Wonderland Burlesque's
The Parenting Trap Quiz
Who were they, to be given all this power over us? And what was it like growing up beneath their frequently benevolent, sometimes steely gaze?
Let's climb aboard the memory machine and take a look at our parents; their methods and means and learn a little bit about what it all means to us, today.
1/ Did your Mom every attempt to cut your hair following directions in a magazine?
Yes. Thank you, McCall's magazine! She sat me, outside, on a bar stool one day when I was 10, with a towel wrapped around my shoulders. My maternal grandmother used to cut my hair, but I no longer wanted what was then called a 'butch' haircut, which meant your head was buzzed to an eighth of an inch with a set of hair clippers. I was in fifth grade when I announced that I was growing my hair out. My Grandmother declined to cut long hair, so my Mom took it upon herself to learn how. My hair had grown to just below my ears, so it was time to do something about it.
Each year my Mom would purchase the minimum package and distribute those photos to family members.
When asked about my hair?
She told people I did 'that' to myself.
2/ What was your parent's approach to disciplining you? Did they spank? Ground? Put baby in a corner?
Growing up, my Dad was absent, even when he was there. Due to the size of our family (5 kids), he worked a lot. The only discipline I recall him meting out was at the direction of my Mother... my hormonally-imbalanced, slightly crazed and terrorized Mother. She had five kids in five years. So, her body never recovered from the previous kid before it was being burdened with another. It took menopause to straighten it all out. On top of that? Her childhood makes mine look like a life lived at Disneyland. Someday I will share her story, but not today.
Saturday mornings after cartoons were always the worst (and the most predictable). She would enlist all of us to clean house, save my older brother, who managed to escape early on, as he always had some practice he had to attend. My three sisters and I, on the other hand were treated to being ordered about, then screamed at when things were not being done to her liking, and then? All hell would break loose. Hair pulling, hitting, slapping, and getting thrown down a flight of stairs were commonplace at my house. That was everyday life at my house; a house my Mom, initially, rarely left, except to go to church.
And heaven help you if you actually did anything wrong. Or she was alone and drinking. Then? Things got weird.
It's taken me more time than I care to admit to 'get over it.' And I have, though things like night terrors still persist and I tend to have that kind of PTSD where you emotionally over react to certain stimuli.
My Mom and I? We get along well. Have made our peace. I think she's a lovely woman, but still one that you want to remain on the right side of. She can still push my buttons like no one else, but she's careful not to, for, now, at her age? She knows that means I will withdraw... and while not the only sibling in the picture... I am the biggest contributor to the state of her welfare.
3/ Every family has/had a go-to meal - something quick and easy that you ate with regularity. What was yours?
Hot beans and wieners on white bread smeared with margarine.
Crackers and milk - crumpled up soda crackers with milk poured on top.
Popcorn.
My mom would make omelets and we would put in the weirdest stuff - like raisins.
We ate this stuff a lot.
Yeah, we did not always eat well when I was young.
4/ Did your parents entertain? Go to parties? Dance?
When we lived on the farm, I do remember them having parties. Many of you are too young to know about these, but for those who do... remember those glass plate sets that came four per box and had a little place on them to place the matching coffee cup? They were shaped like leaves or a paisley? My Mom would save Green Stamps and buy things like lamps and dishes. She bought a bunch of those sets and had a cocktail party one night. I think it was mostly family - brothers and sisters, their spouses and a few neighboring farmers.
When we lived on the farm, I do remember them having parties. Many of you are too young to know about these, but for those who do... remember those glass plate sets that came four per box and had a little place on them to place the matching coffee cup? They were shaped like leaves or a paisley? My Mom would save Green Stamps and buy things like lamps and dishes. She bought a bunch of those sets and had a cocktail party one night. I think it was mostly family - brothers and sisters, their spouses and a few neighboring farmers.
I know on New Years Eve, my folks always went out. Sometimes to bars to work as bartenders, bar backs or my Mom would serve cocktails. But I have photos of them in funny hats, with drinks in hand at various bars having a lovely time.
