Wonderland Burlesque's Happy Little Home Quiz

Wonderland Burlesque's 

Happy Little Home Quiz

These days, we're all spending more time at home than we're used to. For some of us, that's a good thing. For others? A bit of strain. I say, let's take this time to reacquaint ourselves with our primary surroundings and share a bit about what we really think of our happy little homes! 

1/ What are the main color themes in your home? What do you like about them? Do they suit you?

Here in the bunker, all the walls that I can paint are white, which I like very much. It's very clean looking and they make whatever art you put on the walls really pop. That said... running the full length of my place is an interior wall covered with paneling - but it is just this sandy, plain wood - no stripes, no heavy grain, no patterns... just a very nice, neutral, sandy wood. It also makes whatever I place on it pop while adding a touch of warmth to the place, which is sorely needed, especially in winter. 

I think they do suit me. I'm not a very fussy sort. Oh, and the floor throughout my kitchen, bedroom, music room and living area is this chocolate brown church linoleum with these flecks in them (think of a chocolate nut log cut and that is the pattern). It's from like 1952. It is in great shape and shiny (except where I spilled a bottle of poppers once - and it lost some of its color and luster). But no worries, I have large jute rugs that compliment the linoleum (and cover up that spot). The rugs, like that paneling (paneling has such a bad reputation, I know) help warm the place up a bit. 

My dressing area and bathroom - white walls and a painted cement floor. I put a large grey rug in the bathroom, just to keep my feet from freezing in the winter. When I get tired of it, I just buy something new... it's cheap and easy to replace. My dressing room, too. 

I like white walls.

2/ What is your favorite room in your home? Why?

I have this little gas stove in my living area. It's black and modern. I love it. I love watching the flames at night. The living area is really an extension of the music room, It's not very large at all, but my books are in there, as are my laptops, my television (which is rarely on), and some of my favorite art. 

It's very small, as in... I can't imagine having another person sit with me. Maybe that's why I like it? 

3/ What room do you wish was a little larger?

You'd think it would be my living area, but no. I would like a larger bedroom. The bedroom takes up such a tiny slice of space and I love my bed so very much. It's so large and I sleep so well in it. I wish I could spend more time in it. 

But the bedroom is so small that I have to use the room outside of my bathroom as a sort of dressing room - it makes sense, as the large walk-in closet and the bathroom are right there.  My dressing area has only one dresser, the rest are white shelves which hold all my fold-up clothing and shoes. It makes me feel like I'm Carrie Bradshaw. Except, it's not cosmopolitan by any stretch of the imagination and you'd probably laugh at all my clothing.  I used to have way too much clothing. The walk-in has two, six-foot steel bars anchored in the ceiling. They were stuffed, and I had another four-foot bar in the dressing area. I got rid of the one in the dressing area and cleaned up my act, jettisoning anything I hadn't worn in the past year.  I donated it all to this place that sells used stuff  in order to feed people in Africa. Unfortunately, I also found out they send them bibles. I'm like, why? I think they'd really get more out a having a good sandwich or two than reading a bunch of nonsense. Although, if they run out of toilet paper...

So clothing problem solved, but that's also when I stopped buying clothes and started buying shoes - on-line! Fortunately, shoes wear out, as I tend to love a pair to death - so into the bin with them.  

Oh - side story. So one of the things that happened with us all being out of the office is they've begun to repurpose space and decorate and change things around. In the process they had to move people without those people being present. Guess what? We have tons of hoarders! People order things on-line and hide them from their spouses by storing it all in their cubes! I love it.  We had a woman with over 150 pairs of shoes. All her filing cabinets and storage spaces were filled and she'd hidden a bunch under counters. I just love it. Another one buys stuffed animals and appliances... all still in the box!

4/ What is the one room that could use a little makeover?

My sad kitchenette. 

No, it's terrible. 

I repurposed some old computer desks so that I have counter space and a place to store food and appliances. I just can't bring myself to even get an estimate. 

I mean, really... there is so much that needs to be done at my place. Like trim around my doors and a new ceiling in my dressing room, bathroom and walk-in. 

I've also thought about putting an egress window, so I could have suitors visit me in the dead of night without having to have them come through my back door. Although, MY back door... well, that's why I'd like to have an egress window put in, isn't it? Hmm.

So, rather than try to pick a place to start, I just put up with all the imperfection's. 

I mean, who knows how much longer I am going to go on like this?  Things change. Anything could happen. 

Still, it might help with the resale of the house when the time comes.

5/ What is your favorite piece of furniture? Why?

My bed. It is so comfortable. And big. I lose myself in it. 

I love my current comforters. I keep the summer one on under the winter one. Everything is midnight blue.

Not crazy about my pillows (four) but I like the two tiny accent pillows. Oh... making my bed is super important to me. Even when I stay at a hotel. Or at someone's house. I like a well-made bed. And I love washing sheets and changing sheets. 

I've never had such a nice bed. I was sleeping on an old daybed before this (not the haunted one) and I can truly say... once you get a nice bed, you will never want anything but. 

6/ What is the one piece of furniture most in need of replacement?

My little loveseat. It's the only place to sit in my living area. It's from the 1970's and just goes so well with the jute rugs and the warmth of the sandy paneling. It has such great texture. It's still in really good shape. Like really, really good shape. It's a sleeper sofa. And weighs a ton. That's why it's still where it is... I can't move it up and out by myself. 

Besides, in the event of a zombie apocalypse, if I should get stuck taking in children or strangers or other people, I want to be able to offer them someplace to sleep. It's not comfortable at all, so... depending whether I want them to stay long or not I would be willing to give up my bed... but not if I don't like them.

