Sunday Diva/Three From The Hip: Phoebe Snow

Sunday Diva/Three From The Hip:

Phoebe Snow

In my own, personal, big gay church, there is a wing dedicated to Those of the Heart. These are the singers, songwriters and muses who have spent a lifetime capturing various aspects of the human condition. Frequently, due to the whims of the music industry and the political climate, their lives and careers were not always their own... but they persevered... ultimately remaining true to their roles as seers of the heart. One such voice?

Phoebe Snow.

She's a survivor.

She's a warrior.

She's one hell of a mother.

Vocally unique, she can go from a caressing whisper to a Mama bear growl in seconds flat; that distinctive quaver to her voice coloring all.

In her heart of hearts, she wanted to be a rocker. And she was, in her own fashion.

They say she could have had it all... but what they don't realize is... she did. Again, in her own fashion.

Just as she was about to go into the studio to record her first album, she lost her mentor, Charlie. It was devastating, but she soldiered on and produced an album that defines her and brought fresh air to an entire generation of listeners.  

A year later, when her daughter, Valerie, was born, she was faced with a difficult choice. But she made the decision that was one she could live with, that was right for her; one which shaped the remainder of her life and her entire career as a singer.

Some sacrifices are worth the cost.

Our diva learned and experienced things one can learn no other way.

That Mama bear sound she can produce so easily? Well, there's a reality to that.

And when people asked her? She said she wouldn't have had it any other way.

The gospel according to her?

Well, here are three from the hip, dropping from her lips.

The topic? Valerie

"Valerie couldn't move, couldn't talk at first and we were told to forget it. She spent four months in the Rusk Institute when she was eighteen months old, and they told me she'd made no progress and there was a place where kids could go when they make no progress. In other words, these people's answer was to put her away. And I said no."

"I've given up a lot. You have to understand that when I say giving up a life, that's an understatement. Poetry Man came out in late '74, Valerie was born in late '75, and it's all been downhill from there in my career, which is my means of support for her. It's a cyclical thing, because she cuts into my career and even if she were a normal kid my career would cut into her life. yet I'm virtually the only thing she's got. When she's sick or has a nightmare, if I'm around, she goes like this..." (Phoebe raises her arms like a child asking to be held.) "To have a kid who's never done anything do that...that's heavy. The first time she did it I was - whoa. The first time she does anything is like New Year's Eve. Champagne! Confetti! That's the best part. It doesn't happen often, but when it does? Paaar-ty!"

"At the end of '77, I toured for five weeks while this young couple looked after Valerie. When I came home, she was literally starving herself, and I was virtually insane. I would say that I had a breakdown. I took her down South for treatments, and the doctor at a clinic there said to me, 'Have you ever thought about a little voluntary rest commitment for yourself?' I said, 'I've been away from my kid for over a month, and I'm not gonna do it again.' He said, 'What are you going to do when you tour again?' He said he knew a woman who would take Valerie while I was on tour, and I agreed to talk to her.

"That night, from my hotel room, I called the woman. She was a sweet, gentle lady. She told me she looked after five other kids, and so when she came to the clinic to meet me, I was gung ho. She asked when I was going on tour again. I said probably not for another six months. She said, 'Well, then, we'll take care of the adoption papers now.'

"I looked at her and said, 'You adopt them?' 'Oh yeah,' she said, 'I don't just babysit. I'm the adopted mother of these children.'

"I thought, 'Oh, God.' And for one hot minute I looked at her - you know how someone just oozes kindness and beauty? - and I thought, 'Well, maybe...maybe it'll be best.' And then I looked at my little girl who was lying there so messed up and I just said, 'No, thanks.' I never thought about it after that."

"The other night I met a person on the business side of this business who I decided it would be a real neat idea to get to know. So I went up to him with my Pepsodent smile and my hand outstretched, you know, and said, 'How ya doin'?'"

"He put his arm on my shoulder and said, 'May I be blunt with you?' I said, 'Sure.' He said, 'Why don't you level with me? You know and I know that you had it all. You could have been the biggest thing since I don't know what. But you blew it. You killed it! What did you do that for?'

"He said, 'Now I've heard about you, we've all heard about you, we know you're very sick. So why don't you face facts - you're very mentally disturbed, am I right? You're, like, really nuts?' He was facing me, and I went, 'Look, what's over there?' He turned, and I grabbed his head and said right into his ear, 'My daughter is severely brain-injured, and I don't want you to start nothin' with me, okay?'

"He jumped back and said, 'Hey! Eighty-six! Forget it!' And I said, 'And tell your friends who are saying I'm nuts that I say hi and the same to them. If they wanna start with me..."

Poetry Man - Phoebe Snow

The Married Men - Linda Ronstadt & Phoebe Snow

If I Can Just Get Through The Night - Phoebe Snow

And one last parting shot...

"They think that I botched everything up purposely, that I did a whole neurotic anti-success thing. There's probably some truth to that."

"Now I’m getting back into it, I’m still grieving horribly and having a tough time. I’m doing it at the moment just as a stabilizing influence in my life. I don’t know how I’m surviving the passing of my daughter."

"She came home with me and that’s where she lived for 31 years. Back then, the music industry saw that as a liability. But my daughter was the most amazing person."

"She was my universe, She was the nucleus of everything. I used to wonder, am I missing something? No. I had such a sublime, transcendent experience with my child. She had fulfilled every profound love and intimacy and desire I could have ever dreamed of."