Who Did It Better? I Don't Wanna Go

Who Did It Better? 

I Don't Wanna Go

Ah, another song that never quite made it, but remains a big part of my personal musical recollection. Today, we take four different listens to the same song, one of which came within a few digits of breaking into the Top 40.

I Don’t Wanna Go is a song written by Bruce Roberts and Carole Bayer Sager. The two were riding high, having both been signed to solo deals with Elektra. In fact, Roberts would include the song on his self-named debut album and it would be released as a single in Canada and the UK in 1977.  It would fail to chart, but that would hardly be the end of Roberts career, who would go on to write major hits for Barbra Streisand, Donna Summer, The Pointer Sisters, and Whitney Houston, to name but a few.

The song would also be recorded by a trio known as The Moments. It was included on their 1976 album, Moments With You on Stang Records. Released as a single in 1977, it would climb all the way to #18 on the US R&B chart. Later in their career, due to legal entanglements, the group would change their name to Ray, Goodman & Brown and enjoy their biggest hit, Special Lady (#5 US). 

Joey Travolta, brother of John, had been signed to Casablanca's Millennium label. Hopes ran high for his 1978 self-titled debut album. The album's advance single, issued on May 1,1978, was I Don't Wanna Go. To promote the single, Travolta made several television appearances to sing the song, including American Bandstand. The Mike Douglas Show, and the the Netherland's Top Pop. With all the hype, the single almost eked its way into the Top 40 (which would have assured additional airplay), but ended up peaking at #43 on Billboard's Hot 100. 

   
The song got one more shot in the arm, when Samantha Sang, who had first received nationwide recognition in Australia, chose to include it on her 1978, Private Stock debut album, Emotion. However, it was decided not to release I Don't Wanna Go as a single because it had already had three shots at the Top 40.  

And that's the whole story.

Now? On to the competition!

The Song: I Don't Wanna Go

The Competitors: Roberts vs. The Moments vs. Travolta vs. Sang

I Don't Wanna Go - Bruce Roberts

I Don't Wanna Go - The Moments

I Don't Wanna Go - Joey Travolta

I Don't Wanna Go - Samantha Sang

Bruce Roberts

This is MOR (Middle of the Road) Pop, an acquired taste for sure. Most pop stars end up moving toward that market as they get a bit older. Roberts, because that is the stuff he writes, began there, reinventing it a bit. He's a part of a school of writers (Allee Willis, Carole Bayer Sager, Marvin Hamlisch, Libby Titus, Melissa Manchester, etc.) who would eventually rope in some pretty big names (Neil Diamond, Burt Bachrach, Barbara Streisand, etc.) 

I've always enjoyed listening to the albums created by the songwriters because you get a purer sense of a song's structure and hints about its creation. 

We've got a keyboard that sounds influenced by an old mellotron, and some strummed guitar to kick it off, so, you know right away this is not a big production number. Roberts voice is in confessional mode, his vocals, very polite - and this song brings to mind Stephen Bishop. 

I do love his lilt and his phrasing; combined, I feel like I'm holding hands with him as he sings (yes... I had a huge crush on Mr. Roberts.) 

I don't like the second verse... I don't like the bongos, I don't like the backing vocals, I don't like the messy keyboards. 

Once we get to the chorus? We're back on track. It's a bit strident, but you get the hook. 

Yeah, it's the arrangement here. Just not doing it for me. It feels clunky. I get that they are trying to fill in the song, but it's like they're simply dropping little pieces of ideas here and there. The backing vocals are really... unnecessary. I mean, what is that.. "woo-ha-hooo-ah?" Child, please.

And that guitar is so tinny and incidental and all over the map and in the way. 

I really would simply prefer to hear Roberts sing. Again... his phrasing is so relaxed and effortless, yet gives this trifle of a song a lot of shape. 

Second chorus... the backing vocals kind of wreck it for me. They sound flat-footed and uninspired. 

I think the main problem here is the tempo. It drags. If they wanted to do these backing vocals, then it needs a bit more zip to work. 

The instrumental break - very cloying, messy. Muted sax, blech. I still like Roberts, though. He keeps cutting through this dreck. 

Okay, done with this. By the time the key change happens, this is just not going anywhere. It's the tempo and the tone. Dull, dull, dull. 

(I still want him to ask me to prom, though.)

The Moments

Very clean intro. It's a bit brash, but works. The moment those vocals come in, I feel like this dude is confiding in me. His phrasing and timing, a bit odd, but those hints of falsetto... I'm like, go one, I'm listening!

I'm hearing a bit of Smokey Robinson magic here. That weird little trill in his voice. It's like my antennae keeps getting twanged. That electric keyboard is in the way. Very intrusive. Keeps interrupting my connection with the singer. 

That chorus. This is lovely. Great vocals. Subtle production work. Nice strings. 

"And, oh, how I wish..." - that sounds like Diana Ross, and now I wish she was singing this. 

That woodblock knock... annoying. "Would we still be running scared?" Great phrasing. Subtle. Totally hooks me. Very sly. 

That second chorus? No. Something's out of balance. The drums are annoying and mixed too high. I felt like a dove in his hand until this. And now, I'm trying to find that feeling again. 

So, you should know this about me... I adore The Stylistics. I can't explain it. Their vocal styling simply does something to me. This is from that same school. 

Sadly, there's something off about the mix the further we get into the song. It's harsh sounding, I don't think that's what this was about at the song's start. I no longer like the backing vocals. 

When we get back to just the lead singer singing? He trembles like a dove. I adore. 

So I just realized that I am listening to the album version, which is twice as long as the single version. 

The single version? It has a completely different arrangement! Glissandos, and heavy strings with a flugelhorn and the vocals sound like they took a hot iron to them and flattened them. 

Know what? I am gonna bail on this one. 

Joey Travolta

I like the tempo better. This is a very Barry Manilow sounding arrangement, except for that weird guitar thing. What is that? A steel guitar? 

Travolta sounds good. A little Frankie Valli like. He's riding the beat nicely, adding a bit of syncopation. 

As the chorus progresses they keep adding elements. It's overpowering the song and singer. Once that flute arrives... blech.

Travolta's voice has a breathy nasal sound to it that I kind of like. He's such a guido. I have to say, the more I listen to this version, the more I want Frankie Valli to be singing. Travolta's attack is, overall, quite nice. He handles that key change with aplomb. 

I like his energy. Yes, he's vocally limited, I suspect, but this is really pleasant. I like what he brings to this. Very winning. The backing vocals are a little over the top. 

