Wonderland Burlesque's You Might Grow Up To Be A Mule Quiz - Part 5

Wonderland Burlesque's 

You Might Grow Up To Be A Mule Quiz

Part 5

Inspired by Bing Crosby's Swinging On A Star, this is the final such quiz in this series of five.

Simply fill in the blank for the topic suggested: If you had to be a ____ what would you be?

And why?

You can pick something you would like to be, something that reflects your current state or something that captures 'the real you.' Just have fun with it.

So, ask yourself...

If I had to be a ____, what would I be?

1/ A State In The US

Montana

Not politically, not socially or civilly.  

Geographically? Yes. I am Montana. 

Wide open spaces... which others would have certainly populated with something by now. 

Plenty of room to roam... which is good because very little keeps my attention for long.

The beautiful, somewhat lonesome prairie... heart of my heart, Camelot to my Arthur. 

A range of craggy mountain peaks... which serve as a warning not heeded often enough.

I would like to claim my scenery 'majestic'... however, at this point, it has seen better days and far too many.

And yet, I live beneath a big blue sky... my spiritual equal, my paramour divine. 

2/ A Country Other Than The US

The Netherlands

Fascinated with the oddest of pop music.

Welcoming to all, but fully evolved.

Possessing a twisted, almost legendary sexual past.

Steeped in culture, embracing both old and new. 

Once invaded and oppressed, they persevered and emerged stronger.

Somewhat difficult to navigate.

Smart.

Quirky and odd, in parts. Full of secrets.

A lover of freedom... and a good time!

3/ A Building

House On The Rock

Started with a good solid foundation, designed by Frank Lloyd Wright, no less. Yes, it's a deceptive beginning... a lure. Sounds good. But keep in mind: it's in Wisconsin. And once you get inside? It's small and claustrophobic. There's a dankness that doesn't go away. It gets in your sinuses and clothes. 

You thread your way through (were people tinier then?) to walk out on that peak. It's interesting... but why on earth? Wouldn't a bridge serve one better? At least it would have a purpose. Then you look to the left, and you see all the 'add-ons,' and you think 'what have I gotten myself into?

Junk. The place is full of junk. It is a completist's dream or nightmare, depending on the collection. There are a few things of great value, but it's hard to appreciate and separate them from all the other pointless junk.

A colossal tribute to the foibles of mankind, Madison Avenue and pop culture.  

There's a restaurant at the very bottom, but to eat would mean to spend more time.

You end up staying for hours anyway... mostly trying to find a way out. 

Most succeed, or manage to avoid it entirely. Those that don't? 

Well... there's no accounting for taste, now is there? 

More to be pitied, than scorned.

4/ A Moment In History

The Discovery Of Fire

That's how I feel while I research and write something; fire from my finger tips, fire in my eyes. I burn. 

It's an enjoyable sensation, one I live for. 

And just when I think the fire is dying... and begin to give up hope?

I rediscover that joy. I find something new to investigate. Down the rabbit hole I go and that fire is reignited once more.

5/ A Fairytale

The Ugly Duckling

Yes. I think I am a swan. An old, regal one. Beautiful? Never. But I had my... charms?

I was an ugly duckling. The world had no trouble telling me so, reminding me to keep my place.

I think of all the ducks that grew along side me. Handsome. All of a kind. Fitting in. Acceptable to one another. 

Oh, I don't mind. Maybe when I was young, I tried, but, I simply found my way to other ponds, where I met others like me. Sadly, we were all too messed up (psychological shrapnel from being ugly ducklings) to be kind to one another. Instead, we played ugly duckling games. 

And there was always a loser. 

And sometimes... it was me.

But time is an ugly duckling's greatest friend. For we flower and discover ourselves (and our powers) much later than the other ducklings, emerging, not superior but differently. Our talents, a different nature, our posture earned. If there be grace, it moves slowly through us, as all we seek is calm.

6/ A Sporting Event

The Super Bowl Halftime Show

My disdain for organized religion is rivaled only by my lack of appreciation for organized sports.

A great deal of money is tied up in both and their need to exist baffles me.

But that halftime show? Yes. Big, loud, stupid, frequently glitzy. Sign me up. 

I'm all for outrageous displays of ego and questionable taste wrapped up in the pop hits of yesteryear.

Why... I do believe I've just defined my entire life.

