Wonderland Burlesque's Let's Go To The Movies: College Girls Edition

Wonderland Burlesque's 

Let's Go To The Movies: College Girls Edition

Ah, nothing inspires like the thought of teen girls going off to college! Why, it's their first opportunity to get a taste of the world minus parental guidance. 

Boy, I sure hope the make good choices. 

But... what if they don't?

Don't worry. Hollywood has it covered. Sex-starved, boy-crazy girls! Dance crazes to the latest groovy groups' songs on the hit parade! Monkeys! Monsters! And men, men, men!

Who has time to go to class? Not these swingin' chicks. Higher education is for those girls who wear glasses. If you're young and beautiful? The world is your oyster and you're the perfect pearl!

What are they there to earn? Why a degree in love, you silly thing!

Well, what are we waiting for? Let's go off to college! 

Get Yourself A College Girl

"The swingin'-est blast ever filmed." 

(This might actually be quite the hoot to see. Not just for the sight of prissy-mouthed Mary-Ann Mobley shaking her ass in her underwear, but to see those musical guests; The Animals! Stan Getz and Astrud Gilberto! What a wonderful time capsule this movie must be.)

"The hip-est, happiest show ever filmed."

(Mary-Ann Mobley, a former Miss America, would go on to marry Gary Collins and the two would then spend years co-hosting The Annual Miss America Pageant. And Chad Everett would go on to star in the hit television show Medical Center. He was also an arrogant chauvinist who once made comments on The Dick Cavett Show which were so offensive, Lily Tomlin, who was also a guest, walked off the show and refused to return!)

(And then there's also one of my favorite divas... the untouchable Nancy Sinatra!)

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College Girls

"What is college life... but... kicks!"

(This is the actual poster for this film. That's it. Now, I realize it may be nothing more than a cheap exploitation film, but, come on! A little design work wouldn't have killed 'em.)

(It was also marketed as College Girls Confidential, so it fit in with a line of 'Confidential' films by this director/producer, Stephen C. Apostolof - who is the subject of a very enlightening documentary titled Dad Made Dirty Movies.)

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Sex Kittens Go To College!

"Never before has the screen had so much fun with a student body!"

(There's a monkey in this movie. Always the sign of a good, quality motion picture.)

(Also, our favorite bad girl, Mamie Van Doren and Tuesday Weld.)

(Oh, and... here's Conway Twitty.)

"You never saw a student body like this!"

"More fun than a barrel of people!"

(Oh, dear... they even advertise Mijanou as Brigitte Bardot's sister. As if sex-appeal is genetic? Well, maybe it is. I certainly wouldn't know. I recently saw Brigitte in a movie with Jimmy Stewart and the little boy from Lost In Space. One of the oddest screenplays I could ever imagine. The boy had a gift for picking horses, Jimmy and this crew of folk lived on a houseboat, and the boy's greatest wish was to meet Brigitte Bardot - which is why she was in the movie. It was such a bizarre concept and there was so much horrible red flocked wallpaper involved... I couldn't take my eyes off it.)

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Sex And The College Girl

"Party girls, party boys."

"No holds barred!"

"Fun lovers excitement!"

"...Of the male and female togetherness!"

"In shocking, blushing color."

(Based on the quality of this poster and it's design... I think the producers are promising more than they deliver. Just a hunch.)

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College Confidential

"No film ever dared touch this theme before!"

"It's like a Kinsey Report on the campus - Walter Winchell"

(This is a rather interesting cultural artifact. Check out that cast. Allen and Meadows were married, and I bet are playing a Kinsey-like pair of researchers. Critic Walter Winchell is actually third-billed! Mamie Van Doren, of course. Cathy Crosby - the B-movie queen - not the future Mrs. Bing or Cathy Lee. And, of course... here's Conway Twitty. I had no idea Conway had a movie career!)

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Campus Confidential 

"A true story of off-campus activities."

"This picture is recommended for adults." 

(Really? Rita Moreno? Something tells me this has never played an important part on her resume'. But the lady always did whatever was handed her by the studios... up to a point.)

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Campus Confidential

"5 college girls..."

"5 girls looking for fun and games in the college of kicks!"

"Each girl has a story of her own... See the truth."

(Not the same film as the one with Rita Moreno. In fact, I bet the two films never played the same theatres.) 

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Monster On The Campus

"Co-ed beauty captive of man-monster!"

"Campus terror!"

"Students victims of terror-beast!"

("If Troy Donahue could be a movie star...")

(Joanna Moore is the mother of Tatum and Griffin O'Neal and the former wife of Ryan. She was quite the beauty and had a healthy career as an actress... until drugs and alcohol came into the picture.) 

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Sorority Girl

"The shock-by-shock confessions of a..."

(Many of you may remember B-movie Queen Susan Cabot from her stellar performance in the horror/sci-fi classic, The Wasp Woman, which was her final film. Cabot met a bad end. After spending years battling a debilitating mental illness and living in a hoarder house, she was beaten to death by her only child, a son, who served only two and half years in prison due to mitigating circumstances.)

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Secrets Of A Sorority Girl

"A peek behind the closed door... of the innermost secrets of campus co-eds!"

(You know that this movie probably has all the charm and wit of an army hygiene film.)

"Secrets of campus cuties never before told... except to their diaries!"

(Gee, I can't imagine what such girls write in their diaries? 'Dear Diary, today in algebra, Alan wouldn't even look at me. Last night, he was all over me like like ketchup on a juicy burger. I mean, seriously... it was in my hair, all over my dress and I even got some in my eye. I wonder if he's still taking me to the fraternity social on Saturday, or if he now thinks of me as one-of-those kind of girls?' 

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And that's all for today.

Tune in next time...

Same time, same channel!

Thanks for reading!

Intermission Time!