Wonderland Burlesque's Do I Still Like That? Quiz, Part 4

Wonderland Burlesque's 

Do I Still Like That? Quiz, Part 4

Prince Andrew

The Beef
In 2019, Britain's Prince Andrew, the Duke of York, made headlines for his long-known friendship with the late sex offender Jeffrey Epstein, after a video surfaced showing him inside Epstein's Manhattan townhouse nine years ago. In a widely criticized interview with BBC News, Andrew said he had no recollection of ever meeting accuser Virginia Roberts Giuffre and defended his friendship with Epstein. Giuffre, however, maintains that she was sexually trafficked by Epstein to his former pal Andrew. In November 2019, Andrew announced he was stepping away from his public duties as a royal, saying his ties to Epstein have become "a major disruption to my family’s work."

Oh, the creep factor at play, here. Anyone associated with Mr. Epstein is pretty much toast at this point, yes? 

Now, I never cared for Andrew. Never understood why he treated Fergie the way he did - I thought she was lovely and, despite her own scandals, I still think so. I'd choose to spend time with her, over him, any day. Also, a shame, considering how cute he was back in the day. 

But messing with underage girls in such a fashion? Nothing cute about that folks.

Can they be redeemed?

Nope. He's smart to step away. At this point, he's royal roadkill and a bit unnecessary, in light of the younger generation.

Jussie Smollett

The Beef
Actor Jussie Smollett made headlines in 2019 for an alleged hoax hate-crime. In March 2019, state prosecutors dropped charges against the actor that accused him of staging a racist, anti-gay attack against himself. The following February, however, a grand jury returned a six-count indictment, accusing the actor of lying to Chicago police. A special prosecutor in Chicago said in August that Cook County State's Attorney Kim Foxx and her office abused their discretion and made misleading statements in the case against Smollett but did nothing criminal. In September, a judge denied the actor's motion to have the case dropped.

I hate to snub one of our own (especially when he's so adorable.) But lying about such stuff? The boy who cried wolf? Well, it's just not done. I mean, suddenly, everyone who does experience a genuine hate crime is being second-guessed because of this little stunt - one which conservatives will not soon forget. Having it thrown up in our face constantly? Yes, well, I guess the source of all that deserves a bit of shunning. 

Can they be redeemed?

He wasn't established enough to really matter. Pity, but... he made his bed. And now all we gay folk must lie in it. Thanks, Jussie.

Erika Jayne

The Beef

Jayne and Girardi have been accused of embezzling millions intended for plane crash victims to fund their lavish lifestyle. Coincidentally, Girardi’s firm, Girardi & Keese, transferred about $20 million to Jayne’s company to help fund her entertainment career. Moreover, the fact that Jayne filed for divorce not long before all of these allegations came to light have raised further questions about how involved Jayne was in all of this and how much she knew of Girardi’s dealings.

I know I am treading on Bob-territory, here, but I can't help it. 

Yes, our dearest Bob, from I Should Be Laughing, has covered the Erika Jayne scandal from day one, and done a great job of it. 

I only bring her up because I truly adore her music. Yes, it's over-produced, processed cheese whiz and her vocals are as treated as her face is, umm... 'contoured.'  But...

I love it. 

Adore it. 

Her videos? The kind of eye candy which leads to diabetes. 

Can they be redeemed?

Not if Bob has anything to say about it.

And, if I know one thing in this world? 

Bob is always right. 

(I think Carlos would agree.)

Arnold Schwarzenegger

The Beef
In January 2011, news broke that Arnold Schwarzenegger had an affair and fathered a child with his and then-wife Maria Shriver's housekeeper, Mildred Baena, more than a decade earlier. The news prompted Shriver to move out and file for divorce.

This is rather old news, and Arnold has certainly changed his tune on a few things, now that the Republican party has turned their back on him. He's an opportunist and I never liked his movies. He's a terrible actor. To this day, I am not sure what Hollywood saw in him. He was a pile of meat that mumbled.  

His marriage to Shriver always felt faux to me... as if to benefit both, a deal rather than a romance. 

Can they be redeemed?

He's too old now, and we all stopped caring a long time ago. 

