Wonderland Burlesque's At Your Service Quiz

Wonderland Burlesque's

At Your Service Quiz

What triggered this? 

Answer: Not long ago, I was at the vets, waiting for them to come out to the parking lot (Covid) to retrieve one of The Boyfriend's cats. It was a scheduled appointment and it had all been reconfirmed the day before. We get there and are told they need to complete some paperwork for the visit and then they will be out to fetch our cat. We wait twenty minutes. We were on time. Why weren't they? 

I know things happen, but I couldn't help but think they need to be more proactive and have the paperwork for the next day's appointments filled out the day before the appointment. 

Yes. I have issues with service. I constantly critique and am one of those people who take to Google to review the restaurants and shops I visit. And, as you know... I can be highly critical. 

So, that experience is the inspiration behind today's quiz. 

The first four questions begin with 'Have you ever...'

At the end, you'll supply a story about exceptional service and one about less than acceptable service, or as I term it: I want The Good and The Bad and, maybe even The Ugly!

But first, I'm turning the table on you.

Working our way through college or at some stage during our development, or perhaps as part of our chosen career, most of us have had to supply some type of service - waiting tables or ushering at a movie theatre, for example. I want those stories.

Let's get started, shall we?

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1/ Have you ever worked retail? In big box store? Share your experience.

The Good:

I liked my days in retail. In retrospect. At the time? Not so much. Back when I was a young thing, these gigs paid nothing... as in, your jaw would drop if I told you how much my take home was after giving 40 hours of my time. 

That kind of poverty mindset helps evolve a couple of different perspectives in the workplace. At Woolworth's, downtown Minneapolis, in the IDS Tower (the tallest building in Minneapolis at that time), there was a sense of comradery; almost a family feel. I adored all the older ladies I got work with and some of the young guns, too. They all thought I was odd - first because I was doing theatre and my life revolved around it, and secondly because I had left JCPenney to come work with them - but I won them over and they came to trust me, and I, in turn, came to appreciate their family vibe. 

The other group poverty wages creates? Those who are there to steal everything in sight. That was one of the reasons I left JCPenney. That place was rife with thieves - really clever ones. There was the window dresser who worked late night and would have her boyfriend drive up to the loading dock so she could fill his car with all the stuff she wanted. And a small ring who had a refund scam going, where a ton of cash went directly into their pockets. I helped bust both schemes. But I didn't like myself much. 

At Woolworths? I managed the record department and I adored it. The latest releases. Doing end caps featuring music I cared about. Discounting old merchandise and getting first crack at the cut outs bin albums when they arrived. My whole paycheck was basically being spent on all the bargains I kept finding. 

So, I never had any money. It was awful. And I didn't realize just how poor I was until I got an apartment with an actress friend of mine and it all ended very badly because I couldn't afford my rent. 

The best service I ever gave? I think it was the homeless lady who bought a little cassette player with headphones that we sold for $9.99, Every other week, she would be at my counter, wanting a replacement. I tried to explain to her about batteries and how if she wanted something to last she should consider buying something at a higher price bracket... but how young and dumb was that? In the end, during the two years I was there? I simply traded her used one for a new one every two weeks and did it with a smile. She was not a sweet lady. She was mean. And smelled. But then, in comparison, I was privileged... so who was I to make her life more difficult?   

The Bad:

At JCPenney, in downtown Minneapolis, I worked in the Sporting Goods/Toy Department. I loved the toy department. It was so much fun. And I got to do these little endcaps where I would create scenes using paper mache or whatever I could find... the display department was very supportive. 

This was the store where, one day, in the elevator I asked my department manager if he was alright. He physically attacked me, pushing me up against the back wall of the elevator, got in my face and told me to mind my own business. He then threw me down into the corner of the elevator, and walked out when the doors re-opened. 

But I had my worst experiences in the athletic footwear section. 

Men do not take good care of their feet. That's just a general statement. I don't know if it's because of the time period or what, but dealing with folks stinky ass feet brought out the crazy in me. And my favorites were the ones who would demand a certain size and it would turn out to be the wrong size, then they would ask if I could I go back and see if we had it in a half size larger... and when you got back to them? They would be gone. And so would the shoes. I wised up fast.

But never did get used to all those stinky ass feet...

2/ Have you ever worked for a small retailer or a small shop in a mall?

The Good

My second Christmas in L.A. I was so lonely I took a part time job in the evenings and on weekends at a video/movie memorabilia shop in Century City. All I had to do was straighten shelves and assist customers looking for a particular item. It was boring, but at least I got to be around people in the mad crush before the holidays. 

I liked the size of the shop. No way you could get lost there. And you couldn't possibly work there without knowing every item in that store. There was some cool stuff.

Christmas eve was my last shift and it was very sad. I didn't make any friends. None of the people who worked there were interested in getting to know anyone; for them it was just a paycheck. Still, the bustle of the mall and the incredibly privileged people who shopped there made my holidays a bit less lonely.

The Bad

That would be the time I worked overnights at a gas station on Chicago Avenue. 

I was behind thick, bulletproof glass, but that still did not prevent all the crazies from coming in and terrorizing me on a nightly basis.