Okay... what is with him singing "Nnnnnnnn?" What is that. That is weird. And unintentionally funny. 

I do like his enthusiasm. 

I do not like that final key change... that... is... terrible. Cheese. It dead now.

Samantha Sang

That intro purrs like a Bee Gees inspired kitten!  I like the way she over-pronounces certain words. I love the breathiness. Barry Gibb obviously gave her some great pointers - those ragged, breathy endings? Yes. 

The keyboard is way too busy and her vocals are buried in the mix. "I still don't understand... just... how..." I love it. 

What is with the 1950's rocket ship taking off as we move into the chorus? I like what she does with the chorus. Again... don't like the backing vocals. They are flat-footed. Is that like a whale call at the end of the chorus? What is that? Very nautical sounding. Like in a submarine. 

I get that her vocals are an acquired taste. I just dig 'em. 

This arrangement is one shaker short of a Holiday Inn lounge band. And I don't understand the use of the glissandos. Such a weird touch. 

Eek. Flute. 

I'm out.

Love her. Can't stand this arrangement.

The Verdict

How about.... none of the above?

Yes, it could be that this song was not a hit for anyone because... it is not that great of a song. It is slight. 

I think Travolta comes the closest, although he's undone by a meddlesome arrangement that tries way too hard. 

I like the vocals on all the other versions. Roberts has a great sense of style and impeccable phrasing. The Moment's lead singer has a gorgeous voice and uses it to tremendous advantage throughout. And I have a soft spot for Sang in all her breathy, Marilyn Monroe gooiness. 

Honestly? Not a single good arrangement in the bunch. And the production work on all these is absolute dreck. 

You know what? 

They can't all be winners.

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And that's enough of me. Okay, your turn... let me know what you think. Leave your choice in the comments section. Ask yourself: if you were a record executive, which of these versions would you release as a single? 

And that's it for today.

Until next time? Thanks for reading... and listening!

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I Don't Wanna Go - Joey Travolta

Special Lady - Ray, Goodman and Brown

Who Did It Better? Go Where You Wanna Go

Who Did It Better? 

Go Where You Wanna Go

Remember that whole six-degrees of separation game? In show business it's fun and not uncommon at all to be able to find connections between this star and that one. Well, it happens in music circles, too... and that's part of what interested me about today's song, because it turns out that these two very different musical groups happen to have a number of industry heavyweights in common.  

You'll see what I mean. Let's dive in...

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Go Where You Wanna Go is a song written by John Phillips for his group, The Mama & The Papas.

While the song appears to be celebrating a carefree, freewheeling lifestyle, it's actually written from the perspective of one dealing with the ambiguities of infidelity. Phillips is on record saying "that he wrote it about Michelle Phillips' affair with Russ Titelman, a songwriter and record producer... who would do production work for Randy Newman, Eric Clapton, Steve Winwood, and Chaka Khan."

Bandmates, John and Michelle married in 1962, but by 1963 "their marriage was on the rocks." Michelle went so far as to move from Los Angeles to New York, in order to be with her lover, Titelman, which prompted John to write the song, including the following lines:

Three thousand miles, that's how far you'll go
And you said to me "Please don't follow"

While Michelle would eventually leave Titleman and return to the fold, it was clear that her concept of marriage was quite nontraditional and things between she and John would never be the same. 

Go Where You Wanna Go was recorded by The Mamas & the Papas for their album, If You Can Believe Your Eyes and Ears. In February of 1966, it was released as a single, but was quickly withdrawn, with the track California Dreamin' being given preferential treatment and promotion instead. 

 

A bit of trivia... P.F. Sloan, who would later be immortalized in a song bearing his name written by Jimmy Webb, played guitar on Go Where You Wanna Go. 

Sloan, who is most famous for writing the song  Eve Of Destruction, was a friend  of John Phillips. In an interview with SongFacts, Sloan described Go Where You Wanna Go as "An absolutely stupendous record. It's magical. I thought it had everything. And it was a complete stiff. It just goes to show you that everything is timing. You'd think that if the song is great and the vocals are great and the band is great, you've got a hit, but... timing is everything."

Both Sloan and Jimmy Webb would play a part in the story of the group that did end up making Go Where You Wanna Go a hit. Sloane wrote Another Day, Another Heartache, which would serve as The 5th Dimension's second single, while Webb would write their third charting single and one of their biggest hits, Up, Up and Away.

Signed to Johnny Rivers' Soul City Records, The 5th Dimension recorded Go Where You Wanna Go in December of 1966 at Rivers suggestion. According to group member Marilyn McCoo, "the record company wasn't going to release it as a single, but we put our whole thing into it, released it and it was a hit," - reaching #16 on the US Billboard Hot 100 and #18 in Canada. Once the song established the group as potential hitmakers, a whole album was put together, spurring the group on to international stardom.  

And there you have it, the whole story.

Now? On to the competition!

The Song: Go Where You Wanna Go

The Competitors: The Mamas & The Papas vs. The Fifth Dimension

Go Where You Wanna Go - The Mamas & The Papas

Go Where You Wanna Go - The 5th Dimension

The Mamas & The Papas

Love the opening riff. Big jangly guitars and a damn tambourine. An incredibly syncopated vocal arrangement. Lazy? Not these kids. Very bright sounding and speedy. When the ladies take center stage, it's like they are breaking through a surface. When they hold on to the word 'man', it gets a bit shrill, but then Mama Cass had a huge voice. 

While the women are holding court, if you listen to the arrangement it sounds very much like something Phil Spector would have put together. And listen to how the strings enter, dovetailing perfectly with the lady's vocals. 

That bridge is very sweet, so why is it being sung in such an urgent, strident manner? Listen to the way they sing 'please.' Musically? It makes no sense. 

Now, I must go on record as being a fan of The Mamas & The Papas music. Their greatest hits album? One of my favorite listens. But I never actually sat down and started pulling apart their music or vocals from an interpretive standpoint. The sheer power and complexity of their vocals are so impressive, I never thought to consider the other musical aspects that go into a performance. 

As I'm listening to this, I don't believe they're very emotionally in touch with the lyrics - and it's not that I think they need to include the storyline that inspired Phillips in the first place, but I do feel they need to convey some kind of emotional content. Joyful? This doesn't sound joyful to me. This sounds speedy, complex and shouted.

And everything seems to be competing for attention. Those strings? When the ladies repeat their part for a second time, those flourishes and string stings feel thrown on top and not an integral part of the song. I realize the song is simply the same three musical sections repeated twice and that the producers and the group wanted to distinguish the first from the second, but simply throwing more stuff on top and getting louder and more piercing isn't the best musical choice, here.

