Wonderland Burlesque's Let's All Go To The Movies: Just Say No Edition, Part II

Wonderland Burlesque's Let's All Go To The Movies:

Just Say No Edition, Part II

Hypocrisy was never more in fashion than during the golden age of the drug awareness film. 

Like a junkie with a needle in his arm, Hollywood was high on the dope scene and couldn't get enough of it. To satisfy their chemically-driven lust, they churned out picture after picture, informing America about all the wonderous horrendous things a life of debauchery had to offer. The silver screen had more coke lined up on it than girls in a Busby Berkley musical. Yes, Tinsel Town took the high road, all the while wallowing in their own fix-filled filth. 

Let's revisit some of the two-reelers ground out by the town that served as the birthplace of excess and addiction.

The Road To Ruin

(So, in other words, a map to the stars!)

"An innocent girl... a life destroyed!"

(Helen Foster would star in this movie twice: in 1928 and the remake in 1934.)

"Modern youth burned at the altar of ignorance."

"A timely warning to parents of today."

(I'm all for burning altars.)

Doped Youth

"The most daring picture ever made of America's newest narcotic menace!"

"A puff of smoke changed their lives."

(A single puff? That must of been some strong weed they were toking!)

"Ignorance of the truth... is the cause of all misery! Learn about marijuana... before it is too late."

(Yes, learn about it before your local dealer is all out.)

The Dope Traffic

"Secrets of China Town."

"Must death be the price of such glorious dreams?

(Huh. Why did opium go out of style?)

Monkey On My Back

"The story of Barney Ross."

"A powerhouse story!!!"

"A guy hooked by the dope habit!"

(This is actually a rather fascinating story - all true. Ross was a Jewish prize fighter, who, after a tragic childhood, began running with the likes of Jack Ruby and was employed by Al Capone! While Hitler was ramping up anti-Semitism, Ross was viewed by the Jewish community as something of a superstar. After he retired from fighting, he enlisted in the Marines, fighting in WWII. While recovering from wounds inflicted during battle, Ross became addicted to morphine, at times spending up to $500 a day on the drug.)

(He was a looker, wasn't he!)

"Yesterday: The idol of millions..."

"The no holds barred story of a champ of champs... a Marine hero... who suddenly turned into a drug addict... a screaming animal who'd kill for a 'fix!'

"He'd never come back without her!"

"Not since The Man With The Golden Arm has the screen told so daring story."

"Shock by shock, it jabs like a hopped up needle!"

"Today, a drug addict! Yesterday, a Marine hero... idol of millions!

Hooked!

"They were..."

"Pent-up punks on a penthouse binge..."

"Playing it cool in a heatwave of violence!"

(Alliteration, weaving it's magic once again.)

"Untamed youth in search of thrills!"

"A teen-age daughter on a crazy binge ...and how she got..."

(I love how teenage girls are frequently played by women who look 30 years old.)

The Hooked Generation

"Their bag - supplying..."

"Daisey... the leader - killing was easy for him!"

"Kelly... the hostage - toy for the gang!"

"Dum-Dum... tough punk - easily led!"

"Acid... the addict - brutal, depraved, sadistic!"

"Mark... hero - easy going, hell when cornered!"

(I love it when the poster gives away the entire plot of a movie.)

The Pace That Kills

"Senses drowned in forbidden pleasures."

(Ah, yes... but what a way to go!)

"Astounding revelations of unguarded youth!"

(This film looks to be more about drinking than drugging.)

"Hollywood's newest smash hit that has everything."

"A dynamic thunderbolt for adults only."

(Everything? Really? Musical numbers? A dancing pony? Free samples?)

The Burning Question

"See... innocent youth. Victims of narcotics."

"Protect your family - know the whole truth."

(I saw the title of this movie and assumed it was about a visit to the Red Door Clinic.)

"Dope-created ecstasy avalanching into frightful perversions."

"Makes beasts of men & women."

(Beasts, huh? What kind we talking? The sexual kind or werewolves?)

"The love weed. Women cry for it! Men die for it!"

"Unleashed passions."

"Innocent youth, victims of a new sex-craze!"

(You had me at 'sex-craze!')

Hallucination Generation

"Tonight you are invited to a 'pill party.' You will experience every jolt... every jar of al psychedelic circus. The beatniks, sickniks, and acid heads and you will witness their ecstasies, their agonies and their bizarre sensualities... you will be hurled into their debauched dreams and frenzied fantasies!

"For the adult minded... the revealing story of..."

(As I read the verbiage on the poster, I could almost hear the steely voiced announcer  hammering home each word with a crippling tone of condemnation.)

Trip With The Teacher

"How far should a teacher go to protect her students?"

"They forced her to commit the ultimate sacrifice!"

(So, is this a hostage situation? Well, you take a group of high school kids on a school bus into the desert? You get what you deserve.) 

The Trip

"A lovely sort of death. "

"In psychedelic color."

(Look at that cast: It's like an Easy Rider reunion; Peter Fonda, Dennis Hopper, Bruce Dern, Susan Strasberg, Jack Nicholson and B-movie king, Roger Corman.)

Turn On To Love

"A whole generation... going to pot!"

(No one will be seated during the horrifying, climactic flutophone solo.)

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That's all we have time for this week.

Tune in next week!

Same time! Same channel!

Let's All Go To The Lobby