TMI Questions: Make Mine A Double!

I’m not sure when I ceased to be an amateur drinker.  I think it is simply something that comes with age.  I’ve become incredibly discerning about my alcohol – not a snob, by any means, but choosy none the less. 

That’s not a bad thing. Too many people drink far too much.  It’s never attractive, and is always unhealthy and dangerous. 

These days, I rarely drink in a bar, and very rarely in a gay bar.  That is something that belongs to the past.  

Though I have promised myself that, when travelling, to make a point to check out the local scene – as a tourist, and not for the reasons I used to frequent such establishments.

But I do still so love a good stiff one! 

TMI QUESTIONS:

Questions designed to reveal Too Much Information

Link: http://tmiquestions.blogspot.com/

TMI Questions: Make Mine A Double!

Do you have a favorite alcoholic drink?

Yes.  Gin.  Here’s how I currently like it:

• Three ice cubes in a martini glass
• Add gin – the more the merrier, but sometimes less is best
• Add vermouth – some say to be stingy, but I like a nice splash
• Fill to the brim with LaCroix Peach-Pear Sparkling Water
• Take a sip
• Keep adding more LaCroix and, if needed, more gin
• Do not repeat – turns out, one is enough

For the past six months this has been my drink of choice.  The brand of gin has varied, but I am currently in love with good old regular Bombay (non-Sapphire).

The boyfriend and I have come to enjoy drinking at his place, where we get to eat, watch movies or British sitcoms, or play board or video games. 

I used to consume no more than two alcoholic beverages in a month.  That has now become 8-10 per month – only on the weekends, and never more than one a day/evening.  Friday and Saturday nights are perfect.

I literally find myself working my way each week to that moment on Friday, when I get to pop those cubes in my martini glass and feel all the anxiety produced over the week melt away.  I never drink until I’m stupid, but, hey… I earn my tiny buzz by Friday night.

What kind of wine do you prefer?

I have run the gamut and I find wine fads rather fascinating.  I think wine has had a lot to do with creating the global economy here in the United States.  The U.S. has a history of being rather myopic in scope and the foodies sort of educated our citizens by exposing them to wines from different parts of the world.

I used to drink only reds, and I adored anything from Chile.  Merlots, Cabernets, Shiraz’s… those were my cups of tea. I loved their rich earthy fruitiness and musky sense of decay. 

But then I started getting headaches and learned about tannins and sulfites.

Good-bye red wine. 

It also stained my teeth, so I don’t miss that at all.

Instead, I tried my best to suck up the white stuff – oh, and I do mean wine. 

Sauvignon blancs and Chablis typically capture my attention.  I like them light and fruity. 

I avoid anything sweet or perfume-like. 

I rarely drink wine without food, so finding the right combo becomes important.  Sadly, I’ve found that most waiters don’t know anything about wine, so for me it is all a guessing game.  Since I no longer eat red meat, the whites are usually a good choice. 

Oh, but I do have memories of a deep, rich, funky merlot and a nice juicy steak. 

Makes my mouth water.

Do you have a favorite beer?

Don’t drink beer.  Causes bloat and a belly.

I will have one if I must, or that is all that is offered, but typically I will decline and ask for water. 

When I did drink beer I enjoyed Leinenkugel's Honey Weiss, which, I am sure is looked down upon by micro brew snobs.

I do like tasting micro brews.  I find their creation fascinating and am always surprised by the various tastes.  The biggest surprise?  How frequently the brew tastes nothing like it was advertised.  

  

Can you taste the difference between vodkas?

I don’t drink vodka. 

But if they are anything like the various gins, then, yes, one can definitely tell the difference.

I love Boodles Gin for the clean, pure taste. I drink it as a traditional martini, up, olives, side of ice.  Best martini ever?  Boodles Gin with flower water.  Heaven.

I love Hendricks because there is a hint of cucumber in there.

I love plain Bombay because it complements the LaCroix Sparkling water, I’m currently infatuated with.

Plymouth, Tanqueray, and Beefeaters are all passable fare.

I despise Bombay Sapphire because the ten botanical ingredients they use (almond, lemon peel, liquorice, juniper berries, orris root, angelica, coriander, cassia, cubeb, and grains of paradise) conspire to create a flavor that my tongue and throat are opposed to and I can’t even tell you exactly why that is.  I simply find it repellent.

There are gins that I will buy on occasion that are cheap and taste like they could remove rust from a car.  They serve a purpose: it is the equivalent of slapping on some Aqua Velva immediately after a hard shave; painful, bracing and serving as a wakeup call to your senses – Amsterdam (the gin) springs to mind.  

The cheapest?  Seagram’s Extra Dry.  And you know what?  It ain’t half bad.

But back to vodka… why do they insist on infusing them with all sorts of stupid flavors?  Carmel Apple?  Cotton Candy?  Vanilla Cherry Chocolate Mousse?  I mean, who the hell are these things marketed to?  Rank amateurs, that’s who. 

If you want to get your drink on, then put on your big boy pants, belly up to the bar, and order something real, for chrissakes.   

Booze should taste like booze, angel tits.

Are you a top shelf or rail kinda person?

Depends on where I am, who I’m with, and what I’m doing.

Cruising a bar alone?  Rail.   And typically, I will drink it mixed with tonic water, to slow my level of inebriation so I keep my wits about me.  

Fine dining with friends?  I’m going to name my brand, have a traditional, straight-up martini, and limit myself to one.

A weekend with family?  Oh, god, just put something/anything in my glass already and put me out of my misery.

What was your most memorable (good, bad or embarrassing) drinking experience?

Boozed up sex is the worst sex.  It may start out all warm and mushy, but it ends up just being embarrassing and awkward.

When I first came out and thought bars were the only way to meet someone, I drank quite a bit, mainly because I never seemed to find anyone to fuck until last call.  There were mornings where I would wake up next to someone declaring their love for me and I would curse my stupid, stupid dick and mother alcohol for getting me involved with yet another psycho stalker. 

There were also those mornings when, whatever it was I thought I was going to bed with, turned out to be something else entirely the next morning.  As in, what the fuck was I thinking?  Of course, I had horrible self-esteem in those days, so I would suck it up and figure it was all that I was worthy of.

Oh, yeah, and I got into a fist fight at a wedding reception and got banned for life from a very, very swanky hotel in downtown Minneapolis.  Drinking may have been at fault, but... 

...the asshole got what he deserved.

The bride and groom has never spoken to me since.

Bonus

Have you ever drunk dialed?

I hate phones, so no.  Not really. 

I’m an introvert, so, while I get incredibly chatty and insecure in the first rush of alcoholic splendor: Do you think I’m insecure?  Does it bother you that I’m insecure?  Does talking about my insecurity bother you? (Somebody get a knife). 

Once past the point of my ‘tiny buzz’, I shut down more and more. So the likelihood of me ever saying something I regret is slim. 

No, I tend to only make a total fool out of myself when stone cold sober.

Sigh.

Now, pass me that bottle of Boodles and show yourself out.