At the same time... those voices, that blend? That's magical. And they certainly would show off their talents much better on other songs. 

Not that I need all the edges to be smoothed or filed down - part of the fun of folk music is a crisp tambourine and jangly guitars, both of which, if you listen, end up getting lost in the mix, here. Maybe my expectations are wrong. I wanted to hear unadulterated freedom, the footloose and fancy free kind celebrated by this generation.

This? This is not carefree... this is a jackhammer during rush hour. 

The 5th Dimension

Now keep in mind, this is early in The 5th Dimension's career. They may have become variety show staples at one point, but here? They are simply a fresh-faced vocal group looking for a break. 

I like the bass. And you can hear Johnny River's influence when it comes to this arrangement. So, this is just as driven as The Mamas & The Papas' version, but their vocals are fully meshed. I hear the ladies right away and their sound is just as rounded and full as the guys'. And when the ladies move front and center? Well, it's a little too 'old lady-ish' for my taste. Is it Marilyn's vibrato? Not sure. It feels better, more like a Phil Spector song, when they hold on to to "just one man", flaring it out a bit. 

Oh, my... I rather love what they do with the bridge. That's a lovely sound. Huh. In comparison, it's like The Mama & Papas were yelling at each other. Here? The 5th Dimension have their blend down to a lovely sheen. I wonder what John Phillips thought of this version? Did he care? He was getting royalties. 

Does it sound like elevator music? I'm going to say no; it simply sounds like a group of singers really in touch with one another and the song. Keep in mind, it's 1966. Despite their smoother edges, a lot of personality comes through. Up With People, this is not. 

The tambourine is always there. There are two kinds of strings at work... there's those shrill ones riding on top and then those fun flourishes bubbling up from underneath. Interestingly mixed, nothing really gets in the way of or competes with the group vocals. 

Odd key change. And the song still ends sounding a bit like a battle. 

The Verdict

Maybe I am in a weird mood where I can't appreciate the vintage qualities of this tune, but I don't think I like the song itself much. 

I don't like The Mamas and The Papas' version much at all. It feels screechy and makes me anxious - and not in a good way. If you had asked me what I thought of this song before today, I would have told you I loved it and I loved their version - it's the first song on their greatest  hits album - and I used to love cleaning house while listening to it. But today? It's not working for me. The only thing it is working is my nerve.

And I am not familiar with The 5th Dimension's version at all. This is the first time I am hearing it. I like their vocals better, in some ways. They seem more in tune with one another, having developed a fuller sound, but then they also tend to move toward the middle of the road with their 'hip youthful' sheen. 

I do like The 5th Dimension's arrangement better and the overall recording is more thoughtful. 

I could get away with saying it's sort of a tie, with no winners, but that's the cowards way out.

I'm giving it to The 5th Dimension... because I like what they do with it musically much more than what The Mamas & The Papas have done with it. 

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And that's my two cents worth!

Okay, your turn. You know what to do. Leave your choice in the comments section. Disagree? Let me know why. I'm always open to a differing opinion.

That's all for now.

Until next time...

Thanks for reading... and listening!

Go Where You Wanna Go - The Mamas & The Papas

Go Where You Wanna Go - The 5th Dimension

on Shebang

Who Did It Better? Please Don't Go

Who Did It Better? 

Please Don't Go

Please Don't Go is a song written by Harry Wayne Casey (KC) and Richard Finch.

It was recorded by KC and The Sunshine Band and released in 1979 as the second single from their sixth album, Do You Wanna Go Party.

The song was the first # 1hit of the 1980's on the Billboard Hot 100. It was also an international chart hit, reaching #1 in Australia, South Africa, and Canada while charting  at #3 in New Zealand and the UK, #4 in Norway, #5 in Ireland, #7 in the Netherlands, #8 in Belgium and #20 in West Germany. 

Shortly after the song's one-week run at #1, the group broke up and Harry Wayne Casey went solo - sort of. He and Richard Finch would continue to write and record together. There were a number of factors behind the breakup: TK Records went bankrupt, so they signed to a new label, Epic, who were less than supportive, and new wave was in and disco was out. 

Double You is an Italian Eurodance group founded in 1985 by vocalist William Naraine, keyboardist and producer Franco Amato, and DJ Andrea de Antoni. In January 1992, Please Don't Go, a dance version of the KC and the Sunshine Band song, was released as a single and on the group's album, We All Need Love. Their version proved to be a big hit in the clubs as well as the charts, hitting #1 in Belgium and the Netherlands, #2 in Australia, France, and Switzerland, #3 in Germany, #6 in Italy, and #9 in Sweden. It also hit #41 in the UK, but that was after another group beat them to the punch.

You see, Network Records attempted to distribute Double You's version via ZYX Records in the UK. When they failed? Network Records created a soundalike version. So, while Double You were initially stymied in the UK market because they had no distribution deal, that left the door open for an enterprising UK group, KWS, to swoop in and scoop Double You on the heat their version of the song was generating worldwide. 

KWS band member Chris King heard Double You's take on the song, formed the group and recorded a version utilizing Double You's arrangement. Their soundalike version raced up the UK charts, snagging the #1 spot for a solid five weeks in May of 1992. It even crossed the pond and managed to reach #6 on Billboard's Hot 100 chart in the US. It also made it to #7 in Germany, but had to be withdrawn in the country due to legal issues with Double You. 

Following three years of litigation. the similarity between the versions resulted in Network paying compensation to Roberto Zanetti, Double You's producer.

The whole drama was picked up by a television station in Nottingham and BBC radio, which crowned it 'Record Of The Week' - and in a single week KWS's version jumped from #30 to #9 in the UK. Top Of The Pops also jumped on board, with the group performing it five weeks in a row on the show. That propelled it to #1 for five solid weeks. In addition their version hit #1 in Israel, #2 in Australia, Finland, and Greece, #3 in Ireland, #8 in Sweden, #9 in New Zealand, #11 in Switzerland, #15 in Spain, and #27 in Canada

In light of this achievement, The Nottinghamshire County Council, who counted KWS as one of their own, honored the group with a civic reception. A council chairman  commented: "All the good work they are doing is helping to put Nottingham in a good light. We like to put on receptions for people that have achieved something. We are proud of what they have done and will wish them well for the future."

In May of 2008, Please Don't Go was covered by Swedish musician Basshunter. Released as a single, it also appeared on his album, Now You're Gone – The Album. 

