Wonderland Burlesque's Whatta Doll Quiz

Wonderland Burlesque's 

Whatta Doll Quiz

I was going to do a completely different quiz when I came to a realization about quizzes in general. If they're not fun to take? Why bother?

I'd come up with something I thought rather clever (it was a bit too tortured) - a four part quiz. I started writing the first part, but kept feeling something was wrong. 

It wasn't fun. It didn't flow. It wasn't effortless. I had to think too much. 

A quiz needs to be fun. So, as I went about my morning routine, the idea for today's quiz struck me and... bingo! Sat down to write it, the questions came quickly, and the answers came even quicker. 

So, lesson learned. If a quiz is a struggle? It's not worth the effort. 

Today? It's all about dollies!  Dolls are everywhere and touch everyone's life at one point or another. What's your take? Your experience? Your opinion?  Share away and enjoy!

1/ As a child, were you told that dolls were for girls and trucks were for boys? Your reaction?

I got the message, though I don't recall who delivered it. I think it may have been my older sister. She always had issues with who I was and what I did.

That said, I don't recall anyone putting a firm foot down. Everybody knew I was 'different.' So, while giving me side eye, they just let me do my thing. 

Both kids and adults. I think they found me simply too weird to mess with.

2/ Did you ever play 'dolls' as a child? What kind of stories did you act out and what role did you play?

Oh, yes, with my two younger sisters. 

We played 'family' all the time. The Daddy went to 'work' and had to come home and take care of the babies because the Mommy was at her wits end with all the terrible children. And we had to get ready and go to church and take communion. We used cornflakes as the host. My older brother was always the priest. 

'Babies' ranged from a doll named Tippy Toes - who could ride a bike, Velvet - who had hair you could pull out of the top of her head to make it long or wind it back up using a knob on her back, Benji - a stuffed animal based on the movie dog of the same name, Raggedy Ann, a monkey with a banana in one hand that you could fit into his mouth, a yellow bean bag baby, and a tall, hard-plastic doll that you could hold it's hand and make walk. 

There was lots of pretend meal preparation and eating going on. Baths. Diaper changing. Driving in 'the car.' 

And spanking. 

Because (as we all know) all babies are bad. Very, very bad.

3/ Did you ever play Barbies? Own one? What kind of stories did you act out?

My introduction to Barbie was a changing point in my life. It would define me.

I was very young - maybe three or four years old? It was Christmas and we went to my Aunt Carol's house. Her eldest daughter received a Barbie from Santa. 

I spent the whole day playing with that doll. I was fascinated. Changing clothes. I used a book shelf as an apartment building. 

The grown ups noticed, but other than my mother asking what I was doing, nobody bothered me. My cousin was real nice and let me play with that doll. She went and got another doll and used it. 

We were having such a great time, I asked if I could stay overnight. It was my first sleepover. 

When my sisters got Barbies, I wanted to play, too. I remember dyeing all the dolls hair red with this cheap toy hair dye. Made a mess. My older sister cut all the doll's hair off. But, that was okay... Midge had wigs!

No, they were not new dolls. The Peterson girls, who lived at the farm next to ours and would babysit, gave us their old toys. I wish I still had that Midge doll. Those wigs were awesome. You could turn them inside out and they became helmets. 

My mother finally broke down and got me an Alan doll for Christmas. Alan is Ken's best friend. He arrived wearing an open rainbow beach shirt, shorts and cork sandals. I took him to show and tell in second grade and pulled his pants down to show the class that he had a bump. 

Even though I had Alan, I still played with the Barbies... all the way into high school. I just adored them. I would try to design outfits for her. She was a Malibu Barbie with bendy legs. So, lots of summer colors. She also had a cardboard house with cardboard furniture. And 'a career,' like Mary Richards on the Mary Tyler Moore show. Except what that exactly entailed was never determined. 

And going out on dates! With G.I. Joe, or Johnny West, or Action Jackson (who was two short, but a nice guy who paid for dinner, so - could do worse.) Jane West was around, too... 

...but we knew to avoid her. (All she wanted to talk about was horses.)

In fact, Barbie made fun of and looked down on all the other dolls - especially those celebrity dolls or the knock-off Barbies that came from the dollar store. They were cheap trash who lived on the wrong side of the tracks.

I never tired of it. 

Once I retire? I might buy myself a Barbie and start playing again. I think it's good for the imagination. 

I also like the gowns.  And the carrying cases.

So, the thing that I remember loving the most? The little booklets that came with the dolls. They showed all the items available for Barbie. I spent hours looking at that stuff. I wanted it all.

I think that's where my 'completest' complex comes from. 

Yes, like Barbie, herself... I wanted it all.

4/ Did you have action figures as a child? Which? What kind of stories did you act out?

Besides Alan, I had Action Jackson - who came with a ton of outfits: karate, scuba diver, army, etc. 

And there was Billy Blastoff. He came with a series of vehicles and terrains. He powered the vehicles with his battery-powered jet pack. You could also plug in a television or a ray gun. He remains my favorite toy of all time.

There was G.I. Joe, but my older brother bogarted him and all his stuff. That's why I ended up with Action Jackson. There was also Johnny West. He came with a horse. So did his sister(?) Jane. 

