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Tuesday, May 04, 2021

Wonderland Burlesque's If The Shoe Fits Quiz

Wonderland Burlesque's 
If The Shoe Fits Quiz

There's nothing like a new pair of shoes! 

Unless it's an old, beloved pair. 

I must admit, I have a hard time letting go of a pair of shoes I love. Comfort is everything? But then where does that leave style? And what about practicality or specific needs? 

Face it: our relationship with our shoes is one of the most important in our lives. They support us. They take care of us. They protect us. They offer comfort. They get us where we need to go. The help express who we are. 

So, let's take a little time and look at, not only how we fit into our shoes... 

...but also, how shoes fit into our lives. 

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1/ How many pairs of footwear do you have right now (divide into categories) (include slippers, boots, galoshes, etc.)? Go count, we'll wait

Total: 32

4 pairs of running shoes
4 pairs of slippers
1 Leather boy fuck-me boots
4 Casual Slip-ons/Loafers
1 Chukka Boots
2 Dress Boots
10 Leather Dress Shoes
4 Dress Sneakers
1 Show Boots
1 Hiking Boots

2/ How many are still in the box / rarely worn?

2 In the Box/Never Worn
8 Rarely/Never Worn

3/ How many are on their last leg?

6 pairs: 1 Slippers, 3 Dress Shoes, 3 Running Shoes

4/ What do you wear around the house all-day? 

I've been working from home for over a year, so slippers; a nice suede moccasin-type with a flexible plastic, firm sole. They are lined with faux-sheepskin and I adore them. Sometimes I walk across the street to my Mom's forgetting I've got them on. 

5/ What do you where when you go into work?

Monday thru Thursday? I would wear dress shoes. I actually like them. I love black or brown leather, Italian-style. I used to hate pointy toes, but have come to appreciate them. I prefer slip-ons. Of the ten pair I own, seven are slip-ons.

Fridays, I wear casual sneaker-like shoes. Typically black and always newish-looking.

6/ Have you ever had a pair of shoes that you loved, but could not/would not wear?


I had the most beautiful pair of Kenneth Cole black leather slip-ons. They were gorgeous and cost a fortune. They looked good, but never relaxed for a second, particularly around the top of my foot, wher they would cut in like they were gunning for the devil. 

I had a love/hate relationship with those shoes and only wore them to the opera or Orchestra Hall. They were finally donated a year ago, at the start of the pandemic. I thought... "go break someone else's heart, you dirty bastards." 

They still looked as if they'd never been worn... so, buyer beware.

7/ As a child or adolescent, what was your favorite pair of shoes?

We always got a new pair of shoes at the beginning of each school year and they had to be dress shoes - no sneakers. I never wore sneakers to school. Nerd!

It was an annual shopping day, one I always dreaded because it was a matter of price vs. what I really wanted. I would have my eye one one thing, but couldn't get them because I knew we couldn't afford them. Only my oldest brother got what he wanted because he wasn't very sensitive about those sorts of things proving, once and for all, that ignorance is bliss. 

The one time both what I wanted and the price point met was when I found a pair of suede oxfords with an orangish sole. They had a dark reddish brown toe, a camel basic and a dark reddish brown wraparound saddle. The shoe laces were big and fat and matched the orangish soles. I thought they were the height of of sophistication, because the had air holes! 

I wore those things until they fell apart. 

8/ Have you ever worn shoes that did not fit?

Of course. In theatre, that's a given. You squeeze in a half size too small or wear three pairs of socks to fill something out. You work with what you're given, unless the director has a fit because you're walking funny. 

This willingness to put up with ill-fitting shoes extended into my daily life as well. I was not a slave to fashion, by any means, but if I found a pair of shoes I thought fun, I wore them to death and, frequently, at my own peril.

As far as theatre goes, the only time I ever put my foot down was when a choreographer wanted me to learn a tap number and put me in shoes a size and a half too small. Second rehearsal, I chucked those shoes off and told her we had to come to an understanding. I ended up choreographing my own number. 

Looking back, I was sort of a bitch about it. 

9/ If a man was a pair of shoes, what would you choose as your ideal?

A pair of broken-in hiking boots. Leather. I don't care about the color or the laces. I don't care if they're scuffed or marred. But they should be comfortable, offer adequate support, and be prepared for any terrain. 

10/ If you were a pair of shoes, what kind would you be?

