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Tuesday, June 22, 2021

Wonderland Burlesque's Indispensable Quiz

Wonderland Burlesque's 
Indispensable Quiz

Time to use your imagination... remember? It's that thing we used to use before porn became so readily available on the internet?

Here's the scene:

You're going to be shut up in a room for an undetermined amount of time. There are basic furnishings and a bathroom. There is a television, a DVD Player and a CD player. There is no internet, so leave that laptop and cell phone at home. There will be food supplied, but your favorite may not be available. You will be supplied with a basic uniform. Any medications needed will be supplied.

You will get to take one item from the places in your home listed below. You don't have to worry about a tooth brush or any common use item (knife, pen, paper, comb, etc.) Concentrate instead on that special brand or item that makes your life the joy-filled romp insipid movies and sitcoms keep insisting it should be.

Think of it as packing for a trip you may not return from.

Yes, today, we get to look at what is truly indispensable to us.

This could be an opportunity to read that book you've never gotten to, or spend quality time with a favorite movie or musical artist. Your comfort should be your number one consideration when choosing these dozen items - one from each location. I want you to imagine placing them in a large suitcase.

Explain your answers or don't. You know me... I'll be oversharing per usual.


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1/ Bathroom:

This is a tough one. Just one personal care item? Torn between my favorite lotion and my favorite soap.

Going with: one bar of Heaven Scent Soaps. It's all natural. It's all organic. It lathers like crazy. It's great for your skin - especially if you have issues with commercial soaps. 

And they smell wonderful. I'm going with a bar of Cucumber/Melon.

You know how you read the ingredients of a commercial soap and there are all these chemicals and ingredients you can't pronounce? Not the case with Heaven Scent Soaps. Basic ingredients are used and printed right on the label, so you know exactly what you're getting.  

I actually stopped buying shaving cream and started using the soap instead. My skin is all the better for it.

2/ Cleaning Supply Cupboard:

Again. Torn. Bleach water is my go to, but I am actually going to pack some SoftScrub with Bleach. 

Nothing cleans porcelain like this product. You have to be careful when using it, as it will bleach the color out of whatever it touches. 

But, if I want to do a deep clean? This is the stuff. I smooth it on, leave it and then come back to wipe it away. Leaves my bathroom sparkling clean and smelling fresh! (Yes, like bleach, but then... I like bleach!)

3/ Pantry:

Aldi's has these 20 gram protein bars that I can't live without. I try not to rely on them, but they are such a great pick-me-up, and fairly guilt free. When I am at the prairie, they are a perfect means of keeping my energy and blood sugar levels in check. They are also reasonably priced - they used to be a steal, but then Aldi's got wise that they had priced them far below market value and increased the price from $3.69 to $4.96 (now $5.69) per box of six. Still, even at that price, a great value.

So, one could argue that these are little more than adult candy bars - and I get that. However, when I read the ingredients, I know what every thing is except 'soy lecithin' and, of course, the term "natural flavors" - what does that mean?  There is sugar in the cocoa coating, but most of the ingredients are certified organic. In the end? Twenty grams of protein and only 290 calories. 

And it satisfies. As in, meal replacement. 

The only other problem? 

I am a little allergic to peanuts (they make me choke a little), but I love peanut butter, so... I just make sure I drink plenty of water with them and avoid eating them if I'm going to be singing. 

4/ Refrigerator:

I want to cheat and claim I made homemade veggie soup, so I would take that. And, I actually did make some this weekend, but it doesn't seem fair, as I don't do it all the time.

One thing that is always in my fridge these days? Carbonated flavored water, or Fizzy Water, as I like to call it. I like most of the fruit flavors. 

No calories. No sugar. No juice. Just fizzy, fruity fun. 

The only downside? Those 'natural flavors'. I saw a piece, I think it was on 60 Minutes, about what those are all about. Seems a lab somewhere takes elements and combine them in such a way as to create a specific flavor... and it gets incredibly specific like - 4-Day Ripe Tangerine, or Dew-Covered Strawberry. Food companies buy the rights to these and slap some kind of exclusive copyright thing on them and use these 'natural flavors' to ensure that their products always taste exactly the same way. For instance, rather than have an orange juice that is dependent on the taste of that season's oranges, they filter in those 'natural flavors' and it turns out tasting exactly like it has every year since their introduction. 

A little creepy. A little sci-fi. And I keep waiting for a story about the health issues associated with such manipulation... like maybe taste bud cancer? But, these are made of elements found in nature... in a lab... to disguise the taste of our food... 

I dunno. What you gonna do? Eat organic and live with inconsistency. 

5/ Kitchen Drawer:

I know that there's a knife there, but I have no choice on this one... I have to bring my veggie knife. I bought one from a woman who was having one of those Pampered Chef parties (in lieu of attending). I love that damn thing - and one needs to be super careful when using it because, yes, it will literally cut a bitch. 

It makes creating salads and preparing soup ingredients so much less of a pain in the ass. A good knife makes all the difference. Let's hope I never have to use it on anything but veggies. 

