward drive to improve her social status. She settles for Lord Landon Digby who has lots of assets and a very stiff upper lip. She gets a lot of the latter and very little of the former, and decides that her first love. the balloonist, might have been the better choice.)


(Based on a novel by Caryl Brahms and S.J. Simon, this British musical comedy was directed by Brian Desmond Hurst and stars Jean Kent, James Donald and Hugh Sinclair.)


(Jean Kent called this her "favorite film. And Harry Waxman was a marvelous cameraman. They weren't good with the music, though. I had a battle about that. We were scheduled to start and I hadn't heard a word about the music, so I rang up whoever was the head of Two Cities. I finally managed to get half the music done and then I had another argument about the first number. It dissolves from the brown-eyed young Trottie to the hazel-eyed big Trotttie, which was hysterical. They wanted me to sing something in schottische. I said, 'It's a very nice number but I come from the music halls and I tell you you cannot use a schottische at this point.' So he changed it to 6/8 time.")


(Kent said she had to prevent the filmmakers from cutting away from her singing, "which they used to be very fond of, in British films. The whole point of somebody singing the song is for the audience in the cinema, not the people in the movie. So I had to devise ways to keep moving all the time so they couldn't get the scissors in, particularly during the Marie Lloyd number in the ballroom scene after I'd become the duchess.")


 


Jean Kent

(In 1931,Kent started her theatrical career at the age of ten as a dancer. She was eventually signed to Gainsborough Pictures during the Second World War, where she appeared in the lead roles other actresses wouldn't play. "There was a pecking order at Gainsborough. First Margaret (Lockwood), then Pat (Roc) , then Phyllis (Calvert), then me. I was the odds-and-sods girl. I used to mop up the parts that other people didn't want." She made her mark with the movie going public by playing sexually aggressive young woman. At one point, she was the 8th most popular movie actress in the UK.)

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And that's all for now.

Tune in next week...

Same time, same channel.

When I Take My Morning Promenade - Jean Kent
from the motion picture The Gay Lady

Wednesday, June 28, 2023

Who Did It Better? Same Old Tears On A New Background

Who Did It Better?
Same Old Tears On A New Background

Some song resonate and haunt, serving to underscore like a soundtrack for key moments in our lives. That's the power of music. And for today's Who Did It Better?, we take a look at such a song; no, it was never a hit, in the typical sense, but it is beautiful and well-written and a worthy entry in the American songbook. 

Same Old Tears On A New Background is a song written by Stephen Bishop. 

Bishop's big break came when friend, singer Leah Kunkel (Cass Elliot's sister, guitarist Russ Kunkel's wife, and backup singer for Art Garfunkel) gave Art Garfunkel a demo tape of Bishop's. Garfunkel like what he heard, choosing two of  the songs - Looking for the Right One and The Same Old Tears on a New Background - to record.

Same Old Tears On A New Background first appeared on Art Garfunkel's Breakaway album which was released on  October 14, 1975 First release. Produced by Richard Perry (The Pointer Sisters, Carly Simon, Ringo Starr, etc.), the album spun off three Top 40 hits and peaked at #7 on Billboard's album chart. In the UK, Same Old Tears On A New Background was used as the B-side for his single I Believe (When I Fall In Love It Will Be Forever.

Due to Garfunkel's patronage, Bishop was able to secure a recording contract, signing with ABC Records in 1976. Bishop's first album, Careless, was released in October of 1976. Featuring guest appearances by Eric Clapton, Art Garfunkel and Chaka Khan, the album spun off two Top 40 hits, while peaking at #34 on Billboard's album chart.  The album included his own take on The Same Old Tears on a New Background.

Fast forward a couple of centuries...

Rumer, a Pakistan-born British singer/songwriter who has received the support of industry heavyweights such as Burt Bacharach, Elton John, Carly Simon, and Jools Holland, achieved fame in the UK upon the release of her debut album, Seasons Of My Soul. Released in 2010, the album peaked at #3 in the UK and was certified platinum, having sold over one million copies. In addition, she was nominated for two Brit awards.