Nicki Minaj

The Beef

On September 13, 2021, Minaj announced she would not be attending the 2021 Met Gala due to the COVID-19 vaccine requirement. Minaj shared several tweets about her unvaccinated status, claimed she wanted to "do more research" and claimed that "her cousin's friend in Trinidad suffered swollen testicles, became impotent, and had to cancel his wedding as a result of the COVID vaccine." These tweets received widespread backlash on social media, where her story about her cousin's friend became the subject of jokes and memes. 

Trinidad and Tobago health minister Terrence Deyalsingh declared that Minaj's claims were false, lamenting that his team "wasted time trying to track down" such a report. When asked about the subject of Minaj’s statements in a press conference, England's Chief Medical Officer Chris Whitty said that she should be "ashamed" for "peddling untruths on social media". IIn an Instagram Live response two days later, she claimed that she was "simply asking questions" and she did not "give any facts" about the vaccine.

This is hardly the only controversial thing Minaj has been involved with, but it certainly is the most egregious. Typically, she's stuck to personal grudges and slights, leaving the big issues to others. 

I think she's immensely talented. I also think she's a bit of a troll and a shit-stirrer. My love affair with her has been an on and off thing... currently off. 

Can they be redeemed?

Can she be harmed?

Matt Lauer

The Beef
Today co-anchor Matt Lauer was fired from NBC in 2017 for inappropriate sexual behavior at work. "There are no words to express my sorrow and regret for the pain I have caused others by words and actions," Lauer said in his statement following his firing. In Ronan Farrow's best-selling book Catch and Kill, published in Oct. 2019, Lauer was also accused of raping NBC colleague, Brooke Nevils. Lauer has firmly denied that allegation and did so again in a May 2020 column in Mediaite, unloading on Farrow's allegedly "shoddy" journalism in Catch and Kill. Farrow defended himself and his book in a statement to USA TODAY at the time: “We called dozens of corroborators around the Lauer allegations described in the book, and more than a dozen around Brooke Nevils specifically."

It was an interesting time, the start of the #MeToo movement. And while I it was rather nice to see the ones called out and punished, I will be forever befuddled by the ones so powerful that they were not. 

Lauer struck me as a bit of a prick, but he was also very good at what he did. He looked good. He looked the part. That he was such a creep behind the scenes? Never occurred to me. Prima donna, yes. Predator? No. 

Can they be redeemed?

He's journalistic roadkill. And they are a very unforgiving group. If the likes of Brian Williams can't come back from his sins, I don't see someone as lightweight as Matt being granted clemency for his. 

Lea Michele

The Beef

In June, after the actress tweeted her support for Black Lives Matter, her former co-star Samantha Ware called her out for hypocrisy. (Her exact, incredible words: “I believe you told everyone that if you had the opportunity you would ‘shit in my wig!’) That prompted a miniature reckoning online as others came forward to share their Lea Michele horror stories.

Elizabeth Aldrich had nothing good to say about her experience with Michele on the set of the Broadway musical Ragtime in the late ’90s, where she served as the actress’s understudy. “She was absolutely awful to me and ensemble,” Aldrich wrote. “She demeaned the crew and threatened to have people fired if she was in anyway displeased. I used to cry every night from the mean and manipulative things she would do. She was 12. She was terrifying.”

Another performer added that Michele “was the meanest person I ever encountered on Broadway. And that includes Tony Randall and Roseanne (Barr) who I also worked with (both AWFUL people). She’s a cancer on humanity.”  

Oh, I love this one. This is the kind of scandal I can relish, I mean, er,.. relate to. 

Now, first off... she was a child. And anyone who has ever worked with a child in the theatre knows they are ALL terrible monsters. My 'favorite' such experience? The actress portraying the titular character in a summer stock production of The Bad Seed. Everyone involved wanted to murder her... which would make for a  fun read, come to think of it. But, back to Michele.

She has the kind of face and attitude that makes you want to do her bodily harm. Not that one should, but the impulse... it is very much alive. I just love the 'wig' comment. Such prima donna behavior. Was it racist? No. It was bitchy backstage shit, at its finest. 

Can they be redeemed? 

Well, yes. Get back to Broadway, where you belong and kill Patti LuPone - live, onstage!

That would get you back in everyone's good graces.

