Wonderland Burlesque's Museum Of You Quiz

Wonderland Burlesque's 

Museum Of You Quiz

This is a bit daft, but let's put aside our 'abundant humility' for a moment and imagine...

What if there was a museum of 'you?' About you. 

More of an exhibit, actually, but - just imagine if a curator were to come in and try to capture your essence by collecting and arranging various items as part of a display. Oh, can't you picture the special lighting!

What would be included?

Let's take a look around, shall we?

1/ An item from your early childhood. What? Describe it.

I have the onesie I came home from the hospital in. It's pale blue with a tiny yellow duck on the left of the chest.  

It makes me sad to look at it. 

To think... it once held such a tiny piece of shit.

Who grew to become an even bigger one!

2/ An item from your teens. What? Describe it.

My record collection (albums, 45's, cassettes and 8-traks) and my very first turntable.

My first stereo was a joke... this white plastic box with a tiny turntable and a needle arm that you had to tape a quarter to in order for it to stay in the groove of a record. The speakers were made of plastic and I think the whole thing must have cost about $19.99. Looking back, why my friends allowed me to borrow records is beyond me. I must have ruined them. 

But I would give anything to have it all back. For, it meant the world to me at the time. It was my whole world, my best friend. I would sit and listen to things over and over again. 

Hours and hours, squired away in my room, watching the label on the turntable turn round and round. 

3/ A single piece of furniture. What? Describe it.

Well, this is a no-brainer.

My mother's piano... a Wurlitzer spinet. My Dad bought it for her out of the blue to try and snap her out of one of her violent depressions. 

I played and played that thing. Badly. But, again... it was sort of the center of the false narrative I call my life. 

When Mom offered it up, I didn't hesitate to say 'yes.' I adore it. I have it in the center of my space and love the fact that I can look over it, like I'm sitting at a grand piano or playing in a piano bar. 

I always wanted to be that person that sits down at a piano and plays and sings a song people know. 

And now I am. 

Oh, there's no audience. 

But it's never too late to realize a life goal. 

Even after the parade's passed one by... 

4/ An item from your closet: from the past. What? Describe it.

We're talking actual closet, not figurative. 

I want this short-sleeved rainbow-striped shirt I wore. It wasn't really a t-shirt. I think it may have been made of some kind of poly-blend. 

I loved wearing it in high school and wore it while at college (the first time I went.) 

It always made me very happy. I loved wearing it. It was very 'me.' The stripes were very thin and ran horizontally. 

When I wore it, I felt like a pop star. Like David or Shaun Cassidy. 

5/ An item from your closet: from the present. What? Describe it.

It's going to be my old man coat. It's a winter coat from the early 1950's. You see them in classic film noir all the time. It is super long and super heavy. A light brown. Beautiful lines. Wearing it, I either look like a star or as if I'm drowning in it. 

But I love wearing it and it makes me feel amazing. 

That's what clothing should do. 

I bought it at an estate sale ages ago, still in the dry cleaning bag. It's lovely.

6/ A collection (something you've collected through the years.) What is it? Describe it.

I have a few collections, but the one I'm putting on display is my vintage gay pulp fiction collection. I just started it last fall and have learned so much. I'm concentrating on just a few imprints: Classic Trojan, Spartan, and Gay Way/Gay Power Line. In addition, I'm collecting works by Kym Allison and Carl Corley. 

Along the way, I've acquired a few amazing finds; Greenleaf Classics that I never would be able to afford if I tried to purchase them directly. I have one that's worth about $325.00. It came in a set of books I won on eBay for $56.00. I plan on reselling all the ones I have no interest in keeping or collecting. 

I've collected about half of the books published by the imprints I'm focused on. This appeals to the completist in me and I worry I may never be able to find them all. Some of them, I can't even find a cover for on-line. But, fingers crossed. 

7/ A single example of your life's 'work.' What would it be? Describe it/share it.

I think it will be sheet music of a song I wrote. But I'm not sure which. 

Some of my titles are so pretentious, it's a bit embarrassing.

Here's one I would consider...

I would upload the sheet music, but I am lazy and that would require me to actually think. So, for now... you only get the lyrics.

8/ A photograph or video of you: describe it.

I described a photo that I just adore of me, taken when I was three or four. I'm wearing a trilby hat, a vest, suspenders and a long sleeve white shirt. It's taken outside and I have one foot forward and am doing jazz hands. My face looks as if I'm saying, 'tah dah!'

My other choice is my last theatre headshot. It's okay and it helped me learn to love my bald head. 

Not sure who I thought I was.

9/ A treasured knick knack: which? Describe it. What's the story?

Most of that stuff is packed away in boxes, so I think that means it's not very important to me. 

This is weird, but the only thing I currently have out which says something about who I am is this stuffed baby blue shabby chic bunny I rescued last fall. In a way, he represents everything I am about. 

I was walking back to my car from the prairie one late fall afternoon. The sky had clouded over and it looked like rain, so I'd called it a day. I'm on the blacktop path, when I look up at this sign that indicates an approaching incline. Hanging on top of the sign is this stuffed animal, a bunny. 

I thought to myself, 'Oh, how sad. Some child was being pushed around in a baby buggy and must have accidentally dropped this bunny. A bicyclist, finding the bunny, placed it on top of the sign so the parents would find it when they came back to look for it.' 

I thought about taking it, but reasoned: This requires no further action on my part.

I walked about twenty feet and down came the rain. I was going to start running to my car when I thought about that poor bunny and how he would get soaked in the rain and fall off the sign and land in the dirt and mud and how no one would want him after that. So, I ran back and grabbed him and took him home with me. He was thrown into the washing machine immediately, dried and has sat on the top of my spinet ever since. 

He's a harsh critic, but, other than the flank of framed photos which sit on top of the cabinets on the far wall, serves as the only audience I am ever likely to have. 

In the end, I hope he's happy. I know he's safe. But wonder if he sometimes misses his former life. 

10/ Someone to do a filmed interview talking about you. Who? What would they say?

Not many people know me well. But I would hope my youngest sister would do it and do it well.

She knows a few of my secrets, so that would make it interesting. 

She's also always been my number one supporter. I've never understood why, because I don't think I'm all that deserving. She's been critical of me, as well, but more than not, she's given me carte blanche to do as I please.  

She's incredibly articulate and well-educated, so I'm fairly certain it would make for a great listen. 

I think she'd address how emotionally conflicted I have been, most of my life and how that affected what I felt I could and could not accomplish. She'd also talk about how brave I have been, from her point of view, as far as simply going out there and doing some of the things I've done in terms of music and theatre. Funny thing, brave - looks the same as stupid, but makes it all sound better somehow.

I know a lot of other people who would not be as kind. So, I guess that's why I'm going with my baby sister.

If you want to talk about what a dick I've been... get in line or  write a book. 

--- ---

And that's enough of me.

Your turn. You know what to do. Leave your answers in the comments section, or post it on your blog and leave a link. 

Until next time...

Thanks for reading... and participating!

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