The bulk of her follow-up album Boys Don't Cry was recorded before or at the same time as her debut. Unfortunately, just as they were finalizing the project in time to meet an imposed deadline, Rumer and her producer Steve Brown had a falling out. Shaken, Rumer decided to push on, enlisting the help of various musicians to complete the album 

Boys Don't Cry was released on May 28, 2012. An album consisting of songs by male artists and writers from the 70's and 80's, it included a version of Same Old Tears On A New Background and was meant to mirror the solace and anguish Rumer had experienced since achieving success and fame.

And that's the whole story.

Now? On to the competition!

The Song: Same Old Tears On A New Background
The Competitors: Garfunkel vs. Bishop vs. Rumer
 
Same Old Tears On A New Background - Art Garfunkel

Same Old Tears On A New Background - Stephen Bishop

Same Old Tears On A New Background - Rumer

Art Garfunkel

This intro reminds me of something from the 1930's or '40's. The piano is point on, the production pristine and Garfunkel handily plays with the syncopation, pushing and pulling against the beat. His work here is as 
intriguing as it is subtle.

We then melt into a bed of strings. This is producer Richard Perry at his finest. He's keeping everything in check, even the percussion and allowing Garfunkel to carry this melancholy journey. "...keeps me hanging on." - suspended in time. A perfect ending to a lovely phrase. Garfunkel is in great voice and exercising such careful control. 

As we go into the C-section... I think the horns are a bridge too far, but by then we are in full-cinematic mode; this is over-the-top stuff and not everyone's cup of tea. I also don't know if I agree with the multi-layering of Garfunkel's voice. Yes, it's atmospheric and keeps him on top of what is now a very tall bed of sound, but, again, it's too much. His emotional reading alone would have carried this with a single voice - I don't think we need a battalion of Garfunkel's to bring the emotional point of this, the apex of the composition, home. 

As the strings scream into what quickly succumbs to a void, it brings to mind the power of Barber's Adagio For Strings - an incredibly dramatic musical moment giving way to a very polite resolve.

And then, we find ourselves back at the beginning, with Garfunkel standing on a corner beneath a streetlight gazing at his shoes. 

A hush and then... into a familiar bed of strings, this time accompanied by a backing vocal not belonging to Garfunkel. The arrangement gets a bit treacly and the mix a little muddy as Garfunkel heads off into falsetto heaven. His voice is melded to a woodwind and then it's wave after wave of musical intricacies. A bit ham-fisted, actually. I like my arrangements much cleaner, much simpler. But Perry is going for the most romantically lush sound he can come up with which leads us back to a sort of cinematic splendor - not my cup of tea always, and, in this case, I find it almost suffocating. 

Once he pulls things back for a second time, we have the push and pull of the strings and I like it much better. I remember that when I listened to this as a child, I delighted in all the drama. My ears and tastes are much more seasoned and while I understand the modern crooner - think Nat King Cole - atmosphere which Perry and Garfunkel hoped to create and did, in fact, accomplish here, I no longer appreciate as much as I once did. 

Love the fade. 

Stephen Bishop

Strangely untuneful acoustic guitar intro, brief. I don't fine Bishop's vocals to be all that different than Garfunkel's - but it's the execution which differentiates. Bishop has no interest in creating dramatic phrases; his breath control is a matter of 'why no grab a breath.' This actually ends up giving the song an interesting texture, a sort of halting syncopation. His breathiness overall brings an immediacy to the proceedings. If Garfunkel was wrapped up in a cinematic swirl, Bishop is telling a tale of heartache as simply as possible. It's a sincere read.

Vocally, they biggest difference between the two is the ability to open a note. That's Garfunkel's bread and butter, and Bishop cant seem to be bothered, at least not on this number. He's keeping things very close to his chest and in the process creating a bit of a hood on his sound. 

His C-section is as straightforward as everything he's delivered previously, with the exception of that marvelous falsetto ending. Thing is, as we return the next verse, this could come off as a bit plodding, if it weren't for the finesse of the interplay between the sparse guitar and his vocals. It's a lovely marriage which keeps things light and airy enough for this to float.

At the 2:17 mark things get... well, let's put it this way, if I was producing this, we'd be doing another take starting right there. Oh, and the vocals simply tank. His falsetto is sketchy and pitchy. Well, that's too bad, because there really isn't any more to his version. He brings his version in at 2:40 because it's all meat and potatoes, no fluffy side stuff. Garfunkel and Perry, it should be noted, managed to inflate this to 3:52, over a minute longer!

This is something that has never changed for me, really: I have always been a fan of efficient music. 

