Wonderland Burlesque's Let's Go To The Movies: It's A Real Drag Edition, Part I

Wonderland Burlesque's 

Let's Go To The Movies

It's A Real Drag Edition, Part I

Yes, it's back to the races. But to hell with street racing. That's kid stuff.

No, this? This is the real deal. 

Think of it as a primer for NASCAR. 

Yes, around and around they go. Where the stop? 

Well, only Hollywood knows! 

So put the pedal to the metal, drop that throttle and hit the bottle... it's time for some B-movie magic - drag strip style! 

Speedway

(William Haines was discovered by a talent scout and signed with Goldwyn Pictures in 1922. His career quickly took off, thanks to his screen persona as a wisecracking, arrogant leading man. By the end of the 1920s, Haines had appeared in a string of successful films and was a popular box-office draw. However, there was a bit of an issue. His acting career was cut short by the studios in the 1930's due to his refusal to deny his homosexuality. He quit acting in 1935 and started a hugely successful interior design business with his life partner Jimmie Shields. They spent their days decorating the homes of the stars, and their nights in each other's arms.)

Speed Crazy

"... the shocker about the drag strip jungle!"

(This poster looks more like Revenge Of The 60 Foot Woman.)

"The jet hot age."

(The... what?)

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Born To Speed

"Ride the cockpits of thrills...  with the dare-devils who drive the speeding midgets!"

(Speeding midgets? You mean like the ones in MGM's The Wizard Of Oz?)

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The Fast And The Furious

"Wide screen thrills."

(The original!)

"A wanted man... meets a wanting woman!"

"Filmed at The Pebble Beach International Sports Car Races."

(Dorothy Malone won an Oscar as Best Supporting Actress in the soapy Written In The Wind starring Rock Hudson. Like co-star Lauren Bacall, she possessed a seductive, smoky, silkiness that became more and more pronounced throughout her lengthy career.)

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Dragstrip Riot

Murder... at 120 miles per hour!

(Yvonne Lime was not only Speed Crazy - see above - but also in this little epic. She was in good company, though; the cast also included Fay Wray and Connie Stevens.)

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Dragstrip Girl

Car crazy!... Speed crazy!... Boy Crazy!...

(Note the presence of one Frank 'The Riddler' Gorshin!)

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The Wild Ride

"From roaring hot rods... to the racing big time."

(Jack Nicholson sure had an interesting start; tons of B-pictures, working with the likes of Roger Corman. That he went on to rise above it all and become one of Hollywood's top leading men? Miraculous.)

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Wild Racers

"From stock car to grand prix..."

"Show him a curve and he'll take it... on two wheels or with a kiss!"

(Fabian Anthony Forte became a huge sensation thanks to his appearances on American Bandstand. He enjoyed nine Top 40 hits and appeared in a string of B-movies. He also appeared nude in Playgirl - something he immediately regretted.)

(Mimsy Farmer appeared in a whole slate of similar B-movies in the states before packing up and moving to Italy, where she found steady work in the giallo horror films, working with directors such as Dario Argento, Lucio Fulci, and Francesco Barilli.) 

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The Young Racers

"A little death each day, a lot of love every night!"

(Another Roger Corman film. Well, someone had to fill time on all those movie theatre screens.)

"They treated beautiful women as if they were fast cars... rough!"

(Oh, my! Such brutes!)

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Road Racers

"Screeching hell on wheels... is it sport or murder?"

(What an odd question. I want to be in on the pitch meeting where that one got approved.)

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Devil On Wheels

"When he took the wheel, slammed down on the throttle, and started burning rubber... he was dynamite!"

"Star of TV's The Americans.

(Darryl Hickman started as a child actor during the golden age of Hollywood, appearing in such films as The Grapes Of Wrath and The Farmer's Daughter. He'd go on to star in the B-movie classic, The Tingler. )

(His co-star, Terry Moore was also a child actress, who would eventually be nominated for an Oscar for Best Supporting Actress in the film version of Come Back, Little Sheba. She was briefly married to Howard Hughes, and, though they never divorced, she would go on to remarry several times, not caring that she was a bigamist.)

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"Speed-crazed... thrill-hungry... on a date with danger and love!"

(On a date? With a maaaaannnn?? Talk about the road to ruin!)

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Road Devils

"Cop fighters! Renegades on wheels!"

(Cop fighters, huh? Well, I guess some things never change.)

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Thunder Alley

"Days of screaming wheels... nights of reckless pleasure!"

(But what of the afternoons? Is that when all the studying and lesson learning takes place?)

(This was actually a sequel; Annette Funicello's and Fabian's second motion picture together about race car driving. It would also serve as Funicello's final lead in a motion picture for two full decades.)

  

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Thunder In Carolina

"All the excitement and the thrills the screen can hold!"

"The great 'Southern 500.' The world series of stock car racing!

(Heartthrob Rory Calhoun played opposite the likes of Betty Grable, Susan Hayward and Marilyn Monroe. As a youth, Calhoun was in and out of trouble with the law. A chance meeting with actor Alan Ladd while riding horses in the Hollywood Hills changed his life forever.)

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Teen Age Thunder

"Chicken is not just a word... it's murder!"

(Well, in the gay vernacular it certainly means something...)

"Young love and teen age kisses."

"Hot rods and hot tempers."

(Now... do tell me more about these 'hot rods' you kids seem to be so excited about!')

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And that's all for now.

  Be sure to tune in for more drag racing excitement next week.

 

Same time, same channel!

Intermission Time!