John Mulaney

The Beef
Affable comedian turned turgid, scandalmonger John Mulaney and his new girlfriend, actress Olivia Munn, are expecting their first child. Mulaney confirmed the news after candid paparazzi shots of Munn about town surfaced. Speaking to Seth Meyers in an interview on September 7, Mulaney described Munn’s pregnancy as part of “a relationship that’s been really beautiful with someone incredible.” News of Mulaney and Munn’s relationship had leaked in May, just days after Mulaney filed for divorce from his wife of six years, artist Anna Marie Tendler. The news of the high-profile split came just as Mulaney was finishing a stint in rehab for drug addiction. 

Munn has since dumped Mulaney. 

I love John. His stand up is lovable and fun. He has a self-deprecating charm rarely found in straight white males. He should do a touring production of The Music Man, he's that charming. When he found love with Tendler, I was happy for him. He needed a bit of grounding. Then rehab happened. Then Munn, who has a nose for men caught up in a moment of weakness. Yes, she's a bit of a homewrecker, but Mulaney is a bit of a tool, if that is all it took. He's a schmuck. 

Can they be redeemed? 

Of course. This kind of scandal, outside of country music, is the stuff that builds higher profiles. Do I like him as much as a did? Naw. 

He's a schmuck. 

Olivia Munn

The Beef

Munn, who has a habit of dropping men like used tissues, recently had her past come back to bite her. One Reddit user referred to an old tweet from Munn about beauty and down syndrome, to be specific. The dialogue has now intersected with the topic of discriminatory and mean jokes – and how they are somewhat contradictory to Mulaney’s brand of humor.

February 5, 2009, the she-devil tweeted: "just saw a com'l for true beauty where a girl with down syndrome wins prom queen. so if you're mentally retarded you get to win?"

This came to light after it was learned that Munn broke it off with Mr. Mulaney. Seems she was with him just long enough to break up his six-year marriage, get pregnant and have her name alive for another news cycle. 

Blech. I don't even know what she's famous for, other than hooking up and splitting up. Does she work for a 'service?' 

Given the statement at hand (the prom queen comment), I think that stands as a pretty accurate example of this one's character. 

Why would anyone want to fuck that kind of ugly?

Can they be redeemed?

I don't think she wants to be. She's doing quite well with this whole 'bad girl' routine. Why not make that 'her thing?' If she keeps her name in news long enough, eventually someone will pay her to write a book about all the various penises she's had inside her.  Oh - I'm not slut shaming (have you met me?) - I'm just pointing out that THAT is all she has to offer. 

Johnny Depp

The Beef

Johnny Depp & Amber Heard’s marriage was quickly over when Heard filed for divorce in 2016. She reportedly filed a temporary restraining order and claimed that Depp was physically abusive throughout their relationship. The accusations have flown back and forth...

• Depp accusing Heard of having multiple affairs
• Depp allegedly threatened to kill her
• Depp claimed that Amber Heard allegedly punched him
• Depp’s legal team said, “Ms.Heard is not a victim of domestic abuse, she is a perpetrator.”
• Depp claimed, “She hit, punched, and kicked me. She also repeatedly and frequently threw objects into my body and head, including heavy bottles, soda cans, burning candles, television remote controls, and paint thinner cans, which severely injured me.”
• Heard claimed a "three-day ordeal of assaults" while the pair was in Australia in March 2015
• Depp claimed that Heard threw a bottle of vodka at him at this time, severing his fingertip and "crushing" his bones.  
• Heard claimed that Depp would resort to "punching, slapping, kicking, head-butting and choking me, as well as throwing me into things, pulling me by my hair and shoving me or pushing me to the ground." 

Oh... and then? Somebody pooped in the bed. And that was the day Depp realized the relationship was over. 

Adore this. 

Somebody pooped in the bed! And THAT was the day Depp realized the relationship was over! He's on record saying that!!

Depp is as talented as he is a bit of a scumbag. I'm all for actors taking themselves seriously, but he's such a douche 'artiste.' He's taken a page from the Marlon Brando book of stardom and taking it to a new extreme.

I've enjoyed several of his past performances, but have not liked the direction of his career, at all. 

Can they be redeemed?

 

He's Hollywood, baby! Teflon. Nothing sticks for long. 

Not even poop in the bed. 

--- ---

And that wraps up a month's worth of terrible people. Forty people, forty scandals.

Okay... your turn. You know what to do. 

Can they be redeemed? Do you still enjoy their work? 

Leave your answers in the comments section. I love to hear from you. 

Thanks for reading... and participating. 

How Many F*cks? - Erika Jayne

Pretty Mess - Erika Jayne