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Friday, May 30, 2014

TMI Questions – Classic Edition: Would You Rather…


TMI Questions – Classic Edition: 
Would You Rather…

Hmmm.  I feel the need, so I went back and found myself one of Sean’s old posts – from Tuesday, July 17, 2012, to be exact.  So get ready for a Classic Edition of TMI Questions.

We all day dream about the choices we would make if we could; especially when it comes to altering our past. But sometimes it’s fun to explore the choices we would never in a million years have a say in.

There are so many things I would like to have control over and change, but ultimately that would be robbing life of doing what life does.  As I’ve matured, I’ve managed to recognize that which I have no control over and accept it.  Trust me; filling our lives with that kind of delusion isn’t helping anybody.  Much better to let life do its thing. 

Sure, we can influence it, but ultimately… life is in control, and the sooner we respect that, the happier we will be.

TMI QUESTIONS:
Questions designed to reveal Too Much Information

Link: http://tmiquestions.blogspot.com/

TMI Questions: Would You Rather…

Have eyes that always smile or a voice that makes people calm?

I would choose the voice.  I dislike mine, very much, and would love to have the kind of purr that John Malkovich is able to summon, or Patrick Stewart, or Jeremy Irons, or Hugh Laurie. 

I don’t know if others find those type of creepy / sophisticated tones comforting, but I do, and it seems to be the sort of thing that creates a sustainable career, something I had hoped for back in the day.

I would like to think that I have that ability – to purr in that manner, but I’m afraid my vocal cords are too damaged and therefore my instrument too unreliable.  My voice simply exhausts so much easier these days.  And with all my sinus issues, it’s so nasal, so ugly.  It’s why I have given up singing in public and one of the reasons I’ve turned my back on the theatre.

I recently had the horrible experience of sitting down and watching a taped performance of my last foray in the theatre.  My boyfriend wanted to see it.  I sat and cringed the whole time, as it was the first time I had sat through it.  My voice, my choices… ugh.  I hated everything about my performance.  The only thing I had going for me was I was loud and energetic and kept things moving toward the end. 

That last thing?  Moving the show toward the end?  Yeah, that was probably the only thing the audience appreciated about my performance, too.

Have an affair and your partner catches you or he has an affair and you catch him?

I’d rather catch the boyfriend. 

At this point, I can’t imagine having an affair or a relationship with someone else.  I mean, that could happen… I don’t know what the future holds.  The boyfriend could decide that we’re not what he had in mind, or something, sending me packing.

But for me, this is it.  I don’t see myself going anywhere or wanting anything more. 

That certainly was not the case in the past.  But that was all about sex and exploration, as I avoided any and all emotional attachment in those situations. 

If the boyfriend cheated on me – and I don’t have any reason to think that he would – I would be hurt, but, perhaps, not very surprised.  I mean, men are men… we simply crave things that aren’t ours and we always wonder what we might be missing.  Also, for some, sex is merely a physical act, which is something I more than understand.  But that is also maybe a lie we tell ourselves because we don’t want to risk more.

I think it’s a lie I told myself. 

I thought I was above it: emotional attachment.  I thought I could exist quite happily keeping everything casual, fun and temporary.  But now that I’m on this side of things, I must confess, that horribly romantic, and dare I say, emotionally needy adolescent still lives inside me – and requires sustenance and care.

Now, the adult in me can keep him in his place, and the adult me can analyze and rationalize and explain away and accept the behavior of others – something the adult in me has to do in order to protect that rather damaged adolescent.  But that adolescent still yearns for all the things that a young heart yearns for, and it has been rather cruel of me to starve him all these years.

 It’s a strange relationship – but at some point, and maybe this is true for all of us – at some point I had to become my own parent.  And part of being a good parent is making sure the child has all his basic needs met and that includes his emotional needs.

Which is why, I suspect, I would be rather forgiving if the boyfriend did cheat on me.

You have to be understanding when it comes to the behavior of another person’s child.  As a parent, the only thing you can be responsible for and have a modicum of control over is your own child.  

I’m now trying to be a good parent.  I think we all should. 

Better parenting yields happier children.

Have better sex or more money?

Oh, better sex, please.  I mean, the sex I am having is great, but I love those ‘over the moon’ moments – you know, the kind of swoon one can achieve without a bottle of poppers shoved under your nostril. 

Money?  Eh.  I see how much value people place on it and I simply can’t relate.  I am unimpressed by wealth, or flash, or bling, or artifice.  It’s boring.  Anybody can have that stuff.  It’s just crap – future landfill.  It means nothing and to thirst and strive for money so you can have supposed power or acquire things?  What an empty melon of a world that person lives in.  How sad.

I feel bad for celebrities who are so far removed from being actual flesh and blood people.  Their values are shite.  They live such wasted lives.  Their lives are nothing but a distraction. And sorry to go there, but when I think of that stupid wedding that Kanye West and that prostitute of his laid out for the world to sort of witness…  that’s not love.  That whole thing is so devoid of any human emotion – human kind should be ashamed that we hold value in such nonsense. 

I certainly don’t wish them ill, but I do wish that life would remind them of what it is to be human.  What a waste of a life.

Which is also what I think of the pursuit of money and fame these days: what a waste of a life.

Be able to read everyone's mind all the time or always know the future?

Read minds, of course.

In a way, I believe I already can.  I’m super intuitive and empathetic when it comes to the human condition.  It’s very rare that someone’s overall motivation remains a secret to me.  I suss it out, like a detective.   

One of my strengths as a director and acting coach was my ability to understand what makes people tic.  At times, that felt very manipulative on my part, and I think that is one of the reasons I stopped directing.  Any actor worth working with has a bit of, well; I’ll term it ‘damage’.  And sometimes opening Pandora’s Box turned out to be a matter where the ends didn’t justify the means. 

But even in business, I have the ability to see all sides of an issue and take in account their personalities and personal motivations.  Then I play devil’s advocate, in an effort to get everyone on the same page.  It’s a painful way to work with people… I mean, sometimes you simply want to (and need to) put your foot down or be horribly blunt. 

But I find people generally like it much better when they come to see a certain point of view on their own – you know, with a little help.

As for knowing the future.  Ugh.  That would take all the fun out of everything, wouldn’t it?  Unless you could alter the future.  But that would prove to be not a great deal of fun either.  It would be like cheating life.

As Baby James once sang: “The secret of life is enjoying the passage of time.”

Your partner has sex with someone else or falls in love with someone else?

Have sex. Sex is just sex.  Save the love for me!

Bonus
What one thing, big or small, would you change in your life if granted one wish by a lamp-bound genie?

That’s a hard question. If I changed anything, I would want to change a lot of things.

So, I think I will keep everything as is, because I don’t know how my story ends yet.

And I really feel the need to find out what happens. 

Me?  I’m hoping for something good!


Have a great weekend!















1 comment:

whkattk said...

I can only think of one thing I could've done differently - and would if I had the chance. Other than that, of the things I had control over, I think I made fine choices.

I let my inner child see the outside quite often. That child is happy and healthy and smiling and laughing.