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Friday, April 23, 2021

Friday Fun: Happy National Picnic Day!


Friday Fun: 
Happy National Picnic Day!

Oooh. A picturesque picnic. How romantic.

This should be right up Mistress Maddie's alley; nobody knows how to throw a better spread. 

(Wait. Did I phrase that right?)

You give him a sunny day, a nice pastoral setting and thirty minutes, he will be serving up something photo-ready in a hot sec. He's got such a fine sense of style and great taste (or so Cali-boi keeps telling us). 

Me? Not so much. 

Once, in my youth, I went on a picnic with my then-boyfriend. All I brought was a box of saltines and a can of tuna fish. Guess who had the audacity to break up with me that very afternoon? 

Well, dammit. I was on a budget.

(True story!)

But that was then and this is now. There will be no shortage of things for you to feast on today.

Though there are a few rules you should be aware of...

- Turf wars occasionally break out, so be sure to get there early to reserve your 'spot'. 

- There is no such thing as an uninvited guest at an outdoor event. Be welcoming and polite to all comers. (Though you may need to remind them to clean up after themselves.)

- No need to bring extra. Dudes typically like to bring their own meat. They should also provide their own condiments.

- Enjoying a wiener roast? If you start a fire, be responsible. Do all that you can to extinguish it before leaving the area, even if that means spitting on it. Or, as a last resort, try peeing on it. In my experience that usually takes care of it. Especially if all guests stand in a circle.

- Keep your buns sealed tightly until time of use to ensure they are fresh and moist.

- When tossing a salad outdoors, be sure do so in a clean and safe manner. Otherwise you run the risk of attracting bugs.

- Use oil sparingly. No mayo.

- When passing around dishes, be sure not to double dip (unless explicitly told that's acceptable). 

- Pick up after yourself. Whatever you bring into the park, leaves with you. 

- Be sure to bring a clean blanket. If you forgot; a picnic table, hammock or lounge chair will do nicely.

 - Don't feel bad if you leave a stain on your host's blanket. It's something to be more or less expected while 'picnicking'. 

- If using a picnic table, be sure to wipe it down before and after use.  

- Bring plenty of wet wipes. Keeping things clean will keep the party going. 

- Bring plenty of water. You can use it to clean up and stay hydrated.

- Sunblock is always a good idea. When 'picnicking', the sun has a way of finding those places it has never had the opportunity to shine before. 

Well, that's all I can think of right now. If you have a special rule while 'picnicking', please leave it in the comments section. I'm sure I've overlooked something and am always willing to learn new practices.

I certainly look forward to doing my fair share of 'picnicking' this summer at the prairie in Golden Valley. 

And now, onto the fun!

Hope you brought your appetites and plenty of napkins because we will be serving it up hot and saucy today. 

Don't worry about getting dirty (that's what wet wipes are for.)

Aww, don't be shy. 

Throw down a blanket and dig in!

--- ---

Wishing you all the very best of people, places and things.
Be of good cheer, dears. 
Better days ahead...
- uptonking from Wonderland Burlesque

Stone Soul Picnic - The 5th Dimension























































































Picnic - The McGuire Sisters

7 comments:

Phil said...

This is a brilliant post. The words are amazingly well written and the pictures are, well, hot and saucy as you say.

National Picnic Day seems to be a US thing, but there is also an International Picnic Day on 18 June and here in the UK we have National Picnic Week from 19-27 June. So, we can all come again!

Thank you for making my day!

Xersex said...

everything is so deliciously two-way! I foresee a fun picnic, and hopefully crowded!

Sixpence Notthewiser said...

Oh, when you said 'weiner' I was there. Well, that and that every guy brings his meat.
I think sex outdoors is very liberating. I have had sex outdoors only a few times but the feeling is fantastic.
I love your innuendo.

XOXO

whkattk said...

Whew... Some of those dudes know how to picnic in style, eh? Good tips from you, too, on how to prepare for and enjoy the proper picnic. I've only picnic-ed once in a park. But the beach is another story. There, one must worry about sand in the buns, so bring a large enough blanket. Or be prepared to wash your wiener really well in the water. Kisses!

SickoRicko said...

You certainly have served up an excellent spread.

anne marie in philly said...

too cold for a picnic today round here. but look at all those nice tasty buns, ready for a sausage, or a wiener, or a kielbasa!

Mistress Maddie said...

I would never do a picnic in April...much to cool yet, unless of course I had two bear to keep me and my buns warmed. And these picnic tips sound like a Pam Demic pamphlet. Have you two been talking?

I would picnic with you as long as you bring the meats.