Happy Pride 2013!
TMI QUESTIONS:
Questions designed to reveal Too
Much Information
Tell me about your first Pride.
1998. Fairly unmemorable. I was working for a non-profit at the time
and did a shift at our booth. Afterwards
I walked around with my boss to take in the sights. I had my baby boy with me, Beau, a six-month
old Chihuahua that I had recently rescued from in front of a Menards. He was adorable and seemed to attract a lot
of attention. I remember being amazed by
all the leather dudes and the granola types with their outlandish hair and
piercings. My own freek flag had yet to
unveil, so I was a bit taken aback. We
only stayed a couple of hours. It was
really only memorable because of Beau.
And my boss. She was a sweet
woman whom I have lost touch with.
The fair itself seemed smaller back then and more open, more
grassroots, less commercialized.
What did that first Pride mean
to you?
Honestly? That I was alive and
free and open. It was my first time back
in the cities since I totally came out – as in, at work, with my family,
etc. I had just recovered from a rather
serious illness at the time and was getting my life back together. Discovering all sorts of things. I remember Madonna’s ‘Ray of Light’ CD being
a big influence in my life at the time.
It was the beginning of my obsession with dance/club music. Everything felt different, but in a good way
– like my skin had become newly re-sensitized.
Because the life I had built in L.A. had been so devastated by my
illness, prompting my return to Minneapolis, I was concentrating on
appreciating little things: dog ownership, playing in the park across the
street of my apartment, buying furniture, meeting people. The internet, and, in particular the sites
that promoted gay men meeting one another, were new in my life. I was going on actual dates with people;
coffee, movies, dinner. It was very
refreshing being so honest about who I was and where I was coming from. I just remember being extremely
grateful. For the opportunity to live
my life openly. I was frightened, but
energized, intrigued, and… happy.
How many different Prides have
you been to?
Only three. Duluth, Minneapolis,
and Madison, WI. I blogged about all
three. They were very different experiences, but
fun. I have never seen the Minneapolis
Parade, except for those clips they share on the news. Missed the Duluth Parade. I did sit through the Madison, WI. Parade
(three times!). I’m not much of a
parade goer. But I like visiting other
places for pride. It really makes me
grateful that I live where I live.
Do you fly the Pride Flag and/or
stick it to anything?
No, I don’t feel the need to. I
am my own flag, albeit a much more subtle version, but I get the message out
there. People know what I’m about and
what I stand for. I hide very little of myself – except for that which is NSFW.
Do you still celebrate Pride?
What does it mean to you now?
I do celebrate a little. It’s
more fun with a friend. I have a friend
from St. Paul. He drags me to all sorts
of things and was the reason I went to Duluth and Madison for Pride. Madison was a gas, even though he sort of
cramped my style. I enjoy being from
out-of-town and viewed as ‘fresh meat’.
What does Pride mean? Now, it
means acceptance. It means
responsibility, too. I worry about the
younger generations not learning about or appreciating what the generations of
gays had to go through so they can kiss and carry on in public. It’s that struggle that is rather lost on
them, as they tend to think that it’s all a given – this newfound acceptance
gay people are recently experiencing. I
know they see the discrimination still being experienced around the world, if they
are politically/globally aware at all.
Pride is also an opportunity for us as a community to acknowledge just
how far we have come.
Does Pride need improving? If
so, what changes would you make?
Same old complaint… the media’s coverage could be more… balanced. I get tired of seeing the circuit boys, club
kids, and drag queens being the only groups represented on the evening news.
I understand that the commercialization that’s taken place over the
past fifteen years is a sign of growth and acceptance: businesses now want to
be a part of Gay Pride – which is amazing to me. But it makes me uncomfortable when Sam’s Club
– a part of the Walmart Corporation – is part of something they do not support. So I have mixed feelings about seeing them
and other companies that are less than ‘okay with gay’ hawking their wares,
giving out stuff, and promoting themselves on the back of something they do not
politically or socially support in a more meaningful way.
And not to be ‘that guy’, but there seems to be an awful lot of focus
on alcohol consumption and the bar scene.
