Wonderland Burlesque's That's So High School Quiz

Wonderland Burlesque's 

That's So High School Quiz

Think back. Who were you in high school? And while we're at it, let's clarify and say we're looking at 7th through 12th grade - because I grew up in a small town and we had an elementary school and a high school. No middle school. I don't even know what grades a middle school would cover (clue me in).

So put on your bobby sox and let's all go to the hop... or whatever it is you kids used to do with your hot rods and penny loafers while eating hamburgers at the soda fountain.

Let's all head back to high school!

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1/ How did you do in school? Were you a 'good' student?

I was, until I wasn't. I actually held on until my very last semester, when I started to not give a flying 'F'. I stupidly thought real life was just around the corner, so why bother paying attention to the present? I was typically an A- student. I excelled in anything that had to do with the arts (literature, journalism, English, band, chorus, speech, etc.) and struggled with math, athletics, and wood shop. 

I remember being inducted into the National Honor Society my junior year (the earliest we were eligible), although I never had a shot at being Valedictorian or Salutatorian, because I was never that dedicated to my studies. 

So, no, I was not a 'good' student... I just did what I needed to slide by. 

Oh, that last semester? I received my one and only 'C', a 'C+', actually... in a social studies class. The teacher was a stoner or an alcoholic (not sure which) and he dialed it in everyday... but then, when it came to the final, made us responsible for everything in the damn textbook, something I never bothered to read. So, yeah... failed that. 

It was a sign of things to come. I would go away to college and be an A- student my first semester and after that? Blow it all off. When I returned to college, many years later, I took it all very 'over-achiever' serious. 

2/ How did puberty impact your high school years?

Well, I was a perv in the making, thanks to my years as a football manager (towel boy) for the varsity team. Once I realized what my pea shooter could do? I did it everywhere. I think everyone might have. But the thing is, I thought I was the only one, so never shared my 'gift' with anyone. Looking back? I wish I would have been a lot less self-conscious about it and let my freek flag fly a little. I mean, I was ridiculed and scorned anyway... so why not have some fun in the process?

I was always a smiley kid. Plastered one on my face every day, all-day... had to hide what was going on at home. Once puberty hit? Well, I became a smiley, smelly, sweaty, hormone monster. Behind my back? Everybody wondered 'what is up with that kid? He's such a weirdo.' And I was. 

On the outside, I presented very Catholic boy clean, but in reality? I was a lone wolf with a habit of leaving his DNA all over the place. 

3/ Were you popular? What was your 'crowd'?

I was not popular. Far from it. But I was 'protected'. I ran with the nerds and the musicians. People had a strange respect for us, well, for them. I just happened to be taken under their wing because I could sing. Once I started doing theatre, again, I was somewhat sheltered - living in a nerd bubble. 

I never understood popularity. But I knew it had to do with having money and parents who behaved (at least publicly) like the ones you saw on TV. Having neither, I was sort of screwed, but I also never saw it as something to dwell on. 

I was much more obsessed with seeing naked men and jerking off - and that I was going to hell.

4/ What extracurricular activities (non-sports) did you participate in?

Theatre. We did three shows a year, although the cast for the third was Seniors only. The fall musical was always fun. I had major supporting roles in 10th and 11th grade and the lead my senior year. We also had the one-act play competition. Again - supporting roles in 10th and 11th, but my senior year, the director didn't want to work with me because I challenged her too much, so I ended up being the assistant director/stage manager. It was supposed to teach me a lesson, but it was lost on me at the time. 

Speech competition. I was very driven. Went to state my junior and senior year, failed to make the final round my junior year and came in second my senior year. Lost by one point. I was raked #1 during my first two rounds and then bombed (I guess) in the finals. 

Choir, solo competition (baritone - the instrument and the singing voice), band, swing choir, swing band, editor of the school paper, and all talent competitions; basically anything to stay at school and not go home. 

5/ What sports did you play, if any? Were you good? Did you get a letterman's jacket?

I was a football manager for the seniors during 7th and 8th grade. I played basketball from 7th to 9th grade. I took up track in 10th grade, just so I could get a letter for my letterman's jacket (I got a letter as football manager, but was ashamed of it).  

I sucked at basketball. All the rich boys had hoops in their driveways and were much more skilled. In track, I was relegated to running the four-mile... an activity the coach gave those for whom he had zero interest or time. I sucked at that, too. Although, I do love running. I think I was actually much better at it (motivated) later in life. 

I spent a lot of time dancing. That was my athletic outlet.

6/ Did you go to prom and, if so, with who?

I went to both my junior and senior prom. Junior year, I picked a senior girl I thought would appreciate a date. She did not. She accepted and we went, but she was much more interested in spending time with her friends and the whole evening sucked rocks. 

Senior year, I brought the lead ballerina from my dance class, a blonde goddess named Jennifer. She was gorgeous. We danced the night away and she was giggly-charming. My friends thought she was great, as did I. We made a cute couple. I kissed her good-night and that was it. 

I was pretty clueless. 

7/ Were you bullied? Did you bully? What were you teased about?