The song was originally planned to be released in the UK in June of 2008, as the second single from the album, however, it was cancelled due to technical difficulties and another song took it's place. It was eventually released as a single in Sweden where it snagged the #6 slot. But it wasn't all roses and champagne for Basshunter's version; in 2009 it was deemed #43 of The 50 Worst Songs of the '00s by The Village Voice.

And that's the whole story.

Now? On to the competition!

The Song: Please Dont' Go

The Competitors: KC And The Sunshine Band vs. Double You vs. KWS vs. Basshunter

Please Don't Go - KC And The Sunshine Band

Please Don't Go - Double You

Please Don't Go - KWS

Please Don't Go - Basshunter

KC And The Sunshine Band

I must say that once KC dropped his horn section and started concentrating on synth driven music things started sounding a bit thin. That's at the heart of the issues I have with his version of this song; it sounds painfully cheap. 

His voice - in weird tenor/falsetto mode, sounds tired and a little ragged. And while I am not immune to the charms of the actual song - the ear candy hooks are there, I will never understand how this became a #1 hit in the US. I think it's a testament to the overall quality of what was being offered up at the time. Everyone was fascinated with synths... they simply didn't know how to make them sound very good. 

That one synth sounds like an accordion. 

His vocals on the second verse are at least a little more forward and focused, even if the doubling of them is somewhat distracting. 

Things fill out a bit at the 1:53 mark... but then that weird laser-whistle zings in and out and... it actually hurts my ears. More proof that they simply had no idea how to make musical sense of what they had to work with. 

As far as this being a huge hit, the only explanation I can think of is... it was a big hit at high school dances, because you got to hang all over your date and slow dance to it. 

And it simply goes on and on. Yes, his vocals get more intense. Yes the arrangement fills out. But the mix is odd. It sounds warped. And the bass sounds out of tune. 

It all sounds dead in the water to me. 

And I can't shake that.

And that spoken bit at the end with the shimmy synth... ugh.

Naïve. 

Double You

Like his voice. Like the intensity in tune with that satellite beam blinking.  Okay, once he starts actually singing, he sounds a bit flattened. But I like the anticipation found in the tempo and the eventually rolling up to dance-ville. 

That rhythm track. One should have been able to buy it off the shelf like a bottle of Windex. Yes, it sounds canned, just like that insistent keyboard figure playing over and over in the background. But that was the era. (Remember Cathy Dennis?) At the time, it was very exciting stuff. 

I do like the string arrangement. It sounds quite believable and demonstrates a deft, clever touch.

Naraine's vocals are all cut from the same cloth - not a lot of surprises, however, I do find his voice rather seductive. Of course, that could be because I keep looking at his lips in photos... sigh.

Interesting use of the sax - sounds like a duck. 

That keyboard figure never ceases. Yes, it drives the thing forward, but it also drives me a bit mad. 

Oh, I like the backing vocals near the end. 

Overall, I found this quite enjoyable. Bloodless. But enjoyable. 

KWS

This sounds warmer and more rounded, though a bit rushed. I think I liked Double You's intro a tad better. It's the timing with the satellite bleeps, here; they feel off. 

I like the synth utilized for that insistent repeating figure here much better. It's warmer and not so pointed. In fact, the blood that was missing in Double You's version seems to be pumping here. The vocals are just as flattened, but there's a rougher edge to them, and my ears are responding to that. 

I think that intro bit overstays it's welcome. 

There's a brightness to the lead vocals that I like. Also, there's more air in the mix. 

Now this? This makes me think of Haddaway. Oh, my word... I was mad about that boy. 

Rather disappointed they didn't spring for some actual strings. Instead, they're flavoring things with a very soft synth coloring things up the tiniest bit in the background. 

And, well, the sax part... a tad boring, but at least it doesn't bring to mind a duck. 

Huh. They miss the boat after that sax bit. They don't build, they drop stuff out. It's a bit of a let down at the 2:24 mark.

And from that point on... they bring the same elements back one by one, including that lovely synth/string thing, and his vocals ramp up intensity... but - the magic's gone. Despite the vocalist's best intentions, it doesn't seem to go anywhere new. 

Pity. 

Basshunter

He doesn't stray far from Double You's intro, but keeps it brief, as we are catapulted into rave mode. Oh, dear.

This sounds a bit cliché.  Okay, I have mixed feelings. I enjoy the throb. I love the fuller sound. But I'm also having flashbacks to Cotton-Eyed Joe (not good) and that swishy ghostlike backbeat... ick. 

His vocals are so treated he sounds like an auto-tuned Speak And Spell. 

Hokey. That instrumental part. Pure hokum. 

I keep expecting little Dutch girls in braided pigtails and wooden shoes to suddenly appear and do a quaint dance.

Are you ready? 

This is so cheesy. It sounds like a track found on one of those nonsensical European pop compilations. Oh... I have some and I adore them, for the songs are, well... truly terrible. But that's part of their appeal. This? This would feel right at home there.

The big dropout at the 1:30 mark... and we start all over. 

I like the second verse a bit better. 

(Ready for take off?)

Only... it doesn't. 

I do like the vocoder ending. 

(Mainly because it is the end.)

The Verdict

KC, minus sunshine... wow. What a draggy affair. I don't find it appealing in the slightest. So lifeless.

Double You's arrangement is the most interesting of the bunch and I truly applaud their use of strings. Yes, a bit cookie-cutter, but it was considered innovative at the time. I find Naraine's vocals sexy. 

I was going to give this to KWS, but they only deliver half a song. Once the do the dropout, I am over their version. It goes nowhere new, so why bother? I liked the overall sound of their version best, it had a warmth and a bit of air. And I liked the vocalist as he brought to mind Haddaway. But they kill it with that dropout. 

And Basshunter? No. I can't. Yes, a lively sounding bit of production work, but it's rather alien in nature, isn't it? Like a European's idea of space rock. I can't get the image of dancing Dutch girls out of my mind. It almost sounds like a parody. Oh!... Eurovision. Of course. 

So... I'm going with Double You's version. Mainly because I want to bite that man's lower lip... just a little. Sigh. No, actually, it's because I enjoyed their journey the most. And those strings... the best of the bunch. 

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And that's enough of me.

Your turn; you know what to do: leave your thoughts and choice in the comments section.

Until next time...

Thanks for reading... and listening!

Please Don't Go - KC And The Sunshine Band

Please Don't Go - Double You

Please Don't Go - KWS

10 Pet Peeves about Gay Men on the Internet

Note: I don’t feel like revealing too much of myself this week. I’m kind of sitting on the fence with my nose wrinkled up (like I’m smelling something stinky). I’m sure it will pass. As I sit here looking at the sky, I notice that it is indeed blue and the clouds present seem fairly distant, white and fluffy. So, I’m not depressed. Just pensive. Or in between phases (or personalities).