I wish I was a broken-in pair of hiking boots. But, the sad fact is... I am the slippers I am currently wearing. Suede moccasin-type with faux sheepskin interiors. Yes, 
I am lazy and prone to frequent 20 minute naps.

11/ Sandals? Sandals with socks? Flip flops? Barefoot?

No, no, no, and no.

I can't wear sandals. I hate my feet. 

Sandals with socks? Unless you're a twenty year-old nerd boy wearing black socks with sandals ironically, I can't see it happening. Why people think this is a look worth sporting is beyond my comprehension.

Flip flops were invented by the devil to annoy the fuck out of me. When I was young, I wore them and hated them. They were so uncomfortable. No support and they would irritate that space between my big toe and the one next to it. 

I work in a rather professional environment - yet, every summer, women at work seem to believe that they have some kind of right to wear these monstrous feet paddles. Up and down the hall they go, flapping away, making a noise no one should ever have to bear. I think they should be banned and burned. 

I feel about flip flops the way our Miss Maddie feels about Crocs. THAT'S how much I detest them.

12/ Shoes no one should ever buy or wear?


See above.

Also: women should not wear high heels unless they truly love wearing high heels. I see some poor gals hobbling about and, while my heart goes out to them for trying, I am also thinking... grow a pair and toss those off, dear. No point in calling attention to what we can't or don't want to do. 

That said, I had a pair of low-heeled open-toed shoes - white lace pattern. They flattered and I could walk-in them. Gave them away about five years ago. Regret it every day of my life. 

Every man should own a pair of heels that fit. 

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Well, this turned out more fun than I initially thought. 

Have an idea for quiz? Leave it in the comments section. 

And leave your answers to today's quiz there, as well. I love hearing from you and about you. 

That's all for today, kids.

Thanks for reading!

Fuck Me Pumps - Amy Winehouse


























































































































Shoe Shopping - Old Dominion

8 comments:

Sixpence Notthewiser said...

Ohhh That Amy song!
Now, let's see: I have never counted how many pairs of shoes I own. I refuse to do it. None are in the box or are rarely worn. I wear the hell out of my shoes.
None are on their last leg. I had a pair of slip-on boots that died last year, though.
Around the house I wear sock monkey slippers. They were a gift. When I go to work, I usually wear Doc Martens. I have eight pairs of boots and four pairs of shoes. All Doc Martens. I sometimes wear dress shoes but they're not my fav.
I once had a pair of shoes that were a half size too small. Loved those fuckers. They killed me, though. Had to donate them.
As a child, I loved my Converse. To this day, I have six pairs. Three high tops. I also like Van's. I have Sky High and sip ons for the summer.
If a man were a pair of shoes, he'd need to be a pair of black leather Doc Martens. With yellow shoelaces. I'd be a pair of Chucks. High top. In some outrageous color combo.
I don't do sandals often. Only at the beach. Sandals with socks should be punished with canning. In public.
People should not have Crocs. But they're everywhere.

XOXO

Jimmy said...

1. 2 pair sandals
3 pair good shoes (Harry's of London)
1 pair of everyday long pants shoes. (I haven't worn long pants in a
couple of years.)
1 pair of sneakers
2 pair of Cushies
Total: 9 pair

2. seven

3. one pair of sandals

4. I'm barefoot. I put on sandals when I leave the house and drive.

5. na

6. Yes, a pair of Harry's that were just too much for the streets. The last time I wore them was at the Gay Polo Tournament in Wellington. Those rich queens throw down and pull out all the stops!

7. barefoot (I grew up in Florida)

8. Yes. Had to have them!

9. Merrells

10. same as #9

11. barefoot

12. hmm...???

anne marie in philly said...

1 - 5 pairs: 2 house slippers, 2 clogs, 1 snow boots

2 - none

3 - 1 house slippers

4 - barefoot in the house

5 - my clogs

6 - nope

7 - loafers

8 - no

9 - clogs

10 - house slippers

11 - barefoot only

12 - flip flops, crocs, stiletto heels

whkattk said...