An aside: my second choice are my kitchen scissors. I can't eat salads without chopping the leafy parts up with a pair of scissors. I used to resent/hate eating salads... but cutting up the greens? It makes all the difference to me. I hated trying to shove a whole spinach leaf dripping with dressing into my craw. How awkward and messy... and potentially embarrassing when in the company of others. With a pair of kitchen scissors? No more fear. No more hassle. 

Know what? Changed my mind. Knife stays. I eat salads almost every day for dinner. Kitchen scissors it is.  

6/ Linen Closet:

When I travel I like to bring my own pillow cases. Dumb? Not really. I used to bring the whole pillow, but after a certain age and when flying, that gets embarrassing. But, when staying at a hotel or other people's houses, I don't like to put my face on fabric I don't know. I don't know how it was cleaned (or when). And, I mean, considering I am going to be drooling all over it, what difference does it make... but then that is part of the reason, too... so other people don't have to deal with my sleep drool. 

It's also a matter of comfort. And a couple of pillow cases don't take up much room in your backpack or carryon. On the other hand, getting an entire pillow through TSA? Can be a bit troublesome and embarrassing. 

Comfy bed pillows make for happy, confident, contented sleepers.

7/ Clothes Rack/Drawer:

I'm bringing my well-worn, washed way too many times, white t-shirts. 

I love them. Love sleeping in them. They are so soft and lightweight. If I could, I would wear them everywhere.

I fear when I am ninety-something, that will be the case. I'll wear them out in public and to family events. 

And I hate breaking in new ones in. It takes a good year before they've been worn enough and the fabric has relaxed enough for my comfort level. 

Some manufacturer should specialize in broken-in tees. They make for the best sleep wear.

8/ Shoe Rack:

Going with my faux-suede, faux-fur lined moccasin-style slippers. I adore those things. Since I have been working from home? That's all I wear around the house. I have one pair at my house and one pair at The Boyfriend's. Sometimes I forget I have them on and will be out gardening in them, or will walk across the street to my Mom's wearing them. Once? I was driving to the grocery store and thought... 'Oh, the clutch feels all wrong, what is going on?'

I was wearing my slippers. 

I turned around, went home and put real shoes on.

I am all for comfort... but I refuse to be one of those people. And you know it's true. 

People will wear the weirdest stuff when grocery shopping.

9/ Book Shelf:

Ugh. I have so many books that I have put off reading. I have been tackling a few of them during Covid. I read a 'hard' book and then a few frothy, light, modern things.

I am going to tackle House of Sand and Fog by Andre Dubus III. My youngest sister gave it to me. It is with a sense of foreboding that would take it on, as I understand it is not the lightest of reading. Maybe I'm wrong. 

I guess it is time. 

10/ CD/DVD Collection:

It will be a CD. Which? Only one! For who knows how long? 

I want to cheat and bring one of those box sets... with multiple CDs. But, no. 

You know what? It has to be something happy. That will cheer me up. 

There is one song that does that. It is the unofficial theme song for the sitcom that has been my life (oh-so many laughs *cough-cough). 

So I am bringing a CD reissue of Melissa Manchester's Help Is On The Way. This album tanked when it first came out, because Clive Davis didn't believe in it and there was no promotion, but it is stellar earth mother Manchester. 

And she didn't even write everything on the album. She does a version of Michael Franks awesome Monkey See, Monkey Do and a nice take on the Steely Dan standard, Dirty Work

But it's the lead track that gets my heart soaring, Talkin' To Myself. She wrote it and it is just this cute story song about putting up with all the characters and events in your life but having the best company you can have with you always - yourself. It's hopeful and uplifting - like life is filled with such promise if you put everything into perspective. 

It is a very old school song - a bit clunky, but I adore. You have no idea how many times I have listened to it and imagined the opening credits of my own personal sitcom. Give the song a listen and you will see why. It came out in 1976 - and reminds me of television theme songs from that time period.

Every aspect about the song is lovely, including the arrangement - and when it soars off at the end, I just imagine myself sitting on the edge of a beautiful cliff as the camera helicopters up, up and away, like a balloon. 

It's a great energy booster. 

I really should play that song every morning when I get up...

11/ Living Room:

My guitar. 

I'd take one of my keyboards, but... awkward. I really should spend more time with my guitar. So this is the perfect opportunity. 

12/ Garage/Storage Room/Basement:

I could cheat and bring my old I-Pod. It's loaded with tons of old dance music and it still works. It also comes with a tiny pair of speakers that actually put out reasonable sound - at the beginning of the lock-down I unpacked it and used to work out to. 

So, yes... I am cheating and bringing that. It's very small and won't take up any room in the suitcase. And I will get to relive all those dance songs... which is a great way to pass the time - dancing by yourself! No one is watching and you can exhaust yourself, expend anxious energy, and get a work out in. That's so many wins - I have to do it!

And speaking of dance music... did you happen to check out Miss Maddie's totally outrageous playlist? Every track had my jaw dropping further... such a maven of good taste serving up equally tasty beats. In need of a good time? Then click that link - your feet will thank you later!

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And there you have it! 

Hopefully, we wont' be stuck in that room for long, but this way, at least we'll have a few of  the comforts of home. 