In light of my mood – here is a list of pet peeves about gay men on the internet. I think I will title it:

Pet Peeves about Gay Men on the Internet

1/ Referring to oneself as VGL

What the hell does that mean? VGL? By what standard is this measured? Have people been telling you that your whole life and therefore you assume it is a given? Who the hell are you to decide that for yourself? If beauty is in the eye of the beholder then you must be a major narcissist or one big deluded ball of self deception. Granted, all gay men have a shallow, self-involved side (as well as that part of them that is totally deluded) – why else are we sexually attracted to a body that is physically equipped like our own? But advertising yourself as VGL– well, that just makes you an asshole.

My favorite is when the extremely shallow try to justify themselves. I have a saying for them:

“When a shallow person attempts to be deep, they just wind up digging themselves a deeper hole.”

2/ Being over the age of 25 and referring to one’s self as: boy or boi.

If you are over the age of 25, you are not a boy. Yes, you can dress like one, act like one and enjoy thinking of yourself in terms of your boyhood – but it is unseemly for you to include boy or boi in your on-line handle. Role play is one thing. I have played the boy (yes, even now – with people much younger than myself). I have played Daddy. But I do not go around advertising myself as either. Sex should be sexy, not ridiculous. When you hang on to the title of boi for too long you run the risk of self-parody (think: Robin Williams) – or grotesqueness (think: Jane Hudson as played by Robin Williams). Twinks, generally do very little for me. Twinks with a 3’oclock shadow, fleshy man boobs, crows feet and bags under their eyes are… well, ridiculous - no matter how much time the spend at the gym, roller blading, biking and/or at the tanning booth - and hence, will be doing nothing with me.

3/ People who PNP and don’t disclose until you are in the act or after the act.

Okay, so people who PNP are not welcome in my world. I just hate that stuff. I’m not talking 420. I’m talking everything else. I’ve lost friends to that bitch, Tina. I’ve seen her destroy lives, loves and careers. She also makes for bad, bad sex; the worst, actually. If you are playing with Tina, please do the world a favor and announce that fact. Don’t entice me, set-me-up, have me travel all the way to your place, have your way with me and then tell me ‘oh, wow – I hope you don’t mind but….’ My response to that is always the same: Fuck You!

First of all – it explains why you can’t cum and/or keep it up. (So it’s not me.) Secondly – you crappy tweakers are the number one reason for the rise of syphilis in our gay community. (So fuck you.) And thirdly – now that you mention it, it explains so much: like why your apartment looks like crap, why you no longer resemble your on-line pictures, and why the sex we just had was so mind-boggingly awful. (Yes, it’s not me – it is, in fact, you, asshole.).

Party and play? Knock yourself out. No, really… just knock yourself out and leave the rest of us alone. We don’t want to be on that invite list. That way we don’t waste our time and energy on the likes of you.

4/ People who need to hook up RIGHT NOW. NOW!

What is it with these people? Are they friends of Tina? Do they think that you are Fed(s)Ex? Do you think you’re a pizza that gets delivered in 20 minutes or less or they get their money back? Hooking up on line takes time. So does preparing one’s body for sex. So does traveling a distance of more than five feet. Either you have time to hook-up or… you don’t. Don’t expect me to teleport myself to your location simply because your roommate is going to be home in 15 minutes.

Also… when answering my Craigslist ad – you may want to look at the time the ad was posted and then check the right hand corner of your computer monitor for the current time. Logistics… they take time and consideration. Nothing is going to happen of any quality unless you plan carefully and allow enough time. Same goes for prep time. You really do not want your bottom to rush the whole douching thing. Unless you like that sort of thing. In which case, that is something you need to negotiate up front. This brings me to my next pet peeve:

5/ People who lack reasonable hygiene.

I don’t mind a little fresh body odor. In the woods it’s like an aphrodisiac. I’ve had people tell me a fresh pit (mine) is better than poppers. I can even forgive a little poop sauce sloshing out of your recently douched hole provided that the emphasis is on ‘little’. Chocolate fountains belong in a different chat room entirely. But don’t expect me to be thrilled if you haven’t bothered to at least run a wash cloth over your stinky hole. If I’m blowing you, I am going to want to touch your hole (sometimes it helps put them over the edge), so it better not have any funky leftover residue. Uncut? Not a problem. Fromunda Cheese? Big problem.

You see… stinky and icky tasting does not sexy make. Granted there are lots of people who enjoy these things, but unless you disclose ahead of time and are in agreement, these kind of issues can be real deal breakers. People who are hooking up for run-of-the-mill vanilla sex do not like these kind of surprises.

What to do when faced with such a situation? I have in the past suggested that we start with a shower or that the person needed to go clean themselves up a bit before play can begin. But I shouldn’t have to. You should know well enough whether you’re diet consists primarily of garlic paste and whether a little Listerine would be a good idea before coming on over to my place for a little something-something. Want me to come over to your house? Wanna play house? Then take a shower, give yourself a whore’s bath, shave if needed, douche appropriately, and brush your damn teeth.

6/ Bottoms who don’t douche.

This goes with ‘Bottoms who want to be fucked outdoors, in the woods, but gee… they don’t bother to mention that they didn’t bother to douche beforehand and are in fact – ‘full of shit.’

Enough said. Don’t offer up your backside without a warning. A meek, “I may not be that clean down there’, will suffice. And NEVER grab my dick and shove it up there unless there is an agreement (and a condom) in place. Anal sex is never a given. It is like kissing - it is something negotiated and understood beforehand. Fucking is either on or off the table. (I like it any place. As long as there is running water nearby or wet wipes.) That way all parties involved can prepare (douch, bring condoms, inform CNN, etc.).

There is nothing worse than being on a hike, in the middle of the woods, with your jeans around your ankles and a coating of shit on your dick with NOTHING to wipe it off with. Offer me a leaf? Fuck you. Oh, yeah, that’s right – I just did and now I have poop all over my privates. Now… if you are smart (and I must confess – I have not always been so), you were wearing a condom and that helped make clean up a lot easier. And if you weren’t wearing a condom then… you kind of got what you deserved. Yes… another reason to convince your top to wear a condom… easy clean-up.

7/ People don’t confirm meetings, respond to emails or follow through with the pics they promised once you sent yours.

Okay… if we’re trading pics? Then you need to keep up your end of the bargain whether or not you’re interested. A promise is a promise. So follow through asshole.