I was bullied. The stoners had it out for me. Hated me. But... and this is the weird thing... the jocks always came to my defense and acted as deflectors. I never understood it. One, in particular, our quarterback, always had my back. I adored his girlfriend, went out of my way to let her know I thought she was super, and I think that had something to do with it. 

And I never bullied anyone in high school. It wasn't cool. There was a farm where parents who did not know what to do with their kids or had no desire to deal with them, dropped them off, like family pets. These kids had a hard life and were picked on mercilessly. We also had a kid with a colotomy bag, and he got picked on a lot, too. I felt bad for all of them. One of them was openly gay. 

In retrospect? I wish I'd been braver. But I don't know how much help I would have been, coming to their defense, since the same people who bullied them, bullied me.  

I was teased about being gay. I was teased about being teacher's pet. I was teased about being poor and dressing oddly. I was told I smelled once... that was the only time I got physical with a dude. Slammed him up against the wall and told him if he said one more word I was going to put my fist through his face. He backed down. It was weird. But, that was something I'd always been sensitive about, because it was a sign of being poor. If you had no money, people just assumed you never bathed. Small town.

8/ Favorite teacher (subject, not name)? Least favorite teacher, ever (subject, not name)?

Favorite: at the time, my drama teacher. Now? I look back and rather dislike her. She was mean. A snob. And terribly, terribly homophobic. I think it was the way she took advantage of my talents and then said mean things about me behind my back. She had all the other mean teachers laughing at me. 

Boo-hoo. Right?

Oh, actually, my favorite teacher was my journalism instructor. He was smart. Well-read. I wish I had trusted him more and learned more. That is also true of the junior band director. He was one of my best friend's dad's and he was an incredible musician. I was simply in no frame of mind to learn. But I wish I had paid more attention to all he had to offer. 

Least favorite? Other than the stoner who gave me a 'C+'?  

Too many to mention. There were a lot of mean teachers. They lorded the fact that they were teachers over anybody who was economically-challenged. The kids with money were all treated differently - I think because they were afraid of their parents. I now realize the teachers all had a huge chip on their shoulders - they were stuck in a tiny town and made no money. They simply seemed to thrive on making kids miserable and laughing at their expense. They certainly weren't the inspirational role models bent on lifting their students up. 

9/ Best moment in high school? Worst?

Of all my achievements? My favorite really wasn't much of one... I convinced the homecoming committee to chose Miracles - the song by Jefferson Starship - for their theme and to allow me to come up with a band to perform the song at the homecoming ceremonies. 

I put together a diverse group of seniors. I was in a band at the time, so they were included (drummer and bassist). The pianist was a girl who no one ever asked to do stuff, but was really a nice person. I was asking a flute player who used to be my best friend in sixth grade, when I looked over and saw the look on another senior flutist's face, so I asked them both to play and do back-up vocals. 

The guitarist was this cool girl - too cool for our small town, who, again, never was asked to do anything because she had 'a reputation'. I created an arrangement that played to everyone's strengths and gave everybody something fun to do (I love harmony) and I split the lead vocals with the drummer. 

I toned down the words a bit (it's a very sexual song), thinking that I would be able to snag this uber-Xtian girl who played the glockenspiel in marching band. She belonged to this freaky fringe student Maranatha group (which was basically a cult and scared the crap out of the rest of us) and, since they rarely participated in anything school related, I thought... yeah, ask her. 

She refused, telling me it was Satan's music. So I played the glockenspiel (badly) myself. I staged it (Lots of risers and people on different levels), told everybody what to wear and we looked good - kind of like an alternative homecoming court. And we sounded even better. We blew people away. I was really proud of the whole thing... and I think it was why I was made class musician at the award ceremony at the end of the year (even though two other people actually deserved that award). 

It was my favorite moment, because it was the one time I recall such a diverse group coming together and creating something magical. 

Least favorite. During the Sr. Class Play, as my character was in the middle of a block of exposition, someone in the audience yelled "Fag!' You could of heard a pin drop. I sort of knew what it meant, but not really (yes, I was that clueless). I didn't acknowledge it and kept right on going, but... yeah. That sucked. No one else ever mentioned it either. 

But you carry something like that for a long time. 

It's the reason I have never gone to any of my class reunions. 

Fuck 'em.

10/ Did you cruise main street? Go to parties? Did you have a favorite after school hang?

There was a route everybody 'cruised' after school. I did it once with my sisters, just to say I'd done it. But otherwise... no. 

Parties? I was not even aware of them. I had no idea anyone, other than the stoners, drank. Nor did I know kids were sexually active. 

Favorite place to hang was the Tastee Freeze. I worked there, so no hang time. And then, after I was fired? No, never hanged out there then either. Too ashamed.

I was always busy doing stuff. Shows, rehearsals, practice, speech. The whole social nature of high school was lost on me... which is why I was such a freek once I got out into the real world. 

Socially-maladjusted, I believe, is the term.

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Enough about me. 

Your turn.

Leave your answers in the comments section or post them on your blog and leave a link here. 

Thanks for reading. 

School Days - The Runaways

The Homecoming Queen's Got A Gun - Julie Brown