7/ What is your favorite knickknack or tchotchke? Why?

I put most of my stuff in boxes in the walk-in closet. They are those nice boxes with a lid that reams of paper come in. They look so nice stacked on top of one another with a little label that says what's in them. 

See, I go through phases where I clutter the place up... thinking it makes me seem interesting. And then one day I get overwhelmed and donate what I don't love and pack away the rest. I did a pack away at the dawn of the Covid-19 crisis because I was spending so much time in the bunker and was feeling overwhelmed by all the crap everywhere. I even got rid of half my framed photos because there were too many eyes... eyes belonging to people who are, for one reason or another, no longer in my life. 

I guess I felt judged. 

Well, fuck that.

Oh, my favorite of what remains? It is this child's wooden block with a doll's eye that blinks when you pick it up. There is this artist in Wisconsin (my sister collects his larger pieces), who makes things out of old toy parts and found objects. It's unlike anything I have ever seen, because all the pieces have so much personality and they are not junky, like so much found object art can get. The child's block is all I could afford, but it has a letter on it that means a lot to me. And that doll's eye? It's creepy AF!

I also have a SpongeBob SquarePants alarm clock that I love. He pops up when the alarm goes off and you hit him on the head to make it stop. It was a promotional item when that network got added to cable. I still have the box and the little instructions. I never use the alarm. I just like having it around. I like the idea of owning it.

8/ What is in that closet/storage space/basement/garage that you just can't bring yourself to get rid of?

Oh, so we have a rule in my family. If our mother offers you something from her house, you have to take it. You don't have to keep it, but you need to take it and help her keep her hoard down. 

Yes, my mother! A hoarder. Low grade variety. Nothing filthy. Her house is very clean and normal looking, easy to navigate. But she gets fixated (as did my dad) on things - like McDonald's toys, or brass knickknacks, or tools, or beanie babies. Over the years, since we moved her across the street from me (an ordeal - we filled a 40 yard dumpster and could have filled another - if I'd had my way) I have been offered a lot of stuff.  Most of it... buh-bye. If she asks me about it, I just smile and nod my head. 

So, I have these lovely white cabinets with doors that line a wall in my living area. One has all my CD's. One has my DVDs/VHS tapes. And the rest? Filled with things my mother asked me if I wanted, I took, but could not bring myself to get rid of. Like... a large framed paint-by-number parrot that a cousin on my Dad's side of the family who had muscular dystrophy painted back in 1950-something. The cousin left this world a long time ago, but while here, gifted my parents this painting. It has since been joined by a ceramic skunk he made for my mom and a very nice photograph of said cousin (he died quite young). 

So, these cabinets... filled with things like that. Like the LIFE magazine of the Kennedy funeral, a badly repaired Royal Copley sultan's head that used to be on top of the cupboard's in my grandmother's kitchen, an old flutophone in its original box, and things like that. What do I want with any of this? But... I also can't think of what to do with it. 

Thing is, now my younger sister is pawning off things she removes from my mother's house by giving them to me. Because she "knows" I will "really appreciate them". 

She only does that because she's in the same boat and can't figure out what to do with the stuff either. 

Clever little witch.

9/ If you had to move tomorrow, what would be the biggest pain in the ass to move? Could you live without it?

My mother's spinet piano. 

Oy, you should have seen how I got it down in the bunker. Such a circus.

And, no... I could not live without it. 

It was a present from my father. When my mother entered the empty nest stage of life, he gave it to her in the hopes that she would learn to play. I gave her lessons, but she would always lose interest and just ask me to play. 

I think the world of my Dad for having bought it for her. Brand new. 

So, when my Mom asked me if I wanted it. Yep. Absolutely. I got rid of all my electronic keyboards (something I regret - so much so, I recently bought a mint condition Roland Juno-2), and started only playing her piano. I have it in the middle of my big space, so that I can look over the top of it and see my living area and the little fire place. It makes me feel like I am playing in a dive bar or a depressing hotel lobby. 

I have fallen in love with the action of the keys. Having it tuned. It's sound (I've taken to playing with the soft pedal down throughout - like riding the clutch on a car) is so sharp and alive. I love dusting it and changing out the items that sit on top of it (Janis Ian's autobiography held court for five years). All the lyric sheets and cheat sheets and sheet music and half-baked scribbled attempts... I adore it all. It makes me feel like I am part of something larger than myself. Larger than my life. 

It's grandiose, of course. 

But I like the idea of being... something.

10/ What is the one thing that you own that is going to have people scratching their heads when they go through your stuff after you've died?

Hmmm... besides the two dildoes in my sock drawer?

Well, there are those boxes of stuff in the walk-in closet. Beanie babies. Where The Wild Things Are figurines still sealed in the box. That collection of Opus the penguin. Rug Rats Halloween dolls. Four antique dish sets (place settings for 16)(I had a thing about dinner parties - no, I rarely gave them, I just liked the idea of them). All that depression glass. 

(Yes, apples don't fall far...)

But the thing I think most will wonder about is that oil painting I have hanging over my toilet. It's by an ex of mine... and it's quite good and worth a little (he's a mucky muck). So, why above the toilet? Because, given how he treated me and how we ended and how I now feel about him? 

It's fitting.

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Your turn. Leave your answers in the comments section, or post them on your blog and leave me a link here. I enjoy learning a bit more about you each time we do this.

And, as always... thanks for reading.

It's My House - Diana Ross

A House Is Not A Home - Luther Vandross