Sunday Diva/Three From The Hip: Totie Fields

Sunday Diva/Three From The Hip: 

Totie Fields

In my own personal big gay church, there is a wing dedicated to the Ladies Of Comedy. Theses are the gals who made us laugh and, on occasion, brought a tear to our eyes. They are visionaries, capturing aspects of the human condition while holding up a mirror to the world. Their characters, style, and phrases have helped form our daily vernacular in ways we are not even always aware of - but that is the power of comedy and the magic these ladies all possess. Breaking ground while breaking all the rules.

One such powerhouse?

Totie Fields!

You're gonna see lips, like you've never seen before,

You're gonna see hips, you'll remember ever more,

You're gonna see passion, that'll set your pulses on fire!

You're gonna see fashion, not many women acquire.

And when you put them all together, what do you see?

Fascinating, intoxicating, scintillating, captivating - stunning me!

You're gonna see eyes; like you've never dreamed before,

You're gonna see thighs, that could start another war.

And when you put them all together, what do you see?

You see adorable, wonderful, beautiful, sexy me!

- Stunning Me from Totie Field's Las Vegas revue, 1971

Fields was born Sophie Feldman in Hartford, Connecticut. She started singing in Boston clubs while still in high school, taking the stage name of Totie Fields. The name 'Totie', was a childhood nickname, due to the way she'd pronounce 'Sophie' as a child.

She married George William Johnston, Jr. in 1950, and was the mother of two daughters.

Fields gained fame during the 1960's and 70's.Her first big break came when Ed Sullivan booked her on his show after seeing her perform at the Copacabana in New York. She made multiple appearances on The Ed Sullivan Show, The Mike Douglas Show, and The Merv Griffin Show. In addition, she appeared as a special guest star on the Carol Burnette Show and during the fifth season  of Here’s Lucy starring Lucille Ball.

In 1972, Fields wrote a humorous diet book titled I Think I’ll Start on Monday: The Official 8½ Oz. Mashed Potato Diet. She also considered producing a Totie Fields line of clothing for larger-sized women - offering sizes 3, 5 and 7. "Mentally it will make us feel better," she said.

During the last years of her life, due to a some botched cosmetic surgery, Fields experienced numerous medical issues, including phlebitis, diabetes, and the amputation of her left leg. In addition she developed breast cancer, underwent a mastectomy, and had two heart attacks. Throughout all this, she continued to work the showrooms of Vegas, along with the talk show and game show circuit. 

In 1978, during the last year of her life, Fields was voted 'Entertainer of the Year' and 'Female Comedy Star of the Year' by the American Guild of Variety Artists.

The gospel according to her?

Well, here are three from the hip, dropping from her lips.

The Topic: Schtick!

"I've been on a diet for two weeks and all I've lost is two weeks."

"Happiness is getting a brown gravy stain on a brown dress."

"I exercise daily to keep my figure. I keep patting my hand against the bottom of my chin. It works too. I have the thinnest fingers in town."

"I go for bagels and cream cheese. My ruination is that I'd rather eat a loaf of bread than a steak. I know I'm never going to be thin again and I'm, happy. I think I'm precious at this weight."

"Shirley Temple had charisma as a child. But it cleared up as an adult."

"I've waited all my life to say this... I weigh less than Elizabeth Taylor!"

"Lucy darling, you have been a big star for many, many years and it must kill ya to see a young kid like me stepping into your shoes."

"Do you like to shop? Ya like to bargain? I do. The other day I bought 20 pairs of panty hose for fifteen cents a piece. They had the seam running up the front. What can you do? I figured I'd learn to walk backwards."

"I break all the rules and wear everything. Ruffles, ostrich feathers, fox coats. You look fat in fox anyway, so if you start fat, you only look a little fatter."

The Ed Sullivan Show - Totie Fields

1967

Interview - Totie Fields

1972

 

I'm Always Chasing Rainbows - Totie Fields

MDA Telethon, 1976

And one last parting shot...

"I come right out and say, ‘I'm fat!’ This deprives the wise alecks from mouthing loud asides all night, ‘Gosh, she's fat,’ as they glimpse me in a tent dress. They're left with nothing to say."