Sunday Diva/Three From The Hip:
Michelle Wolf
In my own personal big gay church, there is a wing dedicated to the Ladies Of Comedy. Theses are the gals who made us laugh and, on occasion, brought a tear to our eyes. They are visionaries, capturing aspects of the human condition while holding up a mirror to the world. Their characters, style, and phrases have helped form our daily vernacular in ways we are not even always aware of - but that is the power of comedy and the magic these ladies all possess. Breaking ground while breaking all the rules?
One such intellectual firebrand?
Michelle Wolf.
It's as if Bewitched's Mrs. Kravitz, Howdy Doody, and Albert Einstein somehow made a baby.
I adore this woman. Admire her, for her courage and strength.
Beyond clever. Beyond smart. Her brand of humor cuts with the precision of a meat cleaver being wielded by a Ninja surgeon.
She's one of the most potent comedy writers - ever. She doesn't rely on schtick. There's no gimmick. She simply shares her painfully unvarnished truth.
"I'm a standard overachiever."
"Honestly, I never really thought I'd be a comedian. But I did take an aptitude test in seventh grade - and this is 100 percent true - I took an aptitude test in seventh grade, and it said in my best profession was a clown or a mime."
"For eight years, all I cared about was track."
"I got a third-degree ankle sprain practicing long jump. I never fully recovered. That was my first heartbreak. I thought track was going to be something that was going to happen in my life. It never went in the direction I wanted it to, no matter how hard I tried."
"I always loved comedy, but in my mind, it wasn't a viable career option. I always thought, 'You go to college. You get a job, and then you pay off college.'"
"I was a kinesiology major in college, which is exercise science. Then, I was either going to get my Ph.D. or go to medical school, but I was kind of burned out after school."
"I was an athlete in college, and Wall Street likes athletes because they're very competitive people that are willing to do anything to win. So I got a job at Bear Stearns in the summer of 2007."
"I've been lucky enough to do a lot of very interesting things, and every time, I've been like, 'I want to put everything into this because I want to see how far I can go with it.'"
"I'm so lucky that I found comedy and that I get to do it for a living."
"Writing and telling jokes is my favorite thing to do, and I want to be able to do that forever."
"I think I'm a good joke writer. I'm also very scared that the last joke I wrote is the last joke I'll ever write."
"I always think about my jokes as like I'm driving down a street, trying to go into all the culs-de-sacs along the way. I'm just taking a thoughtful, weird journey."
"Very early on, I met this one comic who said if you're not doing stand-up every night, you're not doing it. And so I just kind of believed that and worked off that."
"Taking a night off from comedy to go on a date with someone I'm probably not going to like anyway sounds like the worst trade-off in my mind."
"Before stand-up, I'm not sure I even had a point of view."
"Comedy, in my opinion, is best when it's in the gray, and you're kind of pushing people's thoughts that they sort of had but never vocalized. And I think a joke is not good if someone says something, and immediately people are clapping because they're like, 'Yes! That is how I feel as well!'"
"It's important for people to, instead of automatically assuming everything the opposite side says is incorrect, you have to at least listen and see why someone might feel a certain way."
"I don't want to alienate anybody. If you're making a joke about men and men are laughing at it, it's a good joke."
Beyond clever. Beyond smart. Her brand of humor cuts with the precision of a meat cleaver being wielded by a Ninja surgeon.
She's one of the most potent comedy writers - ever. She doesn't rely on schtick. There's no gimmick. She simply shares her painfully unvarnished truth.
And there's no place she won't go. Nothing sacred. Nothing she won't share.
Does she almost hang herself? It would seem so, but never doubt her for a minute, for you'll never know where she's going... until she tells you're already there.
Does she almost hang herself? It would seem so, but never doubt her for a minute, for you'll never know where she's going... until she tells you're already there.
Does she get in trouble for it? You bet. For there's a certain segment of the population who can't stand her, but only because she dares to hold a mirror to their face. Not to confront them, she just wants to make sure they're still breathing.
If this diva stopped doing comedy this second, she will still have accomplished more than the dozens of others who still believe comedy is about telling jokes. She surpasses even Lenny Bruce as the most skilled wordsmith to ever stand behind a mic in front of a brick wall.
She gets it. She's relatable. She understands life. She sees it for what it is and shares it all with us.
May her freek flag wave forever. She's the cure for what ails us. Yes,we need Michelle Wolf.
And I, for one, hope the woman never stops talking.
The gospel according to her?
Here are three from the hip, dropping from her lips.
The topic?
"Honestly, I never really thought I'd be a comedian. But I did take an aptitude test in seventh grade - and this is 100 percent true - I took an aptitude test in seventh grade, and it said in my best profession was a clown or a mime."
"For eight years, all I cared about was track."
"I got a third-degree ankle sprain practicing long jump. I never fully recovered. That was my first heartbreak. I thought track was going to be something that was going to happen in my life. It never went in the direction I wanted it to, no matter how hard I tried."
"I always loved comedy, but in my mind, it wasn't a viable career option. I always thought, 'You go to college. You get a job, and then you pay off college.'"
"I was a kinesiology major in college, which is exercise science. Then, I was either going to get my Ph.D. or go to medical school, but I was kind of burned out after school."
"I was an athlete in college, and Wall Street likes athletes because they're very competitive people that are willing to do anything to win. So I got a job at Bear Stearns in the summer of 2007."
"I've been lucky enough to do a lot of very interesting things, and every time, I've been like, 'I want to put everything into this because I want to see how far I can go with it.'"
"Writing and telling jokes is my favorite thing to do, and I want to be able to do that forever."
"I think I'm a good joke writer. I'm also very scared that the last joke I wrote is the last joke I'll ever write."
"I always think about my jokes as like I'm driving down a street, trying to go into all the culs-de-sacs along the way. I'm just taking a thoughtful, weird journey."
"Very early on, I met this one comic who said if you're not doing stand-up every night, you're not doing it. And so I just kind of believed that and worked off that."
"Taking a night off from comedy to go on a date with someone I'm probably not going to like anyway sounds like the worst trade-off in my mind."
"Comedy, in my opinion, is best when it's in the gray, and you're kind of pushing people's thoughts that they sort of had but never vocalized. And I think a joke is not good if someone says something, and immediately people are clapping because they're like, 'Yes! That is how I feel as well!'"
"It's important for people to, instead of automatically assuming everything the opposite side says is incorrect, you have to at least listen and see why someone might feel a certain way."
"I don't want to alienate anybody. If you're making a joke about men and men are laughing at it, it's a good joke."
Getting Fired - Michelle Wolf
Kellyanne Conway's Artful Deception - Michelle Wolf
Titanic Explains How White Women Are The Problem
- Michelle Wolf
And one last parting shot...
"The more confident I am, the more daring I am."
"The jig is up: I'm not a nice lady."
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