Yeah, I know, I know. There are people out there who just want to jerk you around. They have no intention of hooking up. They collect pictures and get your hopes up. They crush your spirit.

But then there are those that can’t bring themselves to do the decent thing and simply type: Thanks, but not interested.

Once you let the other person know you aren’t interested, you are relieved of all further responsibility. They won’t bug you with further emails or IM’s. And they won’t worry about whether or not their email ended up in your junk mail. It pretty much takes care of it: Thanks, but not interested. Try it some time. It really works.

Of course it can also boomerang into another pet peeve of mine…

8/ People who take offense when you turn them down.

This is perhaps part of the reason that people don’t write back once they have decided that you aren’t the one. And yes, I was guilty of this…once. Just once. I wrote something awful to the shallow son-of-a-bitch who failed to send the pictures he promised me. Instead he just told me I was not his type. Which… sorry, guys… we really need to accept as enough of a response. They are there to hook up with the hottest person they can possibly snare. If you’re not on their level, not their type, or they can do better… let it go; especially if they have been honest enough to say so.

Look - I am not Zach Efron or Zach Braff. I am not Seth Meyers, Seth MacFarlane, Seth Green or Seth Rogen. I am just what I am… which is an average schmo who did not luck out in the cute department. So, don’t take it out on them… they are being honest with you.

Of course, they should send their pics as promised, just so you know what it is you’re missing out on.

9/ People with really, really old pictures of themselves which they pass off as current.

I’ve been on the net for years now. I visit the same sites that all horny fags visit. If you have the same picture you had on your profile three years ago… there is a problem. If you have the same picture on your profile that you did eight years ago, then who is impersonating you?

We all change. We get better, we get bigger, we get more muscular, we get older, we get worse, we get…. something. The fact of the matter is... shit does happen to us. Our personal photos need to reflect that. This is marketing people. You don’t show me a picture of a Mercedes Benz Sedan and then show up with a KIA Sportage.

Digital pictures are so… inexpensive. If you have the equipment to take one… you have what it takes to keep your profile photo current. Current – as in: a reflection of your true self. Yeah, I know, the odds of actually taking a decent digital photo of yourself is slim. My body is okay. My face, not-so-much. I have yet to take a decent face shot. But hey… let the buyer beware. False advertising? Never a good idea. Leads to disappointment and you run the risk of having doors slammed in your face.

And speaking of false advertising: HEY! Be honest and complete with those stats. Shaving a few years off your age? Not a bad thing. Shaving off a century? Not cool. Shaving off ten pounds on your weight? Forgivable. Telling me you have a football player’s build when, in fact, you are seriously obese? Not cool. Adding a half inch to your dick size? Understandable. Not mentioning the fact that you’re hung like a four-year-old. Not cool. Also… 5’ 10” is never going to be 6’ 3”, even if we spend most of our time horizontally.

For the record: If someone asks for your stats be sure to include (at a minimum): age, height, weight, waist size, dick size, cut/uncut and a general, accurate description of your body.

If they want more information than that, they will ask for it. Yes! If they want to know ANYTHING else it is THEIR responsibility to ask (and your prerogative to share).

And, for now, finally:

10/ People who have no sense of humor.

A sense of humor can help take the edge off of on-line hooking up. As in: don’t take any of this shit personally. It’s a crap shoot. It’s cyberspace. It’s bullshit. You never know who you are dealing with on the other side of that IM… so man-up and keep your sense of humor. Don’t let them get to you. Remain bigger than the net. Remain human. Laugh at them. Laugh at yourself.

Always keep this in mind: People who go ape shit over nothing on the internet do not get laid. EVER. So don't go ape shit. EVER.

Well… that’s all I have for now. We’ll probably revisit this. But ten is all I have in me today.

Besides, I need to check my email. This guy promised to send me pics of himself if I sent my pics to him first...

Sunday Diva/Three From The Hip: Sylvester

Sunday Diva/Three From The Hip

Sylvester

In my big gay church there is a wing dedicated to The Divas Who Represent. They're not all flashy or cocks of the walk - in fact, some never officially came out of the closet during their lifetime - but they are all extraordinarily gifted, sharing their songs, music, and insights, allowing the world at large to learn, in the most subtle of ways, what it's like 'being green'. Thanks to their gifts and their bravery, they help make the world a little more gay every time their voices are heard. And that's been their true super power all along... their voice; they were heard. They mattered. And, whether they liked it or not, they represented!

One such diva, who bravely cast aside all doubt when it came to his sexuality?

Sylvester.

With a voice combining an unerring falsetto colored by gospel passions, he took control of the dance floor  and commanded the word's attention.

Growing up in South-Central Los Angeles and reared in the Pentecostal church, as a child, he toured and performed on the gospel circuit. 

Thanks to his grandmother, blues singer Julia Morgan, he became aware of and immersed himself in the music of  divas like Billie Holiday, Lena Horne and Josephine Baker - all of whom became his early musical role models.

Moving to San Francisco in the late 1960's, he became part of the counter-culture, joining the  Cockettes; a wildly irreverent cross-dressing cabaret troupe. But this diva knew his true worth. In no time he was fronting his own band taking on glitter-rock, glam before finding his true church... the discotheque 

His dramatic falsetto voice, glamorous stage wear and a sharp sense of humor served him well, placing him far above common drag. 

Staying true to himself, he hit the Top 40, ruled the dancefloor, and even appeared on American Bandstand!

But even as he was moving on creatively, incorporating elements of new wave into his music, a dark cloud appeared on his horizon. 

He became victim of his time and place, contracting HIV. 

But even then, this diva did not go silent, did not shun the world, but used his position to represent those similarity afflicted. He had no interest in going gently into that good night. 

And he was not alone. He felt the love and support of those who had come to admire his gifts. Patti LaBelle, The Pointer Sisters, Phyllis Hyman and many other let him know he need not walk alone.

Sadly, he lost the battle. But even as he felt his life force ebb, emaciated, he presented himself, as is, marching in San Francisco's Gay Pride parade one last time. 

He needed his community and the world at large to see just how devastating this disease was.

His legacy? Unquestioned. 

He was a pioneer. A champion. A true crusader. 

The gospel according to him?

Well, here are three from the hip, dropping from his lips. 

The Topic: Dying Honestly.

"When I was little, I used to dress up, and my mother said, 'You can't dress up,. You gotta wear these pants and these shoes. And have to, like, drink beer, play football.' And I said, 'No, I don't!' And she said, 'You're very strange.' And I said, 'That's okay!"