They also never missed an opportunity to play cards or go polka dancing. In fact, our whole family was always present at the annual polka festival. It was a long weekend and we would camp or just go up for one day. We all had matching outfits and would dance with each other and strangers. I remember the adults being intoxicated and the whole scene feeling very surreal.
5/ What kind of music did your parents play? Favorite artists?
My parents loved polka music, so The Irish Unicorns and The Chmielewski Funtime Band played a lot.
They also loved country music. Lots of Dolly Parton, Loretta Lynn, Tammy Wynette, Jody Miller, Lynne Anderson, Tennessee Ernie Ford, Patsy Cline, Glenn Campbell and my Dad's favorite - Charlie Pride. Mixed in - Andy Williams, The Carpenters, Nancy Sinatra, and Jesus Christ Superstar.
I wish I still had all those 45's.
For a time, before we all got involved in after school activities, we lived for television. Until I got overly involved in theatre, I was glued to the tube from 7:00 to 9:30 pm nightly. We watched all the Norman Lear sitcoms and the MTM sitcoms. Carol Burnette was a must see, as was Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom. My Dad liked westerns. I remember watching Bonanza and Gunsmoke. I remember Little House on The Prairie, and The Waltons.
7/ As a family did you ever... go to a drive-in movie? Or a live music concert? Or ?
Polka Festival was a live concert of sorts. We went every year. And I do think we went to a drive-in one night. We brought our own popcorn and I remember sitting outside the car so I could see the movie. It was not something age appropriate. No theatre. And if we went to a movie in a theatre, my Mom dropped us off and went and shopped by herself.
We went to a lot of parades. My Dad was a veteran and marched a lot. He took it very seriously. We kids would march either as scouts or in our high school marching band.
8/ Did you go on family vacations? What did you do/where did you go?
Yes. To Rice Lake State Park. Where we would camp outdoors for a week. It was always a mixed bag. If the weather was good, we could all escape except for mealtimes. I spent a lot of time listening to other people's radios down by the lake, arguing with my older brother, and exploring all the outhouses and latrines throughout the park.
Yes. To Rice Lake State Park. Where we would camp outdoors for a week. It was always a mixed bag. If the weather was good, we could all escape except for mealtimes. I spent a lot of time listening to other people's radios down by the lake, arguing with my older brother, and exploring all the outhouses and latrines throughout the park.
If the weather was bad. Heaven help us all. My Mom would be in a terrible mood, picking fights with whomever made the mistake of engaging her attention.
Our final family vacation was a trip to Disneyland, when we all traveled to L.A. for my oldest brothers first (of three) wedding. I sang all the music for the wedding and it was a huge church. The Lennon Sisters were there. The next day, we all dressed in white bellbottom pants with a similar plain, primary-colored top. With our blonde hair we looked like one of those singing families that would pop up on variety shows hosted by Andy Williams and the likes. I was a freshman in college and it marked the end of my innocence. Shortly after, I would meet the actor from the Guthrie who was my first boyfriend and my life and personality would ever be the same.
That was my Mom's job. Although, I don't remember her doing it much. Ferdinand the Bull is my all-time favorite. Although I also like this story about a horse who wore pajamas (and was an imaginary friend) and this one about a witch who lived in the chimney of an old house in which a lady wanted to open a tea shop. In the end, the witch and the lady compromised and it was a very cute.
10/ Did your parents ever help you with your homework?
I remember my Mom typed my report on Marilyn Monroe. And that's it. We were very much on our own. She always had art supplies on hands - arts and crafts junk that occupied cupboards and drawers which we would use for school projects or summer fun... but we were on our own. Oddly, I never struggled in school. Even math, which I hated. I managed to do well enough in to make the honor roll semester after semester.
I remember my Mom typed my report on Marilyn Monroe. And that's it. We were very much on our own. She always had art supplies on hands - arts and crafts junk that occupied cupboards and drawers which we would use for school projects or summer fun... but we were on our own. Oddly, I never struggled in school. Even math, which I hated. I managed to do well enough in to make the honor roll semester after semester.
I guess its because I read so much, spent a lot of time in libraries and listened to the radio. Although it more than likely had to do with that part of me that had this desire to please adults and get their attention.
