Wonderland Burlesque's If The Shoe Fits Quiz

Wonderland Burlesque's 

If The Shoe Fits Quiz

There's nothing like a new pair of shoes! 

Unless it's an old, beloved pair. 

I must admit, I have a hard time letting go of a pair of shoes I love. Comfort is everything? But then where does that leave style? And what about practicality or specific needs? 

Face it: our relationship with our shoes is one of the most important in our lives. They support us. They take care of us. They protect us. They offer comfort. They get us where we need to go. The help express who we are. 

So, let's take a little time and look at, not only how we fit into our shoes... 

...but also, how shoes fit into our lives. 

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1/ How many pairs of footwear do you have right now (divide into categories) (include slippers, boots, galoshes, etc.)? Go count, we'll wait. 

Total: 32

4 pairs of running shoes

4 pairs of slippers

1 Leather boy fuck-me boots

4 Casual Slip-ons/Loafers

1 Chukka Boots

2 Dress Boots

10 Leather Dress Shoes

4 Dress Sneakers

1 Show Boots

1 Hiking Boots

2/ How many are still in the box / rarely worn?

2 In the Box/Never Worn

8 Rarely/Never Worn

3/ How many are on their last leg?

6 pairs: 1 Slippers, 3 Dress Shoes, 3 Running Shoes

4/ What do you wear around the house all-day? 

I've been working from home for over a year, so slippers; a nice suede moccasin-type with a flexible plastic, firm sole. They are lined with faux-sheepskin and I adore them. Sometimes I walk across the street to my Mom's forgetting I've got them on. 

5/ What do you where when you go into work?

Monday thru Thursday? I would wear dress shoes. I actually like them. I love black or brown leather, Italian-style. I used to hate pointy toes, but have come to appreciate them. I prefer slip-ons. Of the ten pair I own, seven are slip-ons.

Fridays, I wear casual sneaker-like shoes. Typically black and always newish-looking.

6/ Have you ever had a pair of shoes that you loved, but could not/would not wear?

I had the most beautiful pair of Kenneth Cole black leather slip-ons. They were gorgeous and cost a fortune. They looked good, but never relaxed for a second, particularly around the top of my foot, wher they would cut in like they were gunning for the devil. 

I had a love/hate relationship with those shoes and only wore them to the opera or Orchestra Hall. They were finally donated a year ago, at the start of the pandemic. I thought... "go break someone else's heart, you dirty bastards." 

They still looked as if they'd never been worn... so, buyer beware.

7/ As a child or adolescent, what was your favorite pair of shoes?

We always got a new pair of shoes at the beginning of each school year and they had to be dress shoes - no sneakers. I never wore sneakers to school. Nerd!

It was an annual shopping day, one I always dreaded because it was a matter of price vs. what I really wanted. I would have my eye one one thing, but couldn't get them because I knew we couldn't afford them. Only my oldest brother got what he wanted because he wasn't very sensitive about those sorts of things proving, once and for all, that ignorance is bliss. 

The one time both what I wanted and the price point met was when I found a pair of suede oxfords with an orangish sole. They had a dark reddish brown toe, a camel basic and a dark reddish brown wraparound saddle. The shoe laces were big and fat and matched the orangish soles. I thought they were the height of of sophistication, because the had air holes! 

I wore those things until they fell apart. 

8/ Have you ever worn shoes that did not fit?

Of course. In theatre, that's a given. You squeeze in a half size too small or wear three pairs of socks to fill something out. You work with what you're given, unless the director has a fit because you're walking funny. 

This willingness to put up with ill-fitting shoes extended into my daily life as well. I was not a slave to fashion, by any means, but if I found a pair of shoes I thought fun, I wore them to death and, frequently, at my own peril.

As far as theatre goes, the only time I ever put my foot down was when a choreographer wanted me to learn a tap number and put me in shoes a size and a half too small. Second rehearsal, I chucked those shoes off and told her we had to come to an understanding. I ended up choreographing my own number. 

Looking back, I was sort of a bitch about it. 

9/ If a man was a pair of shoes, what would you choose as your ideal?

A pair of broken-in hiking boots. Leather. I don't care about the color or the laces. I don't care if they're scuffed or marred. But they should be comfortable, offer adequate support, and be prepared for any terrain. 

10/ If you were a pair of shoes, what kind would you be?

I wish I was a broken-in pair of hiking boots. But, the sad fact is... I am the slippers I am currently wearing. Suede moccasin-type with faux sheepskin interiors. Yes, I am lazy and prone to frequent 20 minute naps.

11/ Sandals? Sandals with socks? Flip flops? Barefoot?

No, no, no, and no.

I can't wear sandals. I hate my feet. 

Sandals with socks? Unless you're a twenty year-old nerd boy wearing black socks with sandals ironically, I can't see it happening. Why people think this is a look worth sporting is beyond my comprehension.

Flip flops were invented by the devil to annoy the fuck out of me. When I was young, I wore them and hated them. They were so uncomfortable. No support and they would irritate that space between my big toe and the one next to it. 

I work in a rather professional environment - yet, every summer, women at work seem to believe that they have some kind of right to wear these monstrous feet paddles. Up and down the hall they go, flapping away, making a noise no one should ever have to bear. I think they should be banned and burned. 

I feel about flip flops the way our Miss Maddie feels about Crocs. THAT'S how much I detest them.

12/ Shoes no one should ever buy or wear?

See above.

Also: women should not wear high heels unless they truly love wearing high heels. I see some poor gals hobbling about and, while my heart goes out to them for trying, I am also thinking... grow a pair and toss those off, dear. No point in calling attention to what we can't or don't want to do. 

That said, I had a pair of low-heeled open-toed shoes - white lace pattern. They flattered and I could walk-in them. Gave them away about five years ago. Regret it every day of my life. 

Every man should own a pair of heels that fit. 

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Well, this turned out more fun than I initially thought. 

Have an idea for quiz? Leave it in the comments section. 

And leave your answers to today's quiz there, as well. I love hearing from you and about you. 

That's all for today, kids.

Thanks for reading!

Fuck Me Pumps - Amy Winehouse

Shoe Shopping - Old Dominion