"I’ve never been a crusader, but I’ve always been honest. I may not volunteer details to the media, but I’ve never believed in lying or denying what I am to anyone."

"I’d been having throat problems and I thought it was bronchitis. I wasn’t worried. Having AIDS hadn’t even crossed my mind."

"I can’t walk very well anymore. I have problems with my feet and sometimes the pain is unbearable. But I don’t like to take pain killers because of the side effects."

"Down the line, I hope I won’t be in a lot more pain. But I don’t dwell on that. I’ll be fine, because my spirit is fine."

"It bothers me that AIDS is still thought of as a gay, white male disease."

"The black community is at the bottom of the line when it comes to getting information, even when we’ve been so hard hit by this disease. I’d like to think that by going public myself with this, I can give other people courage to face it.”

“It means a lot when compassion is shown. I know that whenever I hear that someone has AIDS my heart goes out to them. And when anyone I know dies from it, it worries me. I get nervous because I think, ‘That’ll be me someday.’ But I don’t spend a lot of time feeling sorry for myself because of that."

"I was ready to go. I made peace with that and I never thought, ‘Why me?’ I just accepted it."

"I wanna be buried in a pearl-colored casket. Don't bury me in a white casket, 'cause I don't wanna look like I'm lyin' in a white refrigerator!"

Dance (Disco Heat) - Sylvester

You Make Me Feel (Mighty Real) - Sylvester

Someone Like You - Sylvester

And one last parting shot...

"I’ve been in situations I shouldn’t have been in. We all have. But I still think that I’m a good person and I don’t regret anything I’ve done in my life."

Waiting for Convenience: Oxymoron or Just Smart Sex?

What becomes of us once sex in no longer our prime objective?  I have to ask, because, for so long now, sex has been just that for me – an all-consuming pursuit.  There was a time when there was not a suburb I would not travel to, a restroom I would not check out, a park I would not cruise, an hour I would not sneak away from work, a piece of strange that I would not want to experience… but lately, and I guess this would be since March of this year, I am less likely to go out of my way for a little something-something.  Instead of 24/7 horny, I am currently experiencing more like every-four-days horny.  And it’s not for lack of opportunity.  The opportunities and means of acquiring sex are all still in play.  I actually think I’m getting hit on more now that I am not actively seeking it 24/7. 

One of the reasons I am getting it on so much recently is – and yep, tooting my own horn here - my body is stellar.  I am so pleased, and a bit amazed that I – given my history and age - am in such great shape.  People comment on it all the time, so obviously I’m doing something right.  Yeah, the face is a lost cause.  I do what I can to minimize the horror, but hey, if a dude can’t put up with a little ugly, then they’re not the guy for me.  So opportunity continues to knock.   I am just less likely to answer. 

Why?

Lazy, I guess.  I can’t be bothered.  Lately, if I have to put too much of an effort into getting it, or if it is not convenient, then I am probably going to end up finding an excuse to say ‘no’.  No; what a strange word.  There was a time when that word, in relation to sexual activity, was never uttered by yours truly.  I was GGG for just about anything.  I remember travelling for hours to meet someone for the first time – sometimes without so much as a single photo.  I remember countless times before I got GPS when I would find myself totally lost, running late, and losing my mind.  I remember when I could overlook the fact that the dude didn’t match his picture or stats.  I remember that if I could squeeze a little fun in, I would go to any length to make it happen.  But now ‘no’ is not only an option, it sort of become the standard response. 

Is it because of my dogs?  I have three special-needs animals now.  I adore them, but they take a lot of work and make hosting anywhere but my garage impossible.  No one wants to hear a 12 year old deaf Boston Terrier scream while trying to get down and dirty.  Still, I can have sex elsewhere… and given the summer we just had, I did spend a great deal of time outdoors sunning in cruisy areas.

Is it my work load?  No.  I’ve had a great year at work, so far, and everything they hand me – while it may throw me off my game at first – I am eventually able to handle without much effort.

Is it the testosterone thing?  You see, as you age, your testosterone levels decrease slightly after the age of 40.  But I’ve had mine checked, and my Doc says I’m fine.

Is it that I’m getting older?  Well, as I mentioned, my bod is in the best condition it has ever been.  So I am healthy.  And relatively happy.  I don’t allow my past to rule my present.  I discard resentments as soon as possible.  And also, while it is something of a cliché’, to me, age is just a number… and I don’t feel the number I’m currently assigned. 

Then what is it?

I just don’t wanna.

I’d rather stay home.  I’d rather not spend all the time it takes to get ready to have sex or deal with the anxieties that arise when dealing with the many logistics involved in having some no-strings-attached fun.  I’d rather not deal with the potential disappointment of meeting someone who turns out not to be who or what they said they are.  I don’t want to deal with all the potential fall-out: dudes who don’t seem to understand that ‘no strings’ means that I may not want a dozen text messages from them in the following 24 hours peppered with requests to hook-up again, or experiences that fail to clear the bar and lead me to think I’ve wasted my time – regret is a huge bummer. 

I am very envious of those who lead lives that are not complicated.  They are so free.  They have tricks drop over whenever they want.  They never have a friend or family member making demands on their time.  And their living situation allows them to have sex whenever the hell they feel like it.  I think if my life was less complicated, and I have considered ducking any and all responsibility many a time, I would have ads on Craigslist inviting dudes over at 2:00 am.  I would host incredible, anonymous sex parties, where tops were invited to walk-in and find me on all fours with my ass in the air.  Or I just might have a series of established fuck buddies who have been assigned a day of the week. 

But that’s not my reality.  My life really comes down to a series of obligations and responsibilities.  Yes, I chose it all – or most of it, anyway.  So sex has always been something I kind of fit in where I can.  And the no-strings clause has been part of that mostly because 1/ I don’t want to complicate my life even more and 2/ I would hate to complicate someone else’s life with the choices I’ve made. 

So, sex remains a matter of convenience and my definition of convenience has become somewhat more narrow over the years.  Fortunately, on occasion, something really wonderful will happen – like last night, that more than strengthens my belief that waiting until it’s convenient is something that makes sense, for me.

I hadn’t gotten off in four days and was kind of jonesing, so, I’m trying my usual outlets – A4A, Manhunt, BBRTS, Grindr, and Scruff.  Plus I’m looking at some pretty hot free porn on one of my favorite blogs.  My attention is so split, that I don’t feel like I’m doing justice to any of it and, after considering putting an ad on Craigslist and then nixing the idea due to the fact that it seems like just too much fucking work, I shut it all down, get in my car and decide to check out one of my old cruising haunts.