Rumer

Moody, with a bit of dissonance, setting the stage for a bit of dramatic tension. 

Huh. I like her overall tone. But she doesn't seem interested in reaching for much. What do I mean by that? Well, listen to "a fading photograph." It feels a bit leaden. She has a lovely, rich natural tone. Why cheat us? And then... and - if it's for dramatic effect it fails, she cuts up the phrase "it hurts to much to laugh these days" - breaking on "these days"? No. Doesn't make musical sense. 

Then again, her 'all rights' are lovely. Very comforting. I keep thinking of Diana Krall for some reason. The difference there... Krall would never chop up phrases this way. Phrasing is an art form - it makes or breaks a singer. Now... here's the rub; I might be too old-fashioned to appreciate this. Modern pop singers? They don't play by the same musical rules. Rules are made to be broken, sure... but for a reason - not out of disregard or *gasp* laziness. Or ignorance.

Still. She has a lovely tone... the kind that haunts. She's been compared to Karen Carpenter - but I don't hear it, much. Richard Carpenter actually wrote her a lovely note after hearing Rumer's debut album and it would be interesting having her work with someone as disciplined as Carpenter. I think he'd call her out on some of her slovenly ways. That said - she has worked with Burt Bacharach, so - who knows. Maybe I'm being a bit of a fuddy-duddy. 

I don't think a great deal of the arrangement. It's fine. Supportive. Doesn't get in the way. Has an interesting tone to it, sort of a 1970's sepia tint to it. 

"Remembering..." - weirdly pitched. And I don't care for the harmony. Oh, dear. This goes off the rails a bit in the C-section. A bit too plodding for my taste and overly-mournful. 

"Still in love with you..." - such a lovely, thrown-away ache to that. 

"I'm all right..." - sorry, dear, but I don't believe you. 

I bet if I heard this in the context of the rest of the album I would just be enthralled, melting into a pile of mush. I'm such an old cow when it comes to sentimentality. 

As Noel Coward once wrote: "It's extraordinary how potent cheap music is."

The Verdict

I think this is a well-written song. Very moving. 

And I have issues with all three versions. 

I'm a firm believer in less is more. Garfunkel's version is... simply too much.

Garfunkel and Perry shoot for the moon with their version, gussying this up like the big screen production it was never meant to be. My pre-adolescent self still loves it, especially when listened to in the context of the rest of the album, which is Garfunkel's apex as an interpreter of song. His voice is magic and he wields it so wisely. I wish producer Perry had allowed that to be his guiding principal, rather than trying to create a modern crooner album, for the mistakes here are all Perry's doing. It's an overly ambitious arrangement which pumps up the drama more than necessary.

Bishop, as the song's writer, trusts the song enough to keep things barebone simple. Although, I also suppose he didn't want to even try to compete with the bombast of Garfunkel's version. And Bishop had me... right up until the 2:17 mark, when he commits some rather unforgivable vocal sins. His was a sincere reading up until then. I wish he'd gone out erring on the side of simplicity and merely allowed that to resonate. 

And Rumer. Oh, dear. She has a lovely tone. She's horribly undisciplined. Her musical instincts are as incredibly and effectively sharp as they are unformed. Her voice haunts. It's unique and also warm and round. Not much of a vocal range on display here, though. And her phrasing or disregard of such is puzzling. 

Both Rumer's and Bishop's versions sound almost like demos, rather than finished pieces of work. 

In the end I must choose, and so it will be... Bishop. I don't like that hood on his voice. I despise what he does with the ending, but... for two minutes and seventeen seconds... he had it. He held it. It was as small and precious as the first lesion discovered on the surface of a newly broken heart. 

The song is his, his tale to tell. So, this is his win.

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And that's enough of me.

Okay, your turn. You know what to do: leave your thought and choice in comments section.

That's all for now. Until next time...

Thanks for reading... and listening!