Okay, now it's your turn.

You know what to do! 

Leave your answers in the comments section, or post on your blog and leave a link here. 

Adore reading your answers and getting to know you a little better.

As always, thank you for reading... and participating. 
Talkin' To Myself - Melissa Manchester

Pillow Talk - Sylvia


Sixpence Notthewiser said...

Oh shit.
Down to the essentials, huh?
So it'd be soap. I need soap. White Ivory soap will do. And I think i'll go with bleach too. That shit cleans EVERYTHING.
For the pantry, maybe some of those breakfast cookies Aldi has. They're addictive. A crockpot in the refrigerator sounds about right. In the kitchen drawer? A spork. And a knife.
In the linen closet, clean towels. Can't live without them. For clothes, white t-shirts and my trusty Levi's. Shoes? My Chucks. Book? Memoirs of Hadrian. Yourcenar has always been a fav CD? Billie. Lady in Satin.
Living room? My sofa? I can use it to take naps if I need to..


Bob said...

1/ Bathroom:
I’ll go with a new addition: Rosemary Hand Soap. I love that scent.
2/ Cleaning Supply Cupboard:
Resolve is a must when you have cats who hairball on the rugs.
3/ Pantry:
Panko breadcrumbs. So many uses.
4/ Refrigerator:

Sweet tea, though not nearly as sweet as what Southerners call Sweet tea,
5/ Kitchen Drawer:
A good spatula, to sauté, stir fry, cook an egg, or swat Carlos on the ass.
6/ Linen Closet:

Nice fluffy towels.
7/ Clothes Rack/Drawer:

I, too, love a good T. I have them organized into plain T’s of every color, and long-sleeved T’s of every color, and the few T’s with artwork, logos, designs on them that I keep mostly as souvenirs.
8/ Shoe Rack:
I love all my shoes, though with COVID the nice shoes haven’t seen much action; it’s been slip-ons, flip-flops, slippers, and tennis shoes lately … or no shoes at all!
9/ Book Shelf:
I have several on my nightstand; an Obama; a Pete Buttigieg book, and his husband Chasten’s book. All are waiting until I finish re-reading Caleb Carr’s ‘The Alienist.’ I guess I’d pick Chasten’s book.
10/ CD/DVD Collection:
So many; so many types ands styles and artists. Perhaps a Linda Ronstadt CD, called a Retrospective, that has so many oldies I’ll be singing like mad!
11/ Living Room:
Artwork; I have two watercolors of Native American chiefs painted by an old friend. They bring me joy.
12/ Garage/Storage Room/Basement:
Took chest? I mean, if something breaks. I dunno about this one.

Lastly … Tuxedo must be one of the things that comes along if I go by myself without the hubby.

Jimmy said...

My essential is a toothbrush. I have spent tens of thousands in order to keep them and that is that!
Cleaning supplies, When my house starts looking dirty, I take my glasses off. Then call someone to clean. With covid and no one allowed in the house til now, you can imagine its state.
Pantry, The closets are bare except for hurricane supplies.
Fridge, Coke Zero
kitchen drawer, Wha??????
Linen closet, A big beach towel
clothes drawer, I only wear 5" year round. I'm a short person so I don't look like an obvious slut.
Shoes, I normally only wear sandals, However, I have TWO pair of a shoe called "Cushies" which are not made anymore. I would have to opt for the khaki pair.
Books, NO BOOKS!
CD, one my other half made for me of Tina and Chaka Khan.
Living room, Sofa.

Mistress Maddie said...

Who are we kidding. If I have the much free time, Id be sleeping and jacking off ever more!!!!!!!!!!!!! But Im game.

Bathroom: scented body lotion. For moisturizing and yes jo!

Cleaning Supply Cupboard: I d go too with a product with bleach in it.

Pantry: my nut assortment. I love snaking on nuts! The real ones!!!!!

Refrigerator: CHEESE!

Kitchen Drawer: I would say knife as well.

Linen Closet: I'd say my 550 thread count sheets. SO SOFT! It's like sleeping on a worn tee shirt.

Clothes Rack/Drawer: underwear. Screw the uniform. Id just wear underwear or be naked.

Shoe Rack: converse all stars. They'd look sexy with just wearing underwear don't you think?

Book Shelf: The Naked Civil Servant

CD/DVD Collection: I would grab one of my brit com cd's of one season since we can't have the box set damn it. Probably Waiting for God.

Living Room: I'd grab a coffee table book. Hey, everything else is way to large to bring.

Garage/Storage Room/Basement: Nothing. If it's in in there... its there for a die! LMAO!!!!!

But who are we kidding. I'd j/o the whole time. It's my go to when I get bored...... maybe I should have grabbed the cum towel from the bedroom?

whkattk said...

Still struggling to type... Kisses!

SickoRicko said...

Such an extensive collection you have.

Mistress Maddie said...

And Upton...thank you so much for compliment!!!! And to think, I almost didn't do that post...and it proved a crowd favorite, on the blog and at the Woods. I have part two coming next weekend. Thank you for your input and glad I made a jaw drop over something else for a change! Your a dear.