Wonderland Burlesque's Let's Go To The Movies: An Absolute Disaster Edition, Part II

Wonderland Burlesque's

Let's Go To The Movies:

An Absolute Disaster Edition, Part II

Last week's Let's Go To The Movies was all about various modes of transportation and the terrible things that could happen. 

This week it's the elements and mother nature having their way.

Ah, there's nothing like the fury of a woman scorned.

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The Towering Inferno

"One tiny spark becomes a night of blazing suspense."

"The tallest building in the world is on fire. You are there with 294 other guests. There is no way down. There is no way out."

(My favorite disaster film.)

(Adore those big name head shots. That's glamor!)

(Look at that cast! Susan Blakely was gorgeous. Fred Astaire did a lovely turn as a con man who falls in love with an intended mark, he ends up with her cat. And, despite all the testosterone, Faye Dunaway steals the damn show merely being eye candy. As for Richard Chamberlain? Oh, you despise him by the end. One of his best performances.)

(As a kid, I adored this film. I actually saw it in the theatre. It was the glamor of the occasion. I fell in love with Faye Dunaway and her terrible synthetic gown. I bought the novelization of the movie and reenacted scenes from this one in the basement for years.)

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City On Fire

(Featuring disaster specialists Susan Clark, Shelly Winters, and Henry Fonda, who always had his name added last for some reason.)

"What happened to them, could happen to you... in any city, anywhere."

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Fire

"Another burning sensation from the producer of The Towering Inferno"

(Another burning sensation! Oh, no. Where, now? That doctor promised me that salve would take care of it!)

(Ernest Borgnine is on board this television movie disaster, along with Vera Miles, Patty Duke, and Donna Mills. )

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Earthquake 

"An event..."

(As opposed, to say... a movie?)

(Disaster heavyweights Charlton Heston, Ava Gardner, George Kennedy.)

(This was a huge success - in Sensurround - but the cracks in the formula were already starting to show.)

(The only other films to utilize Sensurround? Midway, Rollercoaster, a Star Wars documentary and several Battlestar Galactica offerings.)

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Avalanche

"A winter wonderland becomes a nightmare of destruction."

(Poor Mia Farrow climbed onto the bandwagon a little late in the game and with Roger Corman, no less. By the time she made her disaster debut, the genre was on the wane. Well, at least she had Rock Hudson on hand to shoulder some of the blame. This movie was panned like a trout.)

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Tidal Wave

"The ultimate disaster."

"Earthquakes shatter the nation. Cities become raging firestorms. But the worst is yet to come!"

(That description sells this film short. This is actually the very worst.)

(So this film, like a couple of the Godzilla movies, is actually a Japanese film with scenes of disaster specialist Lorne Greene spliced into it make it look as if he's part of the film. A terrible, cheap ass way of making a film, Roger Corman. But that logo? Nice ripoff job.)

"When this wave hits, millions will die!"

(Of boredom?)

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Flood

Sudden! Overpowering! Terrifying!

(Another Irwin Allen television program. He was slated to deliver six such features. 

This one has Robert Culp, Barbara Hershey, Carol Lynley and Roddy McDowell.)

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Hurricane

"An overwhelming passion that not even nature could destroy"

(This is Mia Farrow's other contribution to the genre. By the time it hit the theatres, the disaster film craze was dead. So....)

(...the marketing department quickly shifted gears and began pushing this as the new Blue Lagoon/Endless Love. Does that poster look familiar? Does it scream disaster film to you?)

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When Time Ran Out

"Caught in a game of power. Playing time: 24 hours. Prizes: untold wealth. Rules: none."

(Paul Newman and William Holden are back with The Deep's Jacqueline Bisset.)

(Expect Holden to pace about a room ramming his fist on a desk demanding stuff urgently.)

(Yes, time did indeed run out... for this genre.)

(Ernest Borgnine is also on board. Someone get that man a real job.)

(I think the stars fared better on this foreign market poster.)

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Meteor

"It's five miles wide... its coming at 30,000 m.p.h.... and there's no place on earth to hide!"

(Shades of movies to come (Armageddon, Deep Impact,) Natalie Wood and Sean Connery jump on board the bandwagon to little effect. Henry Fonda is also in there... added last, again.)

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The Swarm

"...is coming."

(And this, my dears, was the nail in the coffin that sealed this genre's fate... for a time. The notion of killer bees were all the rage, but by the time this bloated extravaganza zoomed into theatres, they were more myth than fact. The buzz on this one? It was a dud, D.O.A., despite an all-star cast that included disaster regulars Michael Caine, Patty Duke, and Lee Grant with a slumming Katherine Ross and Olivia De Haviland taking great umbrage.)

(See! Ripped from the previous year's headlines!)

(Poor Richard Chamberlain. I guess not even his closet could protect him from the swarm.)

(But don't worry. I hear he's used to having all sorts of things on his face.)

(I can't tell if Olivia is terrified of the bees or horrified that she's in this movie.)

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And that's all for today.

Tune in next week...

Same time, same channel.

Intermission Time!