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Saturday, March 20, 2021

Weekend Onesie: What's Under Your Kilt?

Weekend Onesie: 
What's Under Your Kilt?

This week was St. Patrick's Day. Due to covid (how many sentence begin that way these days?), there were none of the usual parades, parties, or bars filled with festive drinkers. That also meant no gay bars with slightly hot, slightly tipsy men wearing nothing but  their original equipment under a kilt.

And that? 

That is a waste of a perfectly good holiday.

But it got me thinking about kilts...  the garment, not what's under them (for a change).

I know they are a traditional part of Scotland's heritage, but, as it turns out, also a part of Ireland's.

Did you know the original, traditional Irish kilt is The Saffron Kilt which is a plain mustard yellow?

Yeah... not too many people can pull that off. 

Did you know that the tartan actually represents different things for the Irish and Scottish folk? 

For the Irish, it represents a specific district or region. For the Scotts? It is like a family crest representing their clan. There are over 25,000 registered Scottish tartans!

The only time I used to see a man in a kilt was at gay pride (or a production of Brigadoon). And they used to make me hella uncomfortable (at gay pride, not Brigadoon. Brigadoon made me uncomfortable because it's so awful.). No, I was fine with men walking around without underwear (hell, I encourage that), but the kilts themselves pushed all sorts of weird boy things vs. girl things buttons in my head. Particularly if those kilts happen to be made of black leather and worn by a member of the leather community. 

I don't know why, but they terrified me. I thought them ugly.


Now? Oh, yes, please. Let your freek flag fly, honey. And show me! SHOW ME!

Now? I welcome a nice flash or two. I want to find out what you're NOT wearing under that kilt, mister. Men's legs? Any excuse... any at all. Show me your hairy/smooth, skinny/meaty gams, you sexy piece of man-meat.

Is that because I've become an old perv? Well, yes, but my point is, I got over freaking out over what makes someone else extremely happy. 

Now? I love seeing men in skirts. I love men who dress the way they want the world to view them or in a way that makes them feel genuine. 

Being true to yourself? 

It doesn't stop politely at the societal norms adopted back in the 1950's. I mean, it has... for centuries. 

But, babykins! It's time to move on. 

That's why I, for one, welcome cancel culture. Seriously? Fuck all these so called 'rules'. 

Those rules? Like the reboot of The Odd Couple. Cancelled.

I remember as a high school student being told 'that's not how these things are done'. And I, in all innocence, would repeatedly ask, 'why'? And I recall being stonewalled a number of times by stink-faced adults. But it got drummed into me, time and time again, that even questioning the origin of something was inappropriate. 

Needless to say... it's taken me awhile to get over it.  

In the end? As far as kilts go...

It's a piece of fabric. It's not an identity. It's an expression of who and what that person is in that moment. It's something to wear to cover up the body parts our very uptight society have deemed inappropriate (something else we all gotta work on, right whkattk?). 

But, wait. If I am too be perfectly honest... my objection to those black leather kilts weren't simply that a male was wearing them. It was that a less than pristinely worked-out body was wearing one. Ahhhh!

Needless to say, time has gotten me over that bit of brainwashing, too. 

We are all doing the best with what we've got. We are all beautiful, even if we aren't making an effort to conform to the strict ideas of beauty as laid down by corporate America and the media machine. 

And to do our part? We need to stop propagating the myth that there even IS such a thing as 'standard' beauty or only one type. 

Beauty comes in many forms. Celebrate them all.  

I love a man with a few extra. I love them hairy or smooth. Young, old, male, female, other? I love a woman's breasts no matter what gravity, nature and time does to them. Our faces? They're each a painting that tells the story of our lives. Hips, thighs, abdominals, asses? Yep, if we're lucky, we all got some. 

Each one of us is unique and as lovely as the person that lives inside.

If you're not 'appreciating' something? You're probably wearing some kind of blinder. Everybody has them. Men with kilts? One of my many... but I own my blind spots and I continue to evolve.

So, that dude carrying 50 extra lbs. Carry it well. Wear that kilt with no shirt (and no undies, please). You get a hearty thumbs up from me. Play on!

You, be you. And if you do that well? 

That's true beauty. 

And nobody, but nobody... can cancel that. 

*Note: The lead photo inspired today's post. But I felt it only fair to represent a small cross section... 

Every Kind of People - Robert Plant

Everyday People - Sly and The Family Stone


Jimmy said...

You lost me when you mentioned female boobs and each a painting....
But, being Welsh/Irish, I can appreciate a well pleated plaid kilt.

anne marie in philly said...

my freak flag was launched in february 1977 and I refuse to bring it down! love the music choices; both those guys are gone now.

SickoRicko said...

I love a man in a dress.

Mistress Maddie said...

I remember my first roommate I had, His name was Herb. Man was he cute!And FUN! He decided to get a kilt once and used to wear it out. Every Sunday night was a huge night out in town. The bartenders often let us up on the bar to dance...he would starting pumping and grinding, and me being tipsy would forget he didn't have underwear on....and the crowd would cheer when I would pull up his kilt and the good flopped around.

Ahhhhhh good times! He was a cool roommate.

Xersex said...

seems that here the kilt attracts bears!