Sunday Diva/Three From The Hip: Karen Carpenter

Sunday Diva/Three From The Hip: 

Karen Carpenter

In my own, personal, big gay church, there is a wing dedicated to Those of the Heart. These are the singers, songwriters and muses who have spent a lifetime capturing various aspects of the human condition. Frequently, due to the whims of the music industry, their lives were not always their own... perhaps they fell out of fashion, but they persevered... ultimately remaining true to their roles as seers of the heart.

One such spirit?

Karen Carpenter

Forty years ago today, there wasn't a gay in the whole world whose heart wasn't just a bit heavier. We'd lost one of our favorite voices; it was one we identified with... especially when she sang of loneliness or the possibility of love passing her by.

I remember hearing the news and not wanting to believe it possible.

There will never be another Karen Carpenter. Yes, of course, we're all unique... but she? She was something truly special.

When she sang Close To Me, I always felt as if she could have been singing about herself:

On the day that you were born the angels got together,
And decided to create a dream come true
So they sprinkled moon dust in your hair of gold and starlight in your eyes of blue

And, yes, her eyes were not blue. But you get my meaning.

It was there in her voice. All that magic. That thing we all could identify with. Equal parts happy, parts sad.

Looking back, there were clues... but we, the public? We had no idea.

Of course, The Carpenters had ceased including photos on the their album covers. And their sound had fallen out of favor. However, every long-term career has its ups and downs; I'm fairly certain they would have found a means of remaining musically relevant.

But when the news broke on February 4th, 1983, that our diva was gone?

Well, life ceased to make a great deal of sense for awhile. Her death and its cause, it caught us all off-guard.

She'd always seemed so happy. That smile; always in place.

The thing is... her voice was so beautiful - and her image so carefully managed - why would we ever suspect that what we were being sold was not the whole truth? How could there be an opposite side to her Disneyland-like image?

How could she have been that unhappy... while we remained clueless?

I think any true fan struggles with a bit of guilt when it comes to Karen's death.

At worst? Maybe a song was a bit too middle-of-the-road, or schmaltzy, or old-school. But Karen? Karen was always perfection. Delivering time after time. We came to expect it of her.

We'd convinced her and those behind the scenes, that perfection was what we demanded.

Well, that's an awful lot to live up to. And impossible, too.

So... something had to give.

And it was her heart.

In some ways, I think that Karen Carpenter died for our sins... our demand that she not change, that she always remain perfect.

I know, based on things that I've read, that circumstance behind the scenes were far from ideal. That's why those smiles grew tighter and tighter as her career continued. Family issues. Industry pressure. Sibling rivalry. Control issues.

They all played a part.

I miss Karen Carpenter almost every day.

Growing up, she was the ideal.

This side of things, I now know that ideals are lovely... but that nothing can remain so forever.

I'm merely glad that she's left the music she has.

That voice? It's ageless and for the ages.

As for Richard? For many years I blamed him. But the fact is, he was dealing with all the same pressures, so I don't feel that way anymore. I think he made some unfortunate choices when it came to his sister, but that's for him to live with.

Ultimately? Karen made her own choices.

One of which was to share her gift with us all.

And for that? We are fortunate.

The gospel according to her?

Well, here are three from the hip, dropping from her lips.

The Topic: Being A Carpenter

"People never think of entertainers as being human. When you walk out on stage, the audience thinks, 'Nothing can go wrong with them.' We get sick and we have headaches just like they do. When we are cut, we bleed."

"I have a harder time finding somebody. The problem is we were growing professionally during the years most people were concentrating on being a person."

"I'm just afraid I'm gonna miss it all... being married... being a mother."

"It's kinda nice to be remembered by your peers and your fans, because you can achieve a lot of success and be a creep too! But we try to be nice, just normal people."

"The image we have would be impossible for Mickey Mouse to maintain. We're just... normal people."

We've Only Just Begun - The Carpenters

Rainy Days And Mondays - The Carpenters

Touch Me, When We're Dancing - The Carpenters

And one last parting shot...

"Not enough people in this world are happy."