Same Old Tears On A New Background - Stephen Bishop

Tuesday, June 27, 2023

The Labyrinth of Blue Towers: The Disappearance of Jack Arneson - Chapter 24

  

 The Labyrinth of Blue Towers:

The Disappearance of Jack Arneson

(A Sewing Box Mystery)


Chapter 1: Friday, June 10, 2011, 7:21 pm

Chapter 2: Saturday, June 11, 2011, 8:38 am

Chapter 3: Thursday, June 28, 1984, 10:10 am








Chapter 11: Thursday, June 16, 2011, 4:14 pm

Chapter 12: Saturday, June 18, 2011, 8:00 am

Chapter 13: Saturday, June 18, 2011, 9:45 am

Chapter 14: Saturday, June 18, 2011, 10:32 am

Chapter 15: Saturday, June 18, 2011, 10:51 am



Chapter 20: Saturday. June 18. 2011, 6:10 pm



Chapter 24: Sunday, June 19, 2011, 1:52 am

Adam must have talked to Kathleen; he'd used the phrase ‘scavenger hunt’, as had Peter. Maybe Adam and Kathleen had talked about the list before Adam arrived at The Sleep Inn. Exactly how deep in Kathleen’s pocket was he? In any event, Missy was now glad she hadn’t confided in him more

Jeanette had insisted that they brew a quick pot of coffee in the hotel room before heading out. Fortunately, it hadn’t taken much time and Missy was glad she’d waited, for the hot liquid felt good on her throat. It stood in sharp contrast to the cool night air which greeted them on the way to the car. The sky was stark and clear, but there looked to be no moon.

Even though they were in a hurry, Missy had made a point of taking time to dig through the trunk of her car, searching for the emergency kit Grandma Jean had given her. At the time she’d thought the gift was a waste of money, but tonight she was extremely grateful because the kit included a flashlight complete with a pair of giant D-sized batteries. Loading the bulky batteries and switching it on, Missy breathed a sigh of relief. The batteries were still good and the flashlight worked. Thank you. Grandma Jean.

Sitting in the passenger seat, Jeanette appeared lost in her own world. Staring straight ahead, the handles of her giant purse clutched tightly in her hands as it sat on her lap, Missy's aunt finally broke her silence. “What do you think she wants to show us?”

Missy had no answer, so didn't say anything. The fatigue of the day had now settled on the top of her brow and it seemed to be all she could do to keep the wheel steady. Navigating the road out to the Monastery had been a lot easier during daylight. Moving forward through the night there was something eerie about how close to the road the trees were, as if the the silent, leafy sentinels were crowding in, intent on engulfing them. It felt almost threatening and made Missy uneasy.

As they approached the entrance drive to the Monastery, the car’s headlights fell upon a black Lexus SUV parked off to the side of the road. Missy assumed that this was Kathleen’s vehicle and pulled in behind it. As her car idled. Missy took a few deep breaths before turning the key in the ignition, cutting the engine, and extinguishing all light.

It was now pitch-black, save for the glow of the distant security lights that shone about the corners of the Monastery. In the silence. Missy thought she could actually hear her heart beating. A moment passed.

The driver’s door of the SUV opened and closed carefully. Someone had stepped out and was fast approaching Missy’s car. She rolled down the window and Kathleen’s head appeared in the opening. “I thought it best that we park out here, on the road, so as to not wake the Brothers. Come with me. I know a secret way in.”

Taking another deep breath Missy looked over to her aunt. Though shadowed in darkness,. Missy thought she caught a look of fear on Jeanette’s face. If so, it would be the first time her aunt had shown any trepidation the entire trip. Without a word exchanged, the women exited their vehicle, careful to close their doors without making much sound.

Once out of the car, Kathleen was at Missy’s side immediately. “This way,” she jerked her head. As she strode away, Missy noted that the lithe woman was completely dressed in form-fitting black. Neither she nor Jeanette had given any thought as to what they were wearing, save for the fact that they both wanted to remain warm. Missy hoped their lack of foresight wouldn’t cause problems for them later on.

Missy immediately turned on the flashlight, its circular light illuminating the gravel beneath her feet. Kathleen was on her in a flash. “No, no, no.” She tried to wrestle the beacon from Missy’s hand. “Shut it off! Shut it off! They’ll see you.” Missy turned away and shut the flashlight off. Spinning back around, she came face to face with Kathleen, who stood hand on hips. “Give it to me. I think I’d better be in control of that.”

Missy didn’t like that idea at all. “That’s okay. I I think I’ll hang on to it. I promise to keep it turned off.”

Kathleen spun on her heel and strode off toward the driveway that led to the Monastery. Missy and Jeanette scurried after her.