In 4th Grade, I invited three friends - all of whom turned out (eventually) to be gay. One went on to run around with the popular kids, one would become a member of the Maranatha youth group (basically a cult), and one would end up taking a lot of drugs and disappearing.
In 8th Grade, I invited the guys I would eventually form a band with (we would have a huge falling out in our Sophomore year of college and never speak to one another again), and one who became a priest.
My Mom would be on her best behavior, because she knew that the kids would go home and be asked all sorts of questions about what our family was like.
So that was nice.
My parents came and rescued me from L.A. when my doctor contacted them and told them it was time for me to 'go home'. Things did not look good. And my Mom was still a bit on the nuts side. My Dad would play gin and Yahtzee with me.
And my Mom... she wanted to control the situation. I had home health aides who would come in and check my IV ports and change out my meds. I remember once during a blizzard, my IV would not work and my Mom actually moved around with the IV bag, as if it was the antenna on a TV and she was trying to get good reception, and then she stood over me trying to gently press the fluid into my veins; she was so terrified I was going to die. I remember thinking it was crazy and very touching.
Well, it obviously all worked out well. I happened to find just the right doctor who had all the answers, but I will never forget how hard the whole thing was on my parents - and it was - nor will I ever forget their generosity and kindness.
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That's all I have for today.
I'm sure this won't be the only quiz we do about family.
Now it's your turn. Leave your answers in the comments section or post them on your blog and leave a link here.
Thank you for participating and reading!
Opening Sequence of The Parent Trap (1961)
Annette Funicello and Tom Sands
Let's Get Together - Hayley Mills
The Parent Trap (1961)
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5 comments:
Blogger ate my quiz AGAIN!
I had the best answers too!
That's twice!
1/ Did your Mom every attempt to cut your hair following directions in a magazine?
Never. My father was Air Force, so we got buzz cuts every summer until I started high school, and then one of two “regular” barber cuts during the year. If hair so much as touched the ear it as time for the shears!
2/ What was your parent's approach to disciplining you? Did they spank? Ground? Put baby in a corner?
My father’s voice was enough. I don’t recall ever being spanked, but there were punishments like being grounded or sent to your room, or having things taken away as punishment. We grew up I in a cul de sac, and once my sister, brother and I were playing with the neighbor kids. My mother appeared at our front door:
“Jeri? Bobby? David? Dinner.”
And we kept playing. She appeared again, and called out, and we kept playing. She appeared on last time, called out, and we kept playing. Then my father appeared at the door and just whistled. We ran home.
3/ Every family has/had a go-to meal - something quick and easy that you ate with regularity. What was yours?
My mother called it More …because when she fed it to us we always asked for more. It was ground beef with tomatoes and corn and olives tosses in macaroni and a kind of tomato sauce with parmesan cheese.
Once she didn’t have all the ingredients so she improvised a new dish that we all decided should be called Less, because we wanted More.
4/ Did your parents entertain? Go to parties? Dance?
My father was in the air force so about once or twice a year—winter and summer—they’d host a party for people from the squadron. And they would attend parties at their friends, but they weren’t the kind of parents who went out really.
5/ What kind of music did your parents play? Favorite artists?
My parents loved all kinds of music, though perhaps not the kind of music their kids liked. But I learned to love Sammy Davis Jr and Dean Martin and Vicki Carr; they loved John Denver and Simon and Garfunkel. They loathed Sarah Vaughan, because they once had a date to see her in concert and she was so late they missed the show because my mother had a curfew. They never forgave Sarah.
That said, I adore Sarah.
6/ Were there television shows the whole family watched together? What were they?
I think we mostly watched variety shows with Mom and dad, and cartoons by ourselves. My dad did love watching Saturday afternoon wrestling so that became a family thing.
7/ As a family did you ever... go to a drive-in movie? Or a live music concert? Or ?
We’d go to the drive-in every so often because it was easier to contain the kids inside your own car. And there would be concerts in William Land Park that we’d go to, and take a picnic lunch; and baseball games when the Dodgers played in San Francisco.
