Party Got Your Tongue? Try These Conversation Starters

Party Got Your Tongue? 

Try These Conversation Starters

Not that it's likely any of us will be attending a party anytime soon, but I thought this grab bag of questions would make for a great little quiz. You know, something to get your brain in motion. Found these at Conversation Starters World and I have a feeling we'll be dipping into their well a couple of times this month. 

Enjoy!

1/ What do you wish was legal?

Drugs.

Seriously. I think it would solve a lot of problems. The problem would be keeping it out of the hands of pharmaceutical companies and keeping it in the hands of the people. 

I remember growing up with drug hysteria. Each year, there was a whole week devoted to it in grade school. We would draw insipid posters... seriously, fourth graders drawing syringes and smack kits. WTF?

It was enough to scar me for life... and not in a good way.

So, why legalize? 

Good question.

Here's a list.

• Regulation of quality.

• All the gang activity would become business - as in, legitimate employment.

• All that phantom money that is not being taxed? Suddenly helping to pay for infrastructure and healthcare.

• Because people are going to use, so why not help them use safely and remove the stigma?

Oh, but people will abuse it. People will die.

That's already happening, folks. 

Drugs are really no different than alcohol. Except we support one and demonize the other. 

Think of all the money we could save if rather than trying and failing to police an illegal drug industry, we regulate and oversee a legal one?

Me? I wouldn't be tempted to use any of it. I'd stick with my gin. But for those who choose to use... let's help them out by ensuring that what they're snorting, sticking in their arms, or ingesting is high quality and well-regulated. 

And that way we can spare ourselves ever having to see another third grader's conception of what it means for Momma to O.D. in the bath tub (oh, yeah... I drew that!).

2/ What do you wish was illegal?

Greed. 

I recently saw a meme (I think it was at SickoRicko's) where after a person reaches a billion dollars, they get a plaque and they are done. Period. We just cap it. If they continue to earn, say due to investments, all that money is simply donated to a good cause like helping homeless veterans or their local animal shelter.

Greed is at the root of so much evil. All we have to do is look to the White House and realize that all those people? They are there for the money and the power that comes with having lots of money. Wouldn't it be refreshing to have civil servants who were actually interested in bettering the community than lining their own pockets and satisfying their own egos? 

Personally, I don't understand the need for all that money. Money makes you lazy, vain, self-important, blindly privileged and out of touch with real life. Me? I like real life. 

I don't understand how a billionaire can sleep at night knowing that there are people who have no homes and struggle to feed themselves. 

Their self-righteous haughtiness is infuriating. 

While writing this, all I can picture is Cokehead Jr.'s smug mug at the RNC. You hope that there is karma for that kind of ugliness, but the fact is...

...their money and privilege will most likely protect them... always.

3/ What do you resent paying for most?

Public schools.

Yeah, yeah, yeah... I get it. But! See, there was a time when public schools were necessary and actually worked. But now? No. 

They're no different than prisons, really. All we're doing is warehousing future criminals. Parents use them as day care centers and don't contribute crap to their success. They just want someone else to raise their kids. No one's learning jack shit. They are horribly underfunded and when they do get funds? They buy a new fucking scoreboard for their football field. Teachers are kept poor, frustrated, tired and scared. 

Not a single child enters the world prepared.

And local governments continue to use them as a means of rewriting history while promoting local biases and beliefs. Fuck your selective history. Screw your need for prayer in school.

Enough. It's time for the open market to take over. Education needs to be run, not like a government program - which leaves wiggle room for corruption and prejudice to seep in - but like a business. You run a successful business... one that accomplishes its goals? Then you thrive, succeed and live on. If not? You die.

I used to fear the idea of voucher programs, but no more. Every parent should get to decide what kind of education their child receives until that child is able to articulate what they would like to concentrate on themselves. 

That said, do I support Betsy DeVos? Fuck no. That asshole is so privileged she hasn't wiped her own in years. You can't have someone so out of touch with real life in charge of educating people about real life. But a voucher program could work, if it is administered by someone who actually knows something about education. Like, you know... a teacher. Hell, even the school janitor knows more about education than ivory tower Betsy.

Aptitude would be key. We're not sending just anybody to a school that specializes in dance. We're also not sending the next Einstein to a trade school. And yes, not everybody is going to get to go where they want. When it comes to talent, some aren't going to make the cut. That's reality knocking. And the sooner one answers that door? The happier one will be and the more likely they will be to contribute something of value to society. Because not getting into one school simply helps define the path that leads to the right school.

Oh, but parents are more likely to send their kids to religious schools or places with cult like ideologies! Hell, that's happening anyway. So let them. Their kids come out just as unprepared for the world as their parents or, they see the light and breakaway.  It matters not to me. You want to sit your child in a room and have them taught that SpongeBob Squarepants is the light and the way? Have at it. Because you can't help stupid. 

Bottom line? I am tired of people who choose to not have children paying to educate other people's children. Especially since it doesn't seem to be working. But primarily because... it's not my monkey, not my circus. I shouldn't have to pay for it. 

My platform: You have 'em, you raise 'em,  YOU pay for them.

But then only the rich will have children. Really? Great. Because know what we would not making more of? Poor people. 

Not that I have anything against poor people. My folks were poor people. And they worked hard and sacrificed a lot in order to raise five kids. 

My point is... You want to breed and create new little people to satisfy your ego? Then you pay for them. You take care of them. 

Me? I use roads. I use parks. I would like to see my taxes support the things I actually use. 

Your kids only become my concern when they poop on my lawn.

And, yes... that happens.

I live in North Minneapolis. 

