Sunday Diva / Three From The Hip: Doris Day

Sunday Diva / Three From The Hip:

Doris Day

In my own personal big gay church, there is a wing devoted to the sainted known as 'The Working Girls'. Typically, these women have had long, varied careers; hosting shows, acting in movies and on television, doing variety shows, Vegas and working for a cause. They are legends because they have earned it.

One such effervescent soul?

Doris Day.

Such a ray of sunshine!

She says she was happiest on the road, touring and fronting a big band. That's how she got her start.

Then Hollywood called. She and Rock Hudson created the picture perfect romance. And she stood by him the day he announced his AIDs diagnosis. 

Her attitude has always been and would always remain 'the glass is way more than half-full,' but she had her share of woes to deal with. 

She married four times. Her first, to a schizophrenic trombonist was troubled to say the least; when she became pregnant with his child, he beat her in the hopes of inducing a miscarriage.

Her second husband introduced her to Christian Science. Enough said.

Her third lasted the longest... he produced many of her movies. After he died in 1968, she discovered that he'd squandered all her money and left her on the hook for a television sitcom and a series of television specials she'd never agreed to do. 

After recovering from bankruptcy, she married the maître d'hôtel at her favorite restaurant. He won her over by giving her a bag of meat scraps and bones for her dogs. He later complained that she cared for her animals more than she ever cared for him. Their marriage lasted eight years.

She also had to endure the death of her only child, Terry, who died of Melanoma in 2004. 

But there was a great deal of joy in her life. 

She loved music. Loved a family-friendly movie with a happy ending. Loved walking on the beach near her home.

And she loved animals. In fact, she was a fierce animals rights activist, focusing primarily on rescue and rehabilitation. 

After her death in 2019, they auctioned off most of her possessions, raising $3 million for the Doris Day Animal Foundation.

Yes, she left us with her music and her movies and her foundation.

But her biggest legacy?

Her rather naïve notions about happiness, for she was forever smiling, a California, sun-kissed icon - one which lives in the hearts and minds of many generations.  

The gospel according to her?

Well, here are three from the hip, dropping from her lips.

The topic? Happiness.

"I like joy; I want to be joyous; I want to have fun on the set; I want to wear beautiful clothes and look pretty. I want to smile and I want to make people laugh. And that's all I want. I like it. I like being happy. I want to make others happy."

"Some of the downbeat pictures, in my opinion, should never be made at all. Most of them are made for personal satisfaction, to impress other actors who say "Oh, God! what a shot, what camera work!". But the average person in the audience, who bought his ticket to be entertained, doesn't see that at all. He comes out depressed."

"The succession of cheerful, period musicals I made, plus Oscar Levant's widely publicized remark about my virginity, contributed to what has been called my "image", which is a word that baffles me. There never was any intent on my part either in my acting or in my private life to create any such thing as an image."

"I was offered the part of Mrs. Robinson in The Graduate, but I could not see myself rolling around in the sheets with a young man half my age whom I'd seduced. I realized it was an effective part but it offended my sense of values. Of course, in the years since then, explicit sex has become commonplace on the screen-so commonplace that it is considered novel when a film appears without a few naked bodies thrashing about. Now I really don't put anybody else down for doing such scenes. To each his own. Many actors enjoy doing these turns, and obviously many people enjoy watching them. I don't, either doing or watching. I can't picture myself in bed with a man, all the crew around us, doing that which I consider so exciting and exalting when it is very personal and private. I am really appalled by some of the public exhibitions on the screen by good actors and actresses who certainly have the talent to convey what they are doing without showing us to the last detail of pubic hair and rosy nipple how they are doing it."

"You don't really know a person until you live with him, not just sleep with him. Sex is not enough to sustain marriage. I have the unfortunate reputation of being Miss Goody Two-shoes, America's Virgin, and all that, so I'm afraid it's going to shock some people for me to say this, but I staunchly believe no two people should get married until they have lived together. The young people have it right. What a tragedy it is for a couple to get married, have a child, and in the process discover they are not suited for one another! If I had lived with Al Jorden for a few weeks, God knows I would never have married him. Nor would I have married George Weidler. But I was too young and too inexperienced to understand any of this. Now my heart was busted and I had lost my way."

"All I ever wanted in my life was to get married, have kids, keep house and cook, and even though I did all these things, I still ended up in Hollywood. It was a great trip. I've had an amazing life and wonderful times. And I'm happy!"

I'll See You In My Dreams - Doris Day

from the 1951 motion picture I'll See You In My Dreams

My Secret Love - Doris Day

from the 1953 musical motion picture Calamity Jane

Que Sera, Sera - Doris Day

Scenes from the 1956 motion picture The Man Who Knew Too Much

And one last parting shot...

"I've just always loved animals."

"Helping animals has been a lifelong passion. They give us unconditional love and ask very little in return."

"I'm going to do as much as I can for the animal world, and I'll never stop."

"When I see Liz Taylor with those Harry Winston boulders hanging from her neck, I get nauseated. Not figuratively, but nauseated! All I can think of are how many dog shelters those diamonds could buy."

"If I'd find a dog, I'd try to find the owner, of course, but it was mine! I just can't live without them; I love them so much. I have cats, too. People call me all the time and say, 'We know of a couple of cats people don't care for,' and I say, 'Bring them!' That's it - two words. I'm always open for that."

"I've never met an animal I didn't like, and I can't say the same thing about people."

"If it's true that men are such beasts, this must account for the fact that most women are animal lovers."

"There's another thing I'd like to mention here. People sometimes say, 'Oh, Miss Day, I can't take another animal, I just can't replace my darling little dog.' Many people, when they lose their pet, can't face getting another. I felt like that once, and then I realized my baby would understand, and would want me to give a home to another animal. I want people to know they're not replacing the one they lost. They're giving another wonderful little soul a home. I've done this over and over again, and have never regretted it. I've only been rewarded."