1. Total: 10. 1 pair of sneakers; 2 slippers, 1 canvas deck shoes, 2 black loafers, 1 brown sandals, 1 brown suede boots, 1 hiking boots, 1 grey dress.
2. The brown sandals, the boots
3. None.
4. Nothing. Seriously, no shoes.
5. The black loafers. But I'm retired now.
6. Can't say I have.
7. I'm almost embarrassed to admit it: Beatle Boots.
8. No.
9. ???
10. Capezios. Lord I loved my capezios. Bought them for the dance gigs, wore them **everywhere**
11. Barefoot. I have sandal/flips - no socks. OMG - a really weird look.
12. Spike heels. No. Just no. Fucks up the back and hips.

Bob said...

1/ How many pairs of footwear do you have right now (divide into categories) (include slippers, boots, galoshes, etc.)? Go count, we'll wait.
Total: 18
2 pairs of athletic shoes
1 pair of slippers
1 pair of work boots
1 pair of Doc Marten boots
2 pairs of yardwork tennis shoes
4 pairs of kicks [summertime casual shoes]
1 pair of flip-flops
4 pairs of dress shoes
2 pairs of casual leather shoes

2/ How many are still in the box / rarely worn?
All of ‘em are in boxes—what am I, a farmer?—but all have been worn.

3/ How many are on their last leg?
Just one pair of yardwork tennis shoes, though the slippers aren’t far behind.

4/ What do you wear around the house all-day?
Winter, it’s slippers. On other days when it’s not cold, my feet are bare.

5/ What do you where when you go into work?
I wear the dress shoes, or the casual leather shoes; sometimes the Doc boots get a day at work.

6/ Have you ever had a pair of shoes that you loved, but could not/would not wear?
I don’t; I couldn’t. If they hurt my feet, no matter how much I love then, back they go.

7/ As a child or adolescent, what was your favorite pair of shoes?
Probably tennis shoes, though they were always in good condition; they weren’t “play” shoes!

8/ Have you ever worn shoes that did not fit?
I do not. If they don’t fit, and they don’t have my size, I don’t get them. My feet must be comfortable.

9/ If a man was a pair of shoes, what would you choose as your ideal?
Cool boots, in black, that look a little rough around the edges.

10/ If you were a pair of shoes, what kind would you be?
Anything that is casual and easy, but looks good, and can be kicked off quite easily.

11/ Sandals? Sandals with socks? Flip flops? Barefoot?
I have worn sandals, and I have worn Birkenstocks with socks; but these days, since living in Florida, it’s flip-flops.
Or barefoot.

12/ Shoes no one should ever buy or wear?
I think people should wear whatever they like. You just have to own them!

Mistress Maddie said...

How many pairs of footwear do you have right now (divide into categories)? YES SIR!!!!

10 pair of Jack Purcell converse sneakers, 3 fitness sneakers, 1 athleisure sneaker, 5 pair of brogues, 2 ankle dress boots, 2 biker boots, 2 mules, 20 flip flops, 1 rain wellies, 1 western boots, 1 slipper. Heels 3. At one time 96 pair!!!!!!!

How many are still in the box / rarely worn? All! I store them in the box to keep the dust off.

How many are on their last leg. 2 pair and the slippers.

What do you wear around the house all-day. When in doors, nothing, I'm barefooted. I hate things on my feet. Plus feet are not meant to be covered up all the time, they need air. Outside mostly flips flops or converse.

What do you where when you go into work? When I was working at the store always dress shoes, boots, or biker boots.

Have you ever had a pair of shoes that you loved, but could not/would not wear? Can't say I did.

Have you ever worn shoes that did not fit? Nope. I very fussy when it comes to me feet.

I'd like a nice comfortable chic shoe, broken in, looks stylish, yet has wear and character. Classic, yet fun to wear.

If you were a pair of shoes, what kind would you be? Are you kidding? I'd be one of the loudest, gayest looking Louboutin's you ever saw!

Sandals? Sandals with socks? Flip flops? Barefoot? People who wear socks with sandals ought to be shot!!!!! And don't get me started on CROCS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Those Spaghetti strainers are ugly enough!!!!! I love flips flips but not with socks. These are all meant to wear barefoot. I want to beat someone when I see them wear socks with any of this footwear. And if it's a croc? I will get real ugly.

Shoes no one should ever buy or wear? CROCS!

But your right about man and heels. Wearing heels all those years is what toned and built my legs up. I still wear them sometimes to do housework.

SickoRicko said...

So many excellent examples!

Xersex said...

I love feet very much and for me shoes, boots and sandals are like the paper that wraps a gift!