I wish it was more about community building/creating a higher profile,
activism, and political and historical awareness. But, hey, it is a party and some people need
to blow off steam or get smashed in order to dance their asses off, I get
that. I have never viewed Pride as a
vehicle for that type of behavior, but it’s a big world… to each their
own. I guess that’s why I always leave
early.
How do you give back?
I volunteer my time and give money to appropriate charities. I educate people at work, those that will
listen. I am active in my LGBT
organization at work. I man booths at
the Pride Fair – usually as related to where I am working. All three of my employers during past sixteen
years have had booths at Pride. That is
pretty amazing. I also have a friend
that has a small home business. I help
him set-up and break down after the event, and man his booth as needed (so he
gets bathroom breaks and something to eat).
I don’t get involved with the actual organization that puts on Pride,
because it is no different than any organization – there is lots of drama,
people feel entitled, people feel threatened, and people tend to be protective
of their turf. I don’t have the energy
or patience to battle institutionalized stasis/lethargy/bullshit any more. And I guess, you could add that to the
things that I would change about the event.
I think there should be more new blood, than old. But then, that is me, speaking from a very
uninvolved distance.
Bonus
One year at DC Pride (it was a
morning parade then), my friend called me to say he'd be late because he still
hadn't been home. I told him to come (I knew what he was wearing) because if he
didn't he'd miss the parade. About two minutes after joining me a Drag Queen on
a float yelled to him, "HONEY, IF HE WAS HOT, YOU AIN'T GOT NO SHAME IN
THAT WALK!" My friend eventually forgave me. What kind of trouble or
embarrassing moment have you had during Pride?
I hate meeting exes at Pride. It
makes me so uncomfortable. Also tricks
whose names I don’t know/can’t remember.
This usually happens when I’m manning a booth, so it’s not like I can
walk away. When they stand around and
attempt to make small talk and ‘catch up’ I just die inside. Typically, I am polite and smile a lot,
without volunteering a lot of information about myself (which is typical of me
all the time). This is because what I
really want is for them to move on. That
said, I would much rather have them stay and talk to me than for them to see me
and then look the other way. That
happens too. And that kind of pisses me
off. We’re supposed to be this
brotherhood, right? So get over your
fucking self.
But the absolute worst? Seeing a
trick with his partner! There is that
sideways eye thing that always happens and it cracks me the hell up. Usually they’re embarrassed because I (used
to) make a point of asking whether someone has a partner or not. Being caught in an obvious lie and watching
someone squirm a bit? Priceless.
Bonus Bonus
What musical acts you have seen
live at various Prides?
Favorites include:
Kelly Rowland
Expose’
Kristine W. (twice)
Kat DeLuna
Jessica Sutta
A link to 2013 Twin Cities Gay
Pride Info: https://www.tcpride.org/
Happy Pride Everbody! Be Safe.
Enjoy.
7 comments:
What a great post!!!!! And I still go to Prides, but not every year. When I was in the throws of drag I went a lot since their were certain obligations with clubs. But they have got more commercial I agree. There was a whole different feeling when it was more grass roots. And I did meet some wonderful people and one festival when I first came out gave me my first three way!
Great post! Interesting -we share some of the same perspectives on Pride!
I did a piece on this last year, prior to a rendezvous with my brother and his partner for our first Pride! experience together... San Diego 2012.
http://www.skilled4men.com/2012/05/pride-20-augmenting-objective.html
I plan to attend Orlando Pride! in the Fall. It's great that they coordinate their event with the cooler temps.
Loved the info. Thanks.
Hugs
Ray
Haven't attended Pride in two years... It's really gone way down hill in our city; not sure why. But I used to man booths, walk around and support other companies. I still monetarily support various LGBT organizations when I can afford it.
"I am my own flag ..." Nice, very nice!
'Pride' isn't much of a much up here in my town, which is affectionately known as "Burlap". Nor is there much of what I would call a Gay Community except for the fact that everybody has fked everybody at least once.
I almost choked on my coffee reading the part on meeting Exes at these events. It would be almost a 100% certainty here in Burlap and there's nobody I'd care to run into again.
Side note- So very touched by your kind words and concern. I speared myself for the first time yesterday. It wasn't nearly as bad as I had anticipated and the results were not too short of remarkable.
Hugz to you UK, you are quite the MENSCH
Happy Pride/June/Summer Solstice! :)
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