Sunday Diva/Three From The Hip: Phyllis Hyman

Sunday Diva/Three From The Hip: 

Phyllis Hyman

In my own personal big gay church, there is a wing dedicated to what can only be described as...The True Divas. These are ones that may do many things in life, but from the moment they opened their mouths to sing they became the one thing they were meant to become: a true diva.

One such graceful, stylish, tragic siren?

Phyllis Hyman.

Folks called her 'The Goddess Of Love', a title she felt did not suit her.

But then, Phyllis had trouble when it came to letting love in.

She could be... difficult. Temperamental, as only a true diva can be.

But style? Class? Never a problem for this diva. There was nothing she couldn't wear, nothing she couldn't pull off.

And... with a voice for the ages, there was nothing the lady couldn't sing.

She conquered Broadway, the dancefloor, the boudoir, and the heart.

Such a talent, she came so close to the superstardom which alluded her and would have provided the validation she so desperately desired.

But circumstances seemed to constantly conspire against her; like the time her James Bond theme got cancelled at the last moment due to a lawsuit by the composer of the film's score.

Adding to the problem?

Her love life. A mess. She drifted from one doomed romance to another as fluidly as her sexuality allowed.

At the time of her untimely death, she had just ended a seven year on-and-off relationship with a woman and taken up with a new man who seemed destined to do her wrong.

She saw herself as a lonely lady and that ache, that desire - it seeped in and infused her music with a wisp of despair few can conjure.

Haunted by demons she would not name, her addictions to food, sedatives and booze didn't help the situation and, in fact, brought about her untimely end.

On the night she was to appear at The Apollo, for a performance that she had billed as her final. she was discovered in her apartment unconscious. Rushed to the hospital, it was too late. The booze and the pills had finally worked their ultimate magic and the lady was gone.

But, her magnificent voice lives on. She left a wealth of recorded material which current generations are rediscovering. 

Unfamiliar? Well, get to know her - her highs, her lows, her take on love.

Do your ears a favor - get to know the beauty of Phyllis Hyman.

The gospel according to her?

Well, here are a few personal recollections from those who knew, came to know, and revered 'The Goddess Of Love'.

"She was a lonely individual, which in turn enhanced the lonely vibes of a melody - if there was loneliness involved. She took on the sound of Nancy Wilson." - Thom Bell, songwriter, co-writer of' Old Friend

"Phyllis' voice would take you right out there on the clouds and float on that soft bed, and soar with the wind…. If you were blessed enough to have seen her Broadway performance of Sophisticated Ladies, the Ellington project, then you know how absolutely brilliant and stunning she was. She was a rare beauty, and in my estimation, one of the great voices of our time, along with being multi-talented. For those of you who fortunate enough to have her early works or any of her offerings, you possess a sound that is only heard once in a lifetime. Listen to the voice, the lyrics and understand the body of work Phyllis has left for us. " – Nancy Wilson, vocalist/actress

Working with Phyllis Hyman was an experience...to say the least...such a beautiful voice beyond compare...so rich in its tone and flavor; her voice was uniquely identifiable without a doubt. If you walked into a room with closed eyes and heard her sing one note, you knew that it was the voice of the great Phyllis Hyman. Phyllis Hyman was so statuesque...so regal...so Phyllis!" - Kenneth Gamble, producer/songwriter, co-writer of Living In Confusion

"My theory is that she finally hit that wall that she just didn't feel she could go through. Phyllis always felt that suicide was an option for her. We talked about it all the time."

"I know it was something on her mind. She had tried it twice before but hadn't succeeded. She would say to me, (life) was too much work. I always hoped she could reach a space where she would really truly have the desire to heal herself and manage her illness." - Glenda Gracia, Hyman's former manager

"A lot of folks I interviewed said they knew something was wrong."

"She thought if she let that mask fall down, the folks around her would no longer love her. I think there was a deep sense of shame that Phyllis struggled with . . . she knew she had not always been agreeable, that she had not always treated people well. I think she did have moments of clarity when she saw this."

"She fought so hard to remain in control, but the truth is that she wasn't. She would get so nervous. She would get so scared. She had a great fear of success because, deep down, she didn't feel that she really deserved it."

"If it was a lack of love that killed Phyllis, it was that she did not love herself. It wasn't for lack of a man or lack of love. If anything, it was for lack of self love . . . Only Phyllis Hyman could have healed herself. Only Phyllis Hyman could have fixed what was inside her, and she elected not to do that work." - Jason A. Michael, author of Strength of a Woman: The Phyllis Hyman Story

You Know How to Love Me - Phyllis Hyman

Living All Alone - Phyllis Hyman

Don't Wanna Change the World - Phyllis Hyman

And one last parting shot; 

Phyllis' own final words...

"I'm tired. I'm tired. Those of you that I love know who you are. May God bless you." 

- Phyllis Hyman

I Refuse To Be Lonely - Phyllis Hyman

(If you, or someone you know is struggling with mental health issues, reach out. There are agencies and people standing by to help. 

You are never alone.)