The stealthy trio made their way to the north side of the building and soon found themselves in the middle of one of the gardens. Winding their way through carefully trimmed hedges, they came upon an ivy-covered arbor. It opened upon a life-sized statue, a robed, bearded man with a knot of hair on his forehead. Lit from below, his right hand pointed skyward, while his left held three keys; one quite a bit smaller and less ornate than the other two. Kathleen approached the statue and removed the smaller of the keys. “This is St. Peter He was commissioned by my father and is the keeper of the keys to the kingdom of heaven. This, however,” she added, brandishing the key “is definitely not one of them. What it opens falls far from heaven.”

The statue was very nice. Beautiful, even, but Missy didn’t see the point. “Is this what you wanted to show us?”

A small, tight smile formed on Kathleen’s face. “Oh, no, I have something much more, pertinent to share with you.” As the woman moved behind the statue, Missy and Jeanette looked at each other, shrugged, and followed.

In the corner of the garden, running along one side of the Monastery wall, was a sunken stairwell. The three clamored down the steps. Kathleen inserted the key into the ancient door at the bottom and pushed hard on the heavy metal door. Before entering, she turned to Missy “This used to be the old coal chute. A certain, clever groundskeeper transformed it into a secret way in.” She smiled. “Why don’t you give me the flashlight, and I’ll lead the way.” Missy supposed it was the only way. Reluctantly, she handed it over. Kathleen flipped it on and headed inside.

In the entryway, Missy paused for a moment, that is, until she felt a slight push from behind. It was her aunt’s giant purse. “Move it,” came the order from behind. Missy threw her aunt a quick glare and ducked inside.

Kathleen was already several yards ahead of them, pushing boxes and various items out of their way. They were in the basement of the old bakery. Missy recognized it because of the many boxes and it’s cobblestone floor, but also because of the set of steps that stood to their immediate left, at the top of which stood the heavy blonde door they had used in their earlier escape with Peter. Its copper knob led to the interior of the church, though Missy was pretty sure it was probably locked. Peter had opened it with a key, if she remembered correctly.

“Are you coming?”

The voice was Kathleen's and she sounded slightly annoyed. Missy snapped back to the moment, apologized, and followed Kathleen, who seemed to know exactly where she was going. The determined woman made a beeline through another doorway which took the trio into another clutter-choked room with a workbench. Kathleen went to the left of the bench and got on her knees. She was struggling with something. In the dark of the room, it was hard to make out just what. “Dammit,” she said. She then turned about. “Here! One of you, hold the flashlight while I undo this stupid lock.” Jeanette moved forward, took the torch and held it so the beam fell just beyond Kathleen’s right shoulder. Missy closed in and peered over her aunt’s left shoulder; it looked like Kathleen was busy trying to remove some kind of padlock from a long, wooden box. The woman was incensed. “This shouldn’t be here. Who the hell put a lock on this fucking thing?” Kathleen grabbed the lock with both hands and tried ripping the latch from the wood, but it would not budge.

“What are you trying to do?” asked Jeanette

“None of your business. Just... just hand me a hammer or a crowbar or something. There...” she pointed. “Above the tool bench. Hurry.” Jeanette turned the beam of light toward the bench and both Missy and Jeanette moved in its direction. Jeanette scanned the top of the bench with the light. The beam caught something: a glint of bright blue Missy moved towards it. Her nostrils were assaulted by the smell of stale, old nicotine. It was a glass ashtray; a blue glass triangular-shaped ashtray, overflowing with cigarette butts. “Look!” she hissed. But it was too late, Jeanette had already moved the light to the peg board on the wall above the bench. Various tools hung on shiny metal hooks, their outlines clearly denoted in bright yellow paint, the same way Grandpa Tom used to organize his tools. Saws, pliers, wrenches of various sizes... and then the light landed on the empty outline of what appeared to be a mallet of some kind. The missing mallet! Jeanette froze. Both women stared at the spot for a moment, its importance quickly sinking in.

“What’s taking you so long?” It was Kathleen. She was getting impatient Missy felt a wave of anxiety sweep over her. It reminded her of the many times her mother, already in a foul mood, would send her into another room to fetch the ‘whatyoumacallit’ or some other vaguely named item. Once in the room. Missy would have no idea what she was supposed to find, but fearing Dorie’s sharp tongue, couldn’t bring herself to ask for clarification. Dorie would grow impatient and scream at her to hurry up, before coming into the room and locating the item herself, her accusatory eyes burning into Missy’s fearful ones. But this wasn’t Dorie. This was Kathleen.

