10 Funny Icebreaker Questions

10 Funny Icebreaker Questions

Hi.  I had a different set of questions all lined up for today's post. But when I actually sat down and started to answer them, my brain froze. The questions caught me off-guard, and seemed much too serious. So, in order to avoid, you know, actually dealing with whatever that blockage was about (denial is my friend), I decided to just lighten things up and choose different questions. 

I found these at Museum Hack.  Just the oddest site. I can't make heads or tails out of what they are about. It's all over the place.

But they had some awesome icebreakers - questions to ask when faced with a roomful of strangers or people you don't know very well. 

So have fun with these. I plan to. 

1/ What is something someone could wear that would make you walk out on a date with them? 

I don't think either of these count as an article clothing, but there are two things that I can think of that are kind of deal breakers for me.

First off, an excessive amount of cologne. If you show up smelling like you just bathed in your cologne of choice, I am going suddenly 'develop a migraine', make my excuses and hightail it out of there. Because if you do show up smelling that way there is a very real possibility that I will get sick to my stomach. I can't take that stuff... I mean, just what are you trying to hide? How insecure are you? Also... if that's something you normally do? Means we probably won't have a whole lot in common. I am much more interested in your natural musk... grrr.

The other thing: a chastity lock box. 

This actually happened to me once. One would think that would be the sort of thing the other person might want to have mentioned before agreeing to meet up. But they didn't. They thought I was kinky and would be 'game'. Game? For what?  I mean, what's in it for me? Possibly the only part of your life that I am going to be truly interested in - ever - is unavailable and belongs to someone else. So... WTF? Evening... over.

2/ The zombie apocalypse is coming, who are 3 people you want on your team?

I am going with my youngest sister, her husband and my boyfriend. 

Why? 

My sister is the smartest, most organized person I know. She's great at assessing skills and strengths and weaknesses and would give us assignments, roles, and duties. She also works well under pressure.

Her husband, my brother-in-law, because he is 6'7 and played football in college. And, he's still got it going on. Plus, he has a terrible, terrible temper, is super protective of my sister, will always do the right thing and can't make a decision on his own to save his life, so he would listen to anybody else, including me. He also has a heart of gold. 

My boyfriend. He has a terrible, terrible temper when backed into a corner and arms the size of gigantic hams. He's also terribly protective of me, and plays zombie video games all the time, so he would be a treasure chest of info and know how to kill the damn things. 

That said... I don't think any of them would want me on their team. And I don't blame them. Remember Estelle Parsons in Bonnie and Clyde? That scene where the gang gets ambushed by the law and she screams her fool head off and almost gets everyone killed? 

Yeah. I could see myself recreating that scene very easily. 

3/ What’s the most embarrassing fashion trend you used to rock?

Here... you pick.

I seriously spent about two years wearing Adidas tee-shirts that I would tear the sleeves off and slit in different places. It was the HATIES. THE MID-HATIES. I had no idea what I was doing.

Another weird thing I would wear... I would buy mens suit coats at thrift stores and chop them off at my waist line. So they were little bolero jackets? Only, I was a terrible sewer and the bottom of the jacket looked a little... homemade. I loved it when I would find a vintage one with shoulder pads. I would pretend to be Melanie Griffith in Working Girl.

Wearing a long-sleeve skin tight denim bell bottom uni-suit with a zipper all the way down the front to my crotch. IN PUBLIC. MULTIPLE TIMES. With platform shoes.

Denim cut-offs. 

A bright red and white striped pair of elephant bells with a matching three-quarter vest that my Grandmother (bless her heart) made me after seeing The Partridge Family. And I wore it to school. IN PUBLIC.

Yeah. Growing up I had the fashion sense of a Teen Beat Magazine.

4/ What was the worst hairstyle you ever wore?

I was going to be singing at my youngest sister's wedding. The only soloist. 

All my sisters had me sing at their weddings, because that way they didn't have to deal with me as part of their wedding party. Let's just say... reliability? Not my thing, at the time. But if you asked me to perform... I was there with bells on. 

In this case, I chose to get a PERM the day before her wedding. YES. A F'ING PERM! I have no idea what I was thinking. I ended up looking like Art Garfunkel. And, of course, my sister had to have it immortalized by her wedding photographer, posing in a pic with me. 

I think word got out... don't... mention... the hair. 

To this day... it... the perm... is the one thing we have never talked about. 

However, I kind of secretly treasure that photo...

5/ Who was your childhood actor/actress crush?

So, by childhood, I assume we're talking early adolescence. 

I wanted to be Faye Dunaway's boyfriend. Or Streisand's.

I'm trying to think of who I thought of when I jerked off in the early days. 

Most of my fist fodder had to do with boys and the teachers at my high school.

Oh, I know... I used to create my own porn... using The TV Guide for inspiration. This is before I'd actually seen porn, so I don't think I really thought in terms of penetration. 

One of my favorite scenarios was Fonzi and the Happy Days boys - Richie, Potzie and Ralph Malph getting naked together in the garage, swapping jock straps, taking orders from the Fonze. I also wanted either William Katt, Leo Sayer, or Gary Frank (from 'Family') to be my secret 'boyfriend'. They would hold my hand and maybe kiss me under our special tree. 