7/ An Athlete

A Side-Push Man On A Four-Man Bobsled Team

Yes. I love starting things. Pushing them. Moving them forward until that tipping point is reached when gravity grabs hold and the future becomes something unknown but unstoppable. There will be a conclusion, but... my work done, I hop in the center and huddle down. Oh, I use my weight to encourage and sway, for I would like to think I still have some control over the outcome. But in the end... there is the end, the finish line. And other than giving it that one big push? 

The results have so little to do with me, and therefore, I can easily escape all blame for failure, while taking credit when successful.  

And no, Herschel Walker is not welcome in my bobsled. Because he's a homophobic dickhead...

Which is probably why he got kicked off the Olympic Team at the last minute back in 1992!

8/ A Profession

The Man At The End Of The Parade Who Cleans Up After The Elephants

This is how I have viewed my life. I am the catch-all at the bottom of the drain. I do the stuff no one else wants to do. I have become a bit more selfish as I get older, but I used to drive myself mad, taking care of things no one else would step up to do. 

I have a love for shared spaces, like conference rooms, office kitchenettes, rehearsal rooms, etc. I like them clean and tidy. I want the next group that walks in to feel those who previously used it cared enough. It's called consideration for others. 

This weird need/desire extends to the homes of loved ones and my own. No, it doesn't have to be perfect, but why shouldn't it look the best it can? 

My career, such as it is, has been nothing but taking care of the needs of others. What do they need to be successful? For their success, in part, becomes my success. If I must hold their hand and do mundane tasks in order for them to succeed, that's fine with me. 

It's an odd way to spend a life, but... even during my theatre days, that was my attitude. I would arrive an hour before rehearsals to sweep the stage. I was always trying to keep things orderly and looking nice, so that the mess which typically accompanies a group gathering would not distract from the work.

I'll be this way the rest of my life. I think it stems from events in my childhood. As children, we have no control over our lives, but strive to divine a means in order to cope. Somewhere along the line, the message I received was that by keeping up appearances, we are able to enact positive change... or at least put a passable facade on an untenable situation.

9/ A Politician

Kamala Harris

I don't like how this character is currently being written or portrayed.

If I were her, I would be out there - outspoken, calling it like it is; a lightening rod for the ire of the far right. None of this polite, professional crap. I'd be a warrior with no fucks to give, going toe to toe with scum like MTG and calling out Manchin as the turncoat he has proved himself to be.

I would be working the progressive agenda, educating the public regarding its benefits with a common sense approach.

Given who this lady used to be? How we could count on her to speak the truth? I have no idea what is going on with her. I don't recognize her anymore. 

I'd be combative and forthright and honest. I would use my words. And I couldn't care less about what the future would hold for me from a political standpoint. The future is now. This is my shot. I would assume I'd have four years to tell it like it is.

The American people have a difficult relationship with the truth. 

I'd make it my duty to get them better acquainted.
 

10/ A Law

No Littering

This goes beyond those that leave their used condoms and condom wrappers at my beloved prairie. Beyond the occasional left-behind beverage container, or people who don't bus their own garbage at the local coffee shop.

This is about those people who eat fast food in their cars and then, not wanting that garbage to smell of up their vehicle, toss it out the car window into the street and drive away.  Their trash is now someone else's problem.

Littering is the height of inconsideration. It is a blatant demonstration of thoughtlessness, an affront to human decency and a tangible means of polluting our environment. 

Your garbage. I don't want to see it. I don't want to deal with it. You need to grow up and take some damn responsibility. 

So, as the littering law? I will have teeth. I will be enforced. I will hunt these people down and publicly shame them to the point their own mothers will regret every having birthed them. 

No. I don't know how I am going to accomplish any of that. I just wish I could.

I wish people cared. I wish people were responsible. 

I guess the main theme of my life is... I wish people would kindly take care of their own shit. 

--- ---

That's enough of me. And this is the last of our You Might Grow Up To Be A Mule quizzes! (Though I reserve the right to resurrect the concept should something inspire me to do so.)

Okay, your turn. Leave your answers and explanations in the comments section. Those of you who participate? I adore reading your answers and learning a bit more about you.

That's all for now. Until next time...

Thanks for reading... and participating! 

Swinging On A Star - Loretta Long 

 from Sesame Street

Swinging On A Star - The Lennon Sisters

from The Lawrence Welk Show