Weekend Onesie: The Politics Of Gender Authenticity

Weekend Onesie: 

The Politics Of Gender Realness

I must confess, if I see a dude in women's lingerie or a frilly neon pink thong on Grindr? I block 'em.

Sorry. Just not for me. 

You see, I need to free up that space for someone I might be interested in, as I am not a member - therefore, the number of profiles I get to view are quite limited. But I do the same with bottoms and transgender people. That doesn't mean I don't support their rights to be who they need to be - oh, no! They are all deserving of parades to march in and I will be on the sidelines cheering them on. 

No, it's only a matter of creating opportunities for myself on Grindr.

It's also a matter of laziness. 

That's a lot of drama. 

Doesn't that seem like a lot of drama? 

And if there is one thing I don't want while enjoying a casual hook-up, it's dealing with someone else's personal baggage. I get it: pronouns are important and this is something relatively new and perhaps being a tad militant about declaring such things in a profile on a hook-up site is a great way to get the word out there, but it's a big turn off for me. It feels complicated. And since I'm a lazy gay, especially when it comes to Grindr, I'm gonna have to pass.

Because I know myself. I will slip up. In the heat of the moment, I will get it wrong. And I have enough of my own personal baggage, guilt and low self esteem to deal with as is, I don't need some 25 year-old shaming me for uttering the wrong pronoun in the heat of passion.

Yep.

Everything is not for everyone. 

And as body positive as I am, I just know there are limits to what get's my personal action going - and it's generally not women's clothing. That's not to say that if someone of the caliber of our Miss Maddie dropped out of the sky, into my little bunker dressed as Pam Demic I wouldn't give it a go. 

Yes, there are exceptions. 

And a man in a pair of fishnet stockings? Well, sign me up.

Hell, even certain Congressmen from North Carolina have been known to try on a pair.   

That's all a matter of preference.

But gender fluidity is not a matter preference. Nor is gender identity. Those are a matter of mental health. They're a matter of self discovery.  A matter of being true to who you are and being who you are. 

A matter of gender authenticity.

And that's to be respected.

Gender authenticity is not about penises and vaginas. No more than it's about feather boas and jock straps. It's about essence.

And a man wearing a piece of women's clothing? Well, sometimes a bra and panties is just a bra and panties. That stuff is like hair color or nail polish or piercings or tattoos; sometimes it has nothing to do with gender identity. Some men who are tops wear women's clothing because it simply makes them feel sexy.  

I get it. And I say... you go, gurl! Get your sexy on.

But that's not what's being attacked in the hallowed halls of congress and state legislatures throughout this not-so-fine country of ours. 

So, while you, like me... might not want to 'deal' with it because it's too 'difficult'  - well, walk a mile in the Manolo Blahniks or Air Jordans of our fluid brothers and sisters.  

Consider how you would feel if people addressed you or referred to you using the wrong pronouns?

Such people have to deal with those kind of difficulties for a lifetime. And when you throw politics on top of that? Man, that gets rough. And these folk have enough to cope with. 

So voice your support and show them some love... vote! 

Vote out these misinformed, ignorant politicians who can't seem to wrap their heads around this issue because they're too busy trying to secure funding from the NRA or improve their social media following, or are just too old, white, mean and stupid to do the right thing. Their lack of understanding and empathy is killing people - because when you deny someone the right to be who they are and you deny them the right to speak about who they are and what they are experiencing? Then? You are silencing them and, as we have learned all too well in the past, silence equals death.

Sound familiar? It should.

This is all our fight. It is all one in the same. 

We can't allow a bunch of bigoted, small-minded politicians to tell us which restroom we can use or what sports teams we can play on. They don't get to decide or define who we are. They don't get to legislate us or shame us or make us feel less than.

Don't let them silence any of us.

Use your voice and...

Vote!

Walk A Mile In My Shoes - Coldcut

Walking In My Shoes - Depeche Mode