4/ What about becoming an adult caught you completely off guard?

The power of money.

I don't know what my brain was doing when I was growing up. I had no concept of how the world worked and really didn't until probably 20 years ago. Now, that is a long time to remain clueless and I don't know how I survived as long as I did while remaining completely naive about things like power and money. I mean, my head was up there in the clouds thinking I just needed my big break, or that I would be discovered sipping soda at the Tastee Freeze.

I did grow up with a friend of a friend who understood it. His name was Paul and I disliked him intensely, because the things he cared about seemed so foreign. Paul was a Reaganite before Reagan was president. The rest of my little high school gang? We were artsy fartsy - into music, in bands, writing skits, doing shows. Paul's misogynistic, narrow-minded, elitist, pompous focus was elsewhere. On the real prize, perhaps. He looked down on me and thought I was trash. But Paul understood money and how it worked. And I really wish I would have paid a bit more attention. 

I have since made up for lost time. But I wasted half my life ignoring the whole 'money doesn't grow on trees' mantra and paid a hefty price for it. 

It took being in a relationship with someone who understood it even less than I did and a catastrophic illness for me to wake up and smell the coffee. 

Since that time? I take my coffee very seriously. 

Yes, indeed. 

I have become a good steward when it comes to coffee. 

5/ What subjects should be taught in school, but aren’t?

Hygiene

Personal Money Management

Basic Cooking

Basic Housekeeping

How to be Considerate

Religion = Cult

How the United States stole it's land, built it's economy and keeps you poor.

Real Sex Ed

About sex ed... This was my whole sex ed class. It was a 45 minute class, during which... the biology teacher came into the room. Closed all the curtains. Turned off the lights. Then, stood in front of the room as said... "Today we are covering sexual reproduction. Any questions?" 

No one said a word. 

"Great," he said. He turned back on the lights, opened up the curtains, and then said, "You may use the rest of this period as study hall. For those of you who don't have anything to work on? You may put your heads on your desk and rest."

And that... was my sex education.

6/ What did your teachers and parents say would be really important when you grew up, but it hasn’t been? 

The truth.

All you have to do is look at our current situation here in the U.S. and see what I mean. 

The truth is subjective? The truth doesn't matter. 

If you repeat something often enough, it becomes the truth.

Truth is individual by nature.

You can get away with murder. You can pay other people to lie for you.  The people we trust - politicians, police, lawyers? They lie all the time, as if it was part of their job descriptions.

The truth can be bought, sold, packaged, spun, re-packaged, recycled, regurgitated, replaced, and rendered meaningless. 

Fuck the truth?

You can't handle the truth.

The truth hurts.

True dat.

7/ What household chore do you actually enjoy?

Cleaning the bathroom, especially the toilet.

Seriously. I clean my toilet almost every time I use it. This has gotten worse since Covid started. And it's not just my toilet. It's the sink. And the shower. 

I clean at the boyfriend's house, too. On Friday, I spend at least two solid hours cleaning and am still not satisfied. I do little project cleans throughout the weekend. I never get to everything I want to do. 

Don't get me wrong. I hate the idea of cleaning. I don't want to do it. 

But once I see something that needs attention, I have to clean it. And once I get started? I just get into some kind of zone. 

So I am an ideal house guest, from that perspective. Hotels love me. Because frequently I leave the bathroom cleaner after I leave than it was when I got there. 

And don't get me started on fixing the bed. 

Yeah. I'm Joan Crawford's kid, alright. 

 
8/ What’s the best way to stay young?

Exercise.

It is key. You have to use it or lose it. Flexibility is everything. You give into your pains and aches and all you get is more pains and aches. 

You can't defy gravity, but you can delay it's effects. 

Exercise not only helps you physically, it helps you cope, it reduces anxiety, it makes you feel young.

Exercise is not about having six pack abs. It is not about big arms. It is not about fitting into a size 10 or having a tiny waist. 

It's about health and longevity. It's about your heart rate. It's about your blood pressure. 

It's about reaching over your head and being able to touch your toes.

The day I can't do either of those things? Well, there's a bottle of gin and a handful of Ambien waiting for me!

Naw. 

I am going to hobble around until my hobble is a wobble and my wobble falls down.

Just trust me. Stay active. Anything... a walk, a dance, mow the lawn, garden... get out there and move. 

9/ How could carousels be spiced up so they are more exciting?

Razor blades.

10/ What is the last goal you achieved?

Memorized 50 songs I can sing and play on the piano - at the same time!  Here's a list with either the songwriter and/or the artist associated.

It took me longer than I would have hoped, but it has been a recent, long-term goal of mine. My new goal? Fifty more songs.

Screw you, Alzheimer's! 

11/ What three songs should be played on a loop in hell?

I am a traditionalist:

Cotton Eye Joe - Rednex

It's A Small World - Richard M. Sherman

Barbie Girl - Aqua

I hate the first two - and I must say, I make it a point never to 'hate' (dislike, yes, hate, no), but those first two? Odious. 

And I actually like Barbie Girl. I think the video is cute and the song is good fun. But that voice... over and over again? Oh, yeah... like a dental drill to temple, for sure.

Why does that bring a smile to my face?

--- ---

Hope you enjoyed that. Sorry about my potty mouth. But I really do like to swear. A lot. I find it empowering, though I understand that some find it aggressive and a tad violent. 

You know the drill: leave your answers in the comments section or copy the questions, answer them on your own blog, and leave a link.

And, oh yeah... you knew these were coming!

Cotton Eye Joe - Rednex

It's A Small World - Disney

Barbie Girl - Aqua

When The Party's Over - Janis Ian