Missy grabbed the flashlight from Jeanette. She trained the light back onto the ashtray. Picking it up, she ran her fingers along the edge until she came upon a rather large chip on one of the three points. Returning the ashtray where she’d found it, her eyes then fell upon a crumpled cigarette pack. Jeanette saw it, too and moved in, smoothed out the pack and held it up for Missy to see. Frontier. The brand was Frontier. Missy was now overcome with a powerful sense of deja vu. She turned her attention to where she’d found the crushed pack, and saw a book of matches. Picking them up, she closed the cover and saw the familiar logo of the two fat monks stuffing bread in their mouths. Brother’s Bread matches!

At that very moment, Kathleen was upon them. She yanked a crowbar from the wall above the bench with such force that it caused Missy and Jeanette to jump back with a gasp. Kathleen glared at them “I guess if I need something, I’ll just have to get it myself.” With an angry jut of her chin, she pointed the crowbar in the direction of the long wooden box “Shine the light over there so I can see what I’m doing . Please!” she snarled

With part of her brain still stunned by the revelations sitting on the workbench, Missy’s other half couldn’t help but notice that Kathleen’s reaction was exactly like life with Dorie. A beat of stillness passed. Kathleen then pointed the crowbar towards Missy’s right hand and it was then that she realized she was still holding the flashlight. She quickly regrouped her thoughts and moved to illuminate the area Kathleen had requested. Now it was Jeanette who stood behind her, peering over her shoulder in order to see.

Kathleen wasted no time separating the metal latch from wood. She sure was strong for such a frail looking woman. With the first crunch of metal and wood, Missy cringed a little, wishing Kathleen had taken a bit more time and therefore also kept things a bit quieter. The last thing they needed was for someone to hear them - better that they get to the bottom of this once and for all. Kathleen flung open the wooden box. Doing so, Missy, for the first time realized that the box was the size and shape of a cheap coffin. Training the light on the contents of the box, Missy caught sight of a bare foot. Recoiling in fear, both she and Jeanette began to scramble into the dark simultaneously. Kathleen stood and rasped at them, “Where do you think you’re going? Get back here. It’s a statue! A statue!”

Missy and Jeanette froze in place. Feeling ridiculous. Missy inched her way back to the wooden box. Shining the light in its direction, they watched as Kathleen lifted the flap of an army blanket, revealing what was indeed a statue - one identical to the statue of St. Peter which Kathleen had shown them moments earlier. With the aid of the light, Kathleen stooped next to the box, reached in, and removed a different key from the set of three sculpted saint held in his left hand. The woman stood, turning around to face Missy and Jeanette and held out her free hand. “Okay I’ll take it from here.”

Missy dutifully handed her the flashlight and Kathleen pushed past them and the workbench. Missy was about to follow, when she felt a tug on her arm. It was Jeanette “Missy I want to leave. Now.”

Hearing this, Kathleen swung about, shining the light in their direction, blinding the pair. Now merely a black outline behind the source of light, she said, “No, you don’t. Trust me. You don’t want to leave yet. You haven’t seen it all. This way.” With that Kathleen turned around and began walking away.

Under her breath, Missy said to her aunt quickly, “Don’t worry. It’ll be all right. Come on.” Missy took off in the direction that Kathleen had disappeared. After a beat, Jeanette sighed and followed behind, clutching her giant purse to her chest like a shield.

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Next week: Chapter 25

I'm Gonna Follow You - Pat Benatar

Monday, June 26, 2023

Acquired Tastes XLIII: Gay Pulp Fiction, Part 153 - Adam's Gay Readers, Part 10 of 10

Acquired Tastes XLIII:
Gay Pulp Fiction, Part 153
Adam's Gay Readers: Part 10 of 10

This week we continue our ten-part series of posts dedicated to Adam's Gay Reader's.

Adam's Gay Reader's were released under the Surey Books banner, and published from 1983-1991. Whether this imprint is related to other Surrey publications remains to be seen.

The books were distributed by Star Distributors, which operated out of a P.O. Box (P.O. Box 36) at the Canal Street Station in New York City, NY.