I pull in.  It’s dark.  There are two guys in the lot.  Both of them are lot trolls – dudes that are always there working that parking lot or section of the woods.  And I mean, they have been there, probably every night, for the past six years that I have been cruising there.  Neither is what I am looking for, so I head over to another part of the park. 

Things are hopping here.  But it’s dark.  And the pickings aren’t exactly up to my new standards (YES – I have developed standards which I evoke whenever something looks like it might not be worth the effort).  So after a half hour of getting hit on and walking the other way, I go sit in my car.  Lo and behold, turns out I didn’t turn off Grindr or Scruff.  There are like six dudes with messages.  Most of them I recognize immediately as ‘this is going to go nowhere’ kind of inquiries.   But there is one really promising dude.  He’s from Texas, and staying at a nearby hotel.  His profile pic indicates that he is cute and muscular – in other words – out of my league. He’s very direct, which appeals to me quite a bit – I hate time wasters.

 I send him my pics and he keeps saying ‘hot’ – even my face pic!  He sends me his pics – and that is definitely a word that applies – HOT.  Amazingly, he’s a top who enjoys oral and kissing.  We’re a match.  Then he sends me his location.  It’s that Grindr map  – and I take one look at it and assume that trying to get to him is going to be too much trouble.  I’m about to tell him I can’t make it, but decide, just for the hell of it, to enter the name of his hotel in my GPS Navigator. 

Thank you, GPS!  What a life saver.  Amazingly enough, he’s only 2.7 miles away.  I am still thinking, oh, no – there’s gotta be a catch.  But there isn’t.  GPS takes me on back roads, rather than making me get on any of the major freeways, and I am there in a matter of a few minutes.  No sweat.

He tells me to meet him at the elevators.  I’m wearing a cap, a white-T, and a pair of work out pants.  So, I sort of stand out in the lobby, as everyone else is wearing business suits and the like.  I go stand by the elevators, realizing there is a very real  chance that he will come down, take one look at me, and say, “no dice”.  He comes down.  He’s in a white-T, dress pants and dress shoes.  His pics do him justice and his smile is killer.  Much to my surprise, he whisks me up to his room, making small talk the whole way.  We talk Minnesota, the weather, travel, blah, blah.

In the room, I ask to use the bathroom.  When I come out he’s still fully dressed.  We approach one another and meet at the foot of the bed.  He’s just under a foot shorter than me, but the first kiss hits the mark.  We strip and he climbs onto the bed, which he has actually opened up – so we’re not fucking on the comforter, but on the actual sheets – in other words, this Texan is a gentleman. 

And a hot gentleman.  Did I mention that he’s muscular?  Did I mention that he’s handsome?  His pecs are a work of art.  His waist, perfection.  His ass, sweet.  I can’t keep my hands off his biceps.  In situations like this I always feel a little bit like Barbara Streisand – the ugly duckling who manages to land a swan.  Well, this particular swan has me swooning.  How lucky can I get?

 He’s perfectly tan.  Around my age, too, so I can let go of that whole mindfuck.  I can tell that he must shave/trim everything everywhere, because he’s a tiny bit prickly, but then I didn’t do my due diligence that morning, and I’m a tiny bit prickly, too.  His dick is really, really pretty – like a delicious-looking, fat worm.  He’s only about 7” but he’s nicely thick, so that makes up for it.  It makes for some interesting frottage.  By this point, our kissing styles have meshed.  I was a little worried that he was going to turn out to be one of those kissers who kind of just open and close their mouths on yours, like a fish gasping for air – but after I take his bottom lip between my lips and hold it for a bit, he comes around and changes up his game.  I suck on his dick for a bit.  He’s not hard and the Chicken Little in my head starts running around screaming ‘he’s not that into you’.  I, of course, am fucking rock hard, which he appreciates and shows said appreciation by expertly deepthroating  my dick.  I must say, it looks damn good in his mouth.

Now, it is late – for me – I arrived at 9:45 pm – and we both have to work in the morning, so I think that has a lot to do with why we get straight to the fucking.  First, I’m on top.  I’m teasing the bare head of his dick with my hole, making him want it.  I’m pretty content with that, because my dick is rock hard and it looks good brushing up against his abs and pecs.  But then, in a surprising move, he makes me sit on it – bare.  I end up taking the whole thing at once and it hurts, but I keep breathing, telling myself it will pass. It does.  Next, I get my feet under me, planting them on either side of his head and just go to town bouncing on his cock.  He reaches over and gets more lube and a condom.  I slide off his dick, he puts the condom on, and I slide right back on it.  He’s lubed up my dick and is pumping it with his left hand, but I ask him to stop because between his palm and the pressure his dick is placing in my hole, I’m about to cum. 

Then we switch it up with me on my back, my legs pushed back, riding on his shoulders.  He’s an animal and keeps changing it up just enough to keep it hot.  Lately, I am really into dudes going achingly slow, allowing me to feel every inch going in and out of my hole.  He alternates between that and pounding the fuck out of me.  I feel totally at his mercy.  Throughout, he leans down for kisses.  He mentions that he’s getting close and I tell him to go for it.  He seems surprised at this, but then, it is late and he has an early flight and I have an early day.  He grabs a bottle of poppers and takes a hit, offers me one (which I accept) and then takes another.  I squeeze and release my hole as he pounds me.  It produces the correct response.  Loading that condom with jizz, he cums very quietly, which also surprises me – he’d been so vocal up until that moment, I was expecting a wave of drama. 

Being the gentleman Texan he is, he stays in me, and encourages me to get off; talking sweetly to me and giving me deep kisses.  I cum, shooting a nice puddle of creamy white all over my abs.  Clean-up is easy.  Before I know it, I’m dressed and headed down to the lobby alone.  On the way, I send him a message via Grindr, thanking him.  I leave with no regrets, amazed at the economy of time and activity I just experienced.

When it’s right – it’s really right.

When it’s right it all works – the timing, the logistics, the activity; which is why waiting for such moments is really the way to go, for me.  The scattershot approach – having as much sex as possible to ensure that on occasion I get a choice piece – doesn’t work for me anymore.  Such a strategy depletes my energy supply, works my nerves, and is a real drain on my free time.  I guess I should trust the universe more often and stop forcing this particular issue. 

Instead of being easy, I should wait until it is easy – and feels right. 

Does that mean I’m losing my edge?  No.  It means I’m getting smarter about my sex.  Quality, not quantity, does the trick (so to speak), every time.

See… I’m not getting older – I’m getting smarter.