The worst was after bar rush when they wanted to use the restroom. We had a restroom. The door was to my left, behind the bulletproof glass, and customers were not allowed to use it. That didn't stop them from throwing a tantrum. 

I think I saw it all during those hours. Lots of drive offs. Lots of stealing. The occasional gun. 

And I got hit on a lot. Only took one of them up on it, though. It was the start of my slide into casual sex. 

It all ended the night of the Rodney King verdict when I was beaten up on my way to work by a group of kids breaking car windows. 

3/ Have you ever waited tables? Share your experience.

The Good:

I had a lot of fun as part of the morning crew at a 24-hour family-owned restaurant. I worked with a group of old pros - it was like being part of a sitcom with actors from central casting. The former beauty queen was my favorite. She never showed up without a full face of make-up and her hair done to perfection. She was in her late 30's, but looked like a young Bette Davis with a cigarette hanging on her lip. She never dated, though she'd married and divorced at a very young age.


She caught us all by surprise when she announced her engagement to a twenty-two year old marine who had been coming in late-night and sitting at her counter. It was like An Officer And A Gentleman come to life, we were all so happy for her. 

The fun all ended when the family sold out to a big corporation. Everything changed, and I did not understand, so I fought it and lost... yes, my days were numbered.

But it was fun while it lasted.

The Bad:

I tried to graduate to full-service with wine and drinks. It was a hot spot and the whole thing was very homophobic and harsh. I only lasted a month. The head chef took an instant dislike to me and would hold back all my food and then flood the window with all my orders. 

He's also the one that chased me around the kitchen waving a butcher knife. Everyone in  the kitchen was mean and the owners didn't care. I tried to tell them about my experience and they told me it was my responsibility to get along with everyone. 

Six months after I left, they had to shut their doors.

Fact is, I just couldn't cut it. It was hard to admit, but the whole experience did prompt me to return to college. 

4/ Have you ever held any other type of job where you provided service of some kind to someone?

The Good:

I did a lot of temp work. In Minneapolis and L.A. In both cases, I walked into the temp agency and they had a job and no one to take it, so I just volunteered and said I'd do it. After looking at my resume', they both took me up on it. In L.A. I worked for three agencies at once. 

The weirdest gig was probably as the receptionist at this clothing company. I never understood what took place in the shop behind the swinging doors, yet... I didn't seem to have much to do other than a little bit of data entry and answer the phones. No one ever took calls, so I just took messages. 

It all ended the day the owner came in. He was from Italy. He spoke to me for two seconds, turned to his assistant and said he wanted a girl at the front desk and to get rid of me. 

I don't think any of the temp jobs really qualify as 'good.' Although I did have a two week gig over the holidays when it was just me and this other woman in this huge office in a glass tower. I showed up the first day, she pointed to a desk by the window and told me that was where I sat. The phone never rang. And other than sorting a pile of papers at one point, the lady never gave me anything to do. I think I was there so she wouldn't be alone in the office. 

I wrote a lot. There was nothing else to do, as this was before cell phones and before I had discovered all the sexual activity taking place in the various men's rooms in downtown Minneapolis. 

So, I just twiddled my thumbs. 

The Bad:

That would be the Jewish foundation raising funds to send kids to Jerusalem. 

They wanted me to sign all these fundraising appeals as Larry King. I have no doubt that Larry King endorsed the foundation and its cause, but I didn't feel comfortable doing that and told them so. Instead, I stuffed envelopes. Eventually they got mad at me and asked me to leave. The other workers wouldn't speak to me and the agency was also mad at me. 

Fortunately, the next job I got sent out on led to a full-time job. 

When temping, you are at the mercy of whoever is in charge of you. 

5/ Tell me about a time you received outstanding service.

I have good luck with waiters and catering staff. I always end up having a lovely time.

The catering staff I routinely work with for work functions is amazing. They will turn on a dime and always make me look good. They're so polished and know all about my quality standards, so any event they help me with ends up making the right impression.

Waiters are easy to get on board, unless they're crabby patties. If they want to give you terrible service, they will, but they know they're livelihood depends on your tip. Respect them and treat them as equals and you are on your way to a pleasant evening. 

Piss them off? Do so at your peril. 

Building rapport is important, but it's important do so respectfully. They are professionals. Allow them to do their job - they'll take good care of you. 

I have had several birthday dinners that turned out just wonderfully thanks to a helpful server. Those are the kind of nights that make going out worthwhile. .

6/ Tell me about a time when you were outraged by the service you received.

For my birthday, The Ex pre-paid a huge amount of money to have my car detailed. The people who did it actually left it in worse condition than when I brought it in. 

The floorboards were soaked with water. There were streaks of armor all all over the place. The windows were filthy. The steering wheel was weirdly sticky. 

I complained immediately and was met with indifference. 

My only recourse was to go on-line and write several scathing reviews on various sites (Google, Yelp, etc.) detailing my experience. I was so angry. 

It made me feel better, but my floorboards were still soaked with water.

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And that's all for today.

Your turn. Leave your answers in the comments section or post on your blog and leave a link here.

Until next time...

Thanks for reading... and participating.

Be Our Guest

from the animated motion picture Beauty And The Beast

Be Our Guest

from the live action motion picture Beauty And The Beast