A total of 155 titles were published, all featuring distinctively soft, but gay-erotic illustrations, all in a watercolor-like style.

Described by The Book Merchant Jenkins as:

"One of the many gay erotic pulp novels produced in the mid to late 20th century. These short sexually explicit stories, many of which were formulaic and published in easily recognizable series with graphically illustrated covers and titillating titles each targeting a specific sexual niche, demonstrate the breadth of sexual fantasy, occupation, desire, and deviance of the emerging homosexual culture."

And... so far, that's all I have learned about this imprint. If you have any info, leave it in the comments section or contact me via blogger.

This week: I found 12 out of 18 covers!

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My Favorite Freshman
Author: Derek Olson
 1991 
AGR-239

According to a note on Hommi Publishing's Big Gay List this one is about college jocks who reminisce.

I take it these dudes are at a ski lodge. Never had the pleasure, and I doubt very much that I ever will. That lifestyle? For someone else. Though I do remember the ski culture in the late 1960's to mid 1970's. It was very 'ski bunny' centered and went hand in hand with Hugh Hefner's cocktail crowd. It all seemed very chic to me and while I have had the pleasure of going downhill skiing (and took to it like a duck to water) - I never developed the desire to hang out in a ski lodge by a roasting fire. Even when I see that these days in films it still does not interest me. Though... you put a man in a some thermal underwear or a union suit and... suddenly I am SO THERE.

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Ty’s Alaskan Adventure
Author: Herman Hutznuckle
 1991 
AGR-240 

Remember Ty? The boy who had all those 'first' loves? Well, according to Hommi Publishing's Big Ass List this one is about a college boy who finds a new lover. So it seems Ty has 'graduated'. I take it they found a hot spring... in Alaska? You don't say. It makes me wonder if the illustrator read the book and decided this is the scene for the cover or if one of the editors dictated what it was to be. In any event, made it easy on the illustrator... all he had to draw was a couple of Ken doll heads with perfect coifs!

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Author: Carl Enders
Summer Separation
 1991 
AGR-241

According to a note on Hommi Publishing's Big Gay List this one is about best friends after high school graduation.

Oh, my... look at the big booty on Ms. Thing in the pink track suit. I'm sure her milkshake brings all the boys to the yard - that is, if they can get over the fact he's wearing a pink track suit. Blondie there sure doesn't seem to mind. It would appear he has his mind on only one thing... and isn't that the purpose of these books?

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Bedtime Stories
Author: Adrian LeChance
 1991 
AGR-242

Oh, no! It appears our preppy little wonderkin just got caught by someone he knows coming out of an adult boutique. And, as if that's not embarrassing enough, what is that in his clutches? Why that would be baby's first dildo! Why his friend is in a yellow rain slicker when it appears to not be raining? Well... what happens in those private viewing booths stays in those private viewing booths. We hope.

Please note: this is a 'Mixed Guys Book'!

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Twixt Teens & Twenties
Author: Lee Ryder
 1991 
AGR-243

Twinks? Not my thing. I tolerate them. Will blow them if they wish. Will ride them like The Lone Ranger, if they request. But conversations with them - other than role play talk - leave me wanting. That's why I'd rather pat them on their heads and send them on their way. They are cute. And they are for someone else... not me. They have all the content of an etch a sketch taken out of it's package. Far be it from me to leave so much as a smudge on it. Come to think of it, conversations with them are a bit like staring at a blank screen, too.

Ah, my favorite author, Mr. Lee Ryder!

Lee Ryder

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Study Buddies
Author: Derek Olson
 1991 
AGR-244 

According to a note on Hommi Publishing's Big Gay List this one is about an economics student who is attracted to the guys he tutors.

I'm currently reading Arnie Kantrowitz's memoir, Under The Rainbow. It's all about growing up gay in the pre-stonewall era. He's an entertaining writer and it's a great read. You can get a copy via St. Martin's Press - it's part of their Stonewall Inn Classics collection. In it, he recalls a study session with one of his school chums which really got down to basics. The only math they got done was '69'. And then his mother just had to come home early and ruin it all.

Me? I was too naïve to ever have such an encounter. So, Mr. Kantrowitz's stories sort of confirm a lot of what I thought might be going on - for others. It sure would help to explain the popularity of a certain, very vain, former high school friend of mine. No jock, he... yet, that's whose 'company' he kept - and I always wondered why!

