Wonderland Burlesque's Let's All Go To The Movies: The Friendly Skies Edition

Wonderland Burlesque's 

Let's All Go To The Movies:

The Friendly Skies Edition

Yes, it seems once upon a time the skies were filled with romance.

No Covid-Restrictions or TSA necessary when flying these airlines. It's all lust and glamor, with some occasional serious manhunting thrown in. 

Don't worry. All your needs will be taken care of, thanks to our eager-to-please flight crew. Here, everyone flies first class!

So, toss your cares in the air and climb aboard! It's time to buckle up and ease your seats back, as we take off to the kind of friendly skies only Hollywood could conjure. 

Enjoy your trip!

Air Hostess

"She went up into the air for romance - but came down to earth for love!"

(My legs frequently go up in the air for something... but it isn't love.)

"Romance rides the skies."

"A true magazine story."

(Romance may ride the skies, but the big question is... who's riding James Murray? Is it Evalyn or Thelma?)

Night Flight

(I think they thought they could market this as a sort of Grand Hotel in the sky. Just look at that cast.)

(I've heard Helen Hayes can be a bit of a pip, but that Myrna Loy? She knows how to party!)

Flying Down To Rio

"200 beauties!"

"Stupendous musical!"

(Cue: Peter Allen wearing a bolero shirt with rumba sleeves playing the maracas.) 

Wings And The Woman

(I wonder if this is the film that inspired Amelia Earhart?)

Come Fly With Me

"A romantic round-the-world manhunt!"

"Three airline hostesses with the mostess of fun in mind!!"

(Oh, those stewardesses - only one thing on their mind and it's not your complimentary peanuts!)

Fly Me

"This airline serves three wild dishes. Take your choice."

"See stewardesses battle kung fu killers."

(You had me at: 'kung fu killers.' I imagine all the stewardesses have to do is leave the 'seat belts fastened' light on for the entire flight, and they win!)

Diary Of A Stewardess

"Warning! Don't fly me if you are not over 18. I am the world's hottest stewardess. I'm so hot even my diary will burn  you out."

(Exactly how does a diary 'burn' one 'out?' Is it made of hot coals?)

Swedish Fly Girls

"Every man should meet a free-flying stewardess once in his lifetime."

"Fly girls who know what to do for or to a man."

(On this flight, the seats aren't the only thing in the upright position.)

Blazing Stewardesses

"Out-blazing Blazing Saddles. This year's mad, mad world of sheer lunacy and complete insanity!"

(I wonder who Yvonne De Carlo had to sleep with to get this part?)

Naughty Stewardesses

"For those who can afford the finest."

(Huh. Stewardesses as hookers? Such a novel idea.)

(The skies just got a lot friendlier... for a price.)

The Stewardesses

"Now, at last, on the wide screen... the most talked about girls in America - the one and only..."

"The unpublishable novel is now America's most controversial film!"

(Perhaps it was 'unpublishable' because it was also 'unreadable.')

"See the lusty stewardesses leap from the screen onto your lap."

(Ah, yes... Hollywood. Where everything's better in 3-D.)

The Swingin' Stewardesses

"New-different-revealing!"

"Fly them and get a ride like you've never had in your life, with..."

"...they aim to please!"

("New-different-revealing?" Really? Just how many 'complimentary nuts' jokes are there?)

Stewardess School

"This is one flight you'll never forget."

"Gee, I've never done it on a plane before."

(Wow. The real 'prime-time' players: Sherman Hensley, Judy Landers, Donnie Most and Wendi Jo Sperber!)

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That's all we have time for this week. 

Tune in next week!

Same time! Same channel!

Let's All Go To The Movies!