And then there was John Allen Amos Jr. on Good Times. 

Oh, good golly...

I wanted that man to discipline the fuck out me. 

6/ Have you ever been told you look like someone famous, who was it?

John Malkovich and Michael Stipe. And before I had my teeth fixed... Bette Midler.

Maybe. I dunno. John and Michael because we are the same type, I guess. And Bette? Because she's always been a non-traditional beauty and I am an ugly duckling... so? 

Who did I want to look like? David Bowie. Always, David. Even cocaine/anorexic David.

7/ If you could bring back any fashion trend what would it be?

Cuff links. I think they are fascinating. And I love watching a man put them on and take them off.

Sexy AF.

8/ You have your own late night talk show, who do you invite as your first guest?

How about we do our first line-up instead?

First up: Lizzo. She will rock the house and then school us all. 

Joe Biden is second. He has a lot of questions I need answers to.

Kathleen Madigan next. She Make Me Laugh. (And she would bring booze.)

Janis Ian is coming on to represent and sing a ditty. I heart her so much. Respect.

Then some eye candy: Dennis Haysbert, or Idris Elba, or Morris Chestnut will do nicely.

Then Lizzo gonna do some more magic, while we're all sitting down and having a cocktail at the end of the night.

That's me, sitting really close to Dennis/Idris/Morris. 

Sigh. You never know...

9/ You have to sing karaoke, what song do you pick?

My go-to is 'Hooked On a Feeling' by Blue Suede. It's an easy song.

The only problem. If you get the version with the 'ugga chaugga' chant in the background during the intro? Good luck finding the key and coming in on time. Fortunately, I have something in my brain that remembers that first pitch and have successfully landed it time and time again. 

The key to finding it? Sing before you've had too much too drink. 

10/ Sixties, Seventies, Eighties, or Nineties: Which decade do you love the most and why?

I love, love, love the 70's. Adore them. 

The music. So much fun. First you have that whole Jesus movement. It was awful. All those teenage boy idols? Bobby Sherman. David and Sean Cassidy, Rex Smith, Leif Garrett. Andy Gibb. And all the that marvelous pop music - things like The Defranco Family, and little Foster Sylvers? Bo Donaldson and the Heywoods and Paperlace? Silver and Sweet and The Bay City Rollers? Innocent stuff. 

Glitter and Glam rock!

Then you had The Chilites and The Sylistics. Rufus and The Ohio Players. Gladys Knight and the Pips and Earth Wind and Fire. Barry White. They brought the bottom. Helen Reddy. Olivia Newton John. Cat Stevens. Jim Croce. Just breezy stuff. 

Kiss. Steely Dan. The Doobie Brothers. The California Sound. Early Springsteen. Crosby Stills Nash and Young. Eric Carmen / The Raspberries. David Bowie went through all those ch-ch-changes. Elton John. Carly Simon. Natalie Cole, Donna Summer, Diana Ross. Man, the list goes on... The Captain and Tennille!

And exciting things happening with dance music. Georgio Moroder.  Disco rules. I even love the terrible stuff. 

And then punk! Which was amazing. In the beginning. Like dermabrasion done with a sandblaster. Awesome. The Sex Pistols. The Ramones. Early Blondie. Early Go-Go's. 

Television was fascinating. Norman Lear. Maude. All in the Family. Terrible shows like The Love Boat and Fantasy Island.  Afternoon talk shows like Mike Douglas and Merv Griffin featuring folks like Totie Fields and Zsa Zsa and Rip Taylor. Match Game with Bret Somers and Charles Nelson Reilly and Fanny Flag! Variety shows. Terrible train wrecks. The Carol Burnett Show. Seventies TV was terrible and wonderful at the same time.

Movies: Sappy Robby Benson. Early slasher flicks. Woody Allen (before he was a pariah), Bonnie and Clyde. Alice Doesn't Live Here Anymore. And all those Streisand flicks. The musicals and the slapstick comedies and The Way We Were. A Star is Born. And disaster flicks! The Poseidon Adventure, Airport, Earthquake, The Towering Inferno. Terrible, cheap ass, exploitative drive-in movies. 

And the fashion! Especially all the terrible, terrible ideas. Like... polyester. And wide lapels. Uni-suits. And disco shirts. And ugly fat ties. And platform shoes for men! Sans-a-belt slacks. Suspenders. Leisure suits. Bad feathered hair. And elephant bells. Horrible gowns, fabrics, patterns, designs. LOVED IT.

And the sexual revolution. All that classic porn. And discos! Drug culture. 

I just adore it all.  Wish I had been an adult. I suspect I would have lived at Fire Island, wearing nothing but a pair of cut-off white short-shorts... cut just-so! With evenings at whatever gay disco would put up with my ass.

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Oh, that was fun. I needed that. Hope it was good for you, too. Okay, you know what to do. Leave your answers in the comments section or answer them on your own blog and leave a link.

'til next time, children...

You Sexy Thing - Hot Chocolate