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Men of the Wildwest
Author: Adrian LeChance
1991
AGR-245

Well, shades of my favorite vintage 1970's gay porno, Gold Rush Boys. Yes, a cowboy's down time is actually his 'up' time, if you know what I mean. Bathing in the company of other men... manly men! Why that city slicker sure seems to know where the actions at... I bet he just came by train. With any luck? He'll be pulling one before the night is through!

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The Big Boys
 1991 
AGR-246

According to a note on Hommi Publishing's Big Gay List this one is about professional football.

The NFL bores the ever loving fuck out of me. I don't like anything about it... except the uniforms - particularly how those football pants (that's their actual name - I looked it up) hug their muscular buttocks. The only other aspect I'm interested in is what goes on in the locker room - and, sadly, they don't televise all that.

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Lambs at Play
Author: Lee Ryder
 1991 
AGR-247

I may not have found this one's cover, but at least I found another photo of my favorite author!

Lee Ryder

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 First Term
Author: Peter A. Neus
 1991 
AGR-248

According to a note on Hommi Publishing's Big Gay List this one is about a college student who discovers himself.

Another cover missing in action. But what a great pen name!

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 Baskets
Author: Mark Andrews
 1991 
AGR-249

Odd title given the illustration. I mean, I get it... they probably both have nice baskets. But this would appear to be about a college student working his way through college as a janitor at the library. As I've shared in the past, libraries are - apparently - great places to get you some action. Now, I'm not sure what Mr. Clean there is suggesting with that vacuum cleaner nozzle - but if that kid in the skin tight jeans is smart enough to get into college, then he probably has sense enough to know that an industrial vacuum is NOT a sex toy.

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Tennis Ace
Author: Jodie Bishop
 1991 
AGR-250

According to a note on Hommi Publishing's Big Gay List this one is about college jocks.

Are you ready? Given my less than picturesque childhood - we actually played tennis. Yes. We had racquets and everything. Cheap racquets, but... they did the trick. Why? Given our limited financial circumstances did we play tennis? Because it was free! They high school did not have a team, but they did have a tennis court. I was never very good at it, but I did enjoy it. 

These days? I'd be lucky to lob one over the net... it's been so long. Still, it's a sport and a culture which I have some understanding. And I remember in the 'haties' how all the preppies played tennis. You'd think that would have taken all the fun out of it, but... hey, they had to do something besides wear polo shirts and take up space.

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Tropical Heat
Author: Max Martin
 1991 
AGR-251

Yes! Give me the heat. And those damn cut-off denim shorts. So very hot... and dirty. How I love working up a sweat in the heat of summer wearing as little as possible. It's the closest my life comes to being the set up for a classic bit of gay porn. You add to that the actual possibility of getting some work done which improves the exterior of a house? And I am so beside myself I can smell me.

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Truck Stop Cafe
Author: Paul J. Simon
 1991 
AGR-252

Aww, that cute ginger is making some dough by washing windows down at the local truck stop. Who knew there was a standard uniform? He's wearing the same outfit my Alan doll wore the day I took him out of the box - so more beach than blacktop parking lot minded. Not that it matters. That outfit sure seems to have caught the attention of one suspender wearing trucker. Looks like our flame-headed boy will soon be busy doing something other than washing windows - which was probably his plan all along.

 
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Balmy Breezes Blow
Author: Ward Michaels
 1991 
AGR-253

I was disappointed when I couldn't come up with covers for any of the final books for this imprint. But then I realized, the imprint was at its end of life when they came out, so it's not like there were a lot of copies out there to purchase. When an imprint dies, typically they don't continue to produce copies of a given title. So it stands to reason that these four are probably quite rare and difficult to find.

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Cutting Room Floor
Author: J.J. Sieman
1991
AGR-254

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Erect-a-Zone
Author: Ed Kroch
 1991 
AGR-255 Adam-2

I'm not sure what the significance of 'Adam-2' and 'Adam-1' are. Something they were trying, I guess.

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1-900-College
Author: Lee Ryder
 1991 
AGR-256 Adam-1

Well, at lease we end with a title by my favorite author.
 
Lee Ryder


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And that's it for Adam's Gay Readers.

Next week we'll start on a different imprint, featuring another bounty of beautiful covers.

Until then...

Thanks for reading!

Bedtime Story - Madonna