8/ Did you go on family vacations? What did you do/where did you go?
Mostly to visit family in Southern California, or Las Vegas, or in Texas. Road trips. We did, however, rent a cabin at Lake Tahoe for weeks at a time every summer and went up there. Those were the best trips. Tahoe is one of my favorite places on earth.
9/ When you were little, who read to you at bedtime? Favorite book?
I don’t remember being read to at bedtime. I remember my parents tucking us in and chatting with us. But we did have books and our parents encouraged us to become readers. I really appreciate that lesson today.
10/ Did your parents ever help you with your homework?
Dad helped with Math and Mom helped with English. They had their strengths.
11/ The nicest/kindest thing your parents ever did for you?
Well, it’s something a lot of parents don’t o: they loved me. I’ve told the story before, but when I came out, and I had no examples of being gay save for Uncle Arthur on Bewitched so I was nervous about their reaction, my father said, “I love you very much.”
That’s the kindest thing ever.
This will be a tough one for me, but here goes.
1. No. That was my father. Buzzcuts with the clippers - no deviation.
2. My mom would scold - once in a while she'd spank; sometimes ground depending on the severity of the sin. My father used the buckle end of a belt, then graduated to a thick leather razor strap, then graduated to fists.
3. Let's see. That would've been Mac 'n cheese and tomato soup. I have to admit, though, we ate pretty good. My mom's family --- once one of the wealthiest in the OH valley --- lost everything in the Depression. She learned to make things stretch.
4. My parents? Entertain? Only other family members. I only remember them going out once on a NY Eve.
5. My mom liked swing music and vocals like Andy Williams, Nat King Cole, Perry Como. If someone was singing, my father hated it. he was instrumental all the way. He bought records; my mom had to get her fill of the vocalists by listening to the radio.
6. The only one I remember everyone watching is Bonanza. There were things were we not allowed to watch, like "The Three Stooges."
7. Drive-in? No. Concert? No. Anything of the sort? No.
8. Only twice. Once to Chicago so my father could visit an Army buddy; once to St. Louis so he could visit with the insurance rep who insisted my father switch agents.
9. My sister read to me. She's the reason I was a very early and voracious reader. But I don't remember ever getting a bedtime story.
10. Not that I ever remember. The neighbor girl (woman) helped me with math, though.
11. When you grow up in an abusive (mental and physical) it's tough to recall anything "nice." But, they did loan me money to purchase a high-end cassette recorder. A military buddy's parents were stationed in Japan and able to get excellent equipment very cheaply. So, there was that....
My, I've never seen so many rosy cheeks in one sitting before.
Ohhhh spanking!
Ok, here we go: nope, Mum never attempted to cut my hair. She'd take me to the barber but had to bribe me. I hated getting my hair cut when I was a kid.
I was never really disciplined. I was a 'good' kid who got good grades, read a lot and kept to himself. Well, kept to himself and many of the older men in the block. Your mum was quite the character, huh?
I think the go-to dish was some kind of soup and Spanish tortilla. My grandma would me a kick-ass Spanish tortilla.
My parents did go out until I was in my teens, I think. My gran used to baby sit for them.
OMG my parents had all kinds of cool music. I, as it is expected from a slightly moody kid, pretended I did not like it but I have managed to buy many of the vinyl they had inherited: Ella, Billie, Ima Sumac, Charo, the lot of lounge music. Oh, and some Mambo and Bossa Nova too. Then all that adult contemporary in the eighties. I only started listening to rock and roll in the nineties.
I don't really remember the tv shows. When I was little it was cartoons, but I don't really remember any TV programs we watched. I read a lot, so I was not always in front of the TV.
We did go to a drive-in theater! So much fun.
My dad worked in a casino, so we would go visit him and go to the beach and have a great time. It lasted until I turned fifteen, I think.
I always read when I was little. First, my mum would read us bedtime stories. By the time I was seven, I was reading my own books. I still read at bedtime.
I think the coolest thing my mom did for me was to once do all the answers to Jeopardy! in shorthand for a school project I had. I think I had that little notebook that opened vertically for the longest time.
Oh, this was a trip!
XOXO
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