Travelling on airplanes was a big deal, so that played into a lot of the scenarios we came up with. We also acted out a lot of movies - all based on the television commercials, for we rarely actually got to see movies in the theatre. And there were lots of 'fires,' shopping, and cancer. 

Yes, Barbie was always going to the hospital and dying of cancer. And Midge, that bitch... she would take that opportunity to steal Barbie's boyfriend. No worries. It proved the motivation that Barbie needed in order to make a miraculous recovery just in time to ruin Midge's wedding.

5/ Do you have a friend or relative that collects dolls?

I have a cousin who collects 'Precious Moments' figurines. Creepy as hell. She's very serious about them. Glass cases of them. Lit like a museum. Coincidentally, the same cousin that introduced me to Barbie.

My youngest sister used to seriously collect Barbies. Bob Mackie gowns and the like. But then she had a house fire (most of the Barbies were fine) and she lost her taste for collecting things. She still has some very beautiful dolls. But they live on shelves in a closet in room she never spends time in.

And I attended a dinner party in Honolulu once. A giant, decaying house owned by a couple of older queens. The house was stuffed to the gills with antiques and... dolls. It was a little claustrophobic and a whole lotta creepy. I kept imagining them inviting unsuspecting young men in and then turning them into dolls.

When they showed me their collection, I was real polite and kept saying 'how beautiful.' But inside, I was cringing. Too much lace. Too much everything. There was a large room with shelves filled with dolls - floor to ceiling. It reminded me of a room you might find in The House On The Rock, in Wisconsin or in a horror movie.

I stood in the doorway, but wouldn't go in.

You know, just in case they attacked.

6/ Do you currently have a doll (of any sort) in the house or packed away?

I have a Johnny Depp action figure. I got it as part of a white elephant gift exchange one Xmas. From some movie. It's still in the original packaging, never opened. I don't want it. But I can't bring myself to donate it because it might be worth something some day. 

Yeah. I know. No... it will never be worth anything, and certainly not worth the space it occupies in my storage area. 

I also own three Rugrats Halloween figures. Also still in the box.  I can't part with them because the completest in me wants to try and find the whole set. 

The only ones I have out? 

My Todderick Hall Youtooz Figurine (still in the box.)

And... my  Coco Peru plush doll (still in it's cloth bag.)

I want to be buried with both of them.

7/ Any experience with ventriloquist dummies? Creepy? 

Ventriloquist dummies are creepy. Dislike them all. And that Jeff Dunham is a total racist azzwipe.

Wait. I loved Wayland Flowers and Madame. They are a part of gay history. And a scream. I understand the stage show was a lot more fun than anything that appeared on television. Wish I had been there to see it. 

And I did enjoy the film Magic with Anthony Hopkins and Ann Margaret. 

I always thought Michael York would make a great ventriloquist dummy.

8/ Did you ever make or play with puppets as a child?

I spent my childhood doing arts and crafts. Stupid stuff. Like toilet roll holders made from coffee cans and contact paper. And I made scented candles. But, on my own, I created puppets. Checked out books about them from the library. Studied and created them out of various materials; socks, paper, cardboard, papier-mâché'... that sort of thing.

I even sawed and constructed a working marionette - this little wooden man. I cut all the pieces (very shabby) and put him together with tiny steel screw eye hooks.

I couldn't afford sandpaper, so he stayed ugly . I never put a face on him or dressed him. 

In the end? He made me very sad. 

So, I stopped making puppets.

9/ Ever watch a horror story featuring a doll, ventriloquist dummy, or puppet? Any you can recommend?

I've seen 'em all. And they are all... TERRIBLE.

Not a scare in the bunch. 

The Puppet Master franchise is so badly written and executed. Chucky? Worth a chuckle, but not scary.

I  think the only one I ever cared for was the Amelia segment of Trilogy Of Terror with Karen Black. Watching her eyes trying to escape from her head? More entertaining that that fetish doll skittering about trying to kill her. I adore that lady. She is one of my all-time favorite actresses and I would happily buy that broad a drink.

But the worst of the bunch? 

Those Annabelle movies. The producers are also responsible for the Conjuring franchise.

The Boyfriend makes me watch all of them and every time I say...

Those people need to stop making movies!

10/ What do you think of the whole 'sex doll' movement? Would you ever own one? Find them sexy? Would you have sex with one?

To each their own. 

I own a dildo. I used it three times. It now sits in a drawer for my niece to find when she paws through my belongings after I am dead. 

So, I understand the desire. The need.

But, it is so not for me. 

Imagine the 'new plastic' smell? 

And how cold it would be. (Do they come with heater unit in them?)

Not for me. But then - to each their own.

I don't find them sexy. Nor do I find the idea of fucking around with one very interesting or intriguing.

A fleshlight, on the other hand....???

--- ---

Ah, this one was fun. 

I miss playing Barbies! Anyone else?

Okay, your turn. You know what to do.

Leave your answers in the comments section, or post it on your blog and leave a link. 

That's all for now.

And, as always... thanks for reading. And participating!

Plastic Doll - Lady Gaga

Doll Parts - Hole