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Tuesday, March 01, 2022

Wonderland Burlesque's Friendly Skies Quiz

Wonderland Burlesque's 
Friendly Skies Quiz

We have Sixpence over at (LO) IMPRESCINDIBLE to thank for the inspiration for today's quiz.

The other week he wrote a post about travelling and it got me thinking...

And before I could stop myself, there it was... another quiz!

So, thank you, Sixpence.

And do drop by his blog. It's fun, informative and up-to-the-minute. He really has his fingers on the pulse of life!

Now? On to today's quiz... have a good flight!

1/ When flying, how do you get to the airport? Uber? Friends? Family? Drive and park? How early?

I used to rely on The Ex, because he is the only person I know who can stand doing it. But, these days, due to all the changes at MSP, even he no longer wants to be that person who plays taxi cab. 

So, now? I Uber it. Sure, it costs and you have to pay for it going and coming, but it's better than dealing with other drivers or MSP's overpriced parking. 

Three hours early. Those $17 bloody marys aren't going to drink themselves!

2/ Carry-ons only? A checked suitcase?

If going to Europe, yes... one suitcase will be checked. When I go, I stay for three weeks, so I am going to need more than a few changes of underwear (who wears underwear?) Plus, that way I can take my regular sized bottles of lotion and mouth wash. I hate all the waste with those little travel size toiletries. 

If to Cancun or Miami or L.A. - unless it's a special event, like a wedding, I travel as light as possible. Two carry-ons. My laptop bag, stuffed with all sorts of electronics, plus a tiny, tiny duffle bag. The duffle bag has all the toiletry essentials, a bunch of white t-shirts, socks (if needed) and underwear (if necessary.) And one casual outfit - jeans and shirt (or simply a couple of pairs of swim trunks.)

I always wear my dressiest stuff on the plane. If not going first class? Dress like business class. You get treated well and when you do make a request, someone is more likely to listen. 

Yes. Dress the way you want to be treated. It works. 

3/ What do you do while you're waiting to board the plane?

Mornings: A bloody mary. Don't bother with breakfast. Only the most essential nutrient... gin. Yes. I have my bloodies made with gin. Wanna make something of it? Then I go sit at the gate and stare at the attendants like they are parsing out salvation.

Afternoons? A nice salad. And dream of gin. Oh, hell, if it's not work-related travel, then have one. Life is short. And those wait times... long. Don't overdo, though... you want to be taken seriously when you complain about the gremlins chomping on the wings of the plane.

Evening? Pop two Ambian and follow all directions given to the letter until you get to your seat. Then close your eyes and wake up in a whole new world.   

4/ Preferred airline? Preferred seat?

I don't really have a preferred airline. Whatever is cheapest and the most direct. Delta tends to be very nice, but they jerk you around a lot with layovers and transfer flights. 

I love international flights or one's to Hawaii. The planes are so huge. Lots of room and entertainment. 

I need the aisle seat, dear. I go to the restroom frequently (well-hydrated,) and I need the leg room. Elbow room. Breathing space. 

Breathing space. Do airlines still offer that in this time of Covid?

5/ First class? Ever? Always?

I got a free upgrade once. It was super fun. One of my kid sisters was flying for the first time, so we got bumped up. But, typically? I will pay for extra leg room, but that's all. At 6'1", I need it or I am fairly miserable for the whole flight. I think it's because I am so physically active, even at my age. Sitting that long? Not my thing. Bad for the posture.

Don't fence me in.

6/ How do you occupy your time midflight?

I write. I play Civ 5, my favorite video game. I read. 

I read a lot. 

Once, coming back from Cancun, my companion was not feeling well and in a foul mood, so rather than attempt any kind of banter, I stuck my nose in a book and read three quarters of it by the time we landed. And it was an awful book. Absolute nonsense about internet dating. I kept wondering what kind of illiterate gave this the green light? The ending? Well, I will never know. I left it on the damn plane (I do that a lot - books, hats, glasses...) And I can't remember the author's name or the title of the book, so... I guess it was not meant to be. 

You know, finishing a book you don't like is a lot like a hate fuck. You just want to pound it in there until you reach the end so you can say... yes, I finished, and I hated it.

7/ What are you having to drink on the plane? Peanuts? Other? Special meal? Do you bring your own food?

If travelling with someone I trust enough, I will have a drink. Otherwise, water. And the reason for the water? Well. This is embarrassing, but maybe it shouldn't be. Travelling stresses my system out and I can get a little, well... constipated. So, I drink lots of water to combat that. I don't know if it is the stress or the plane or the altitude or what... but my body does not react well and water is a gentle, natural way of trying to maintain balance. 

I eat whatever they give me... unless it's sugar. Or peanuts. I know they give us that stuff to keep us occupied - like graham crackers for little kids. I'm more than happy to play along as long as it is something I can actually eat. 

And airline food? Really? Come on, people, what the hell do you expect? They serve from a cart in a paper tray covered in tin foil. Eat it and be thankful. And, yes, I always request a vegetarian meal. And when that doesn't happen, I just eat what I can. Complaining really isn't going to win you any points with the staff and you really need them on your side.

And people who bring fast food onto a flight? GET OUT! Seriously. You animal. How classless. I just shake my head. You couldn't get to the airport early enough to eat? You have to bring your Taco Bell, your McDonalds, your stinking Chick-Fil-A onto an overcrowded airplane with bad air circulation? 

FUCK YOU. 

White trash. That is the hallmark of white trash, right there. Fuck all the way off this plane. 

Disgusting.

8/ Are you a member of the mile high club? Would you?

I am not. 

I have been in many an airplane's what-passes-for a bathroom. They are little more than porta-a-potties with running water. Only smaller. You get in there? One person can barely turn around. I don't see how you're gonna be doing the nasty in that nasty little space. 

That said. If the right person raised an eyebrow and nodded toward the john and there was a likelihood that we would not be caught? 

Oh, hell, yeah... I'd give that dance a try. I like learning new steps. 

9/ Travel tips for dealing with customs? Airport security? Other passengers? Flight attendants?

Smile. Treat everyone really well. Be polite. Say 'thank you.' Keep your eyes and ears open. Follow directions. Hold your breath and get through it all as quickly as possible. 

These people deal with angry, hungry, tired, fed-up, picky, privileged, unreasonable people all day.

Don't be one of them. 

10/ Worst experience on a flight?

That would be that time when a balloon of heroin I had concealed up my bum burst and I nearly died. 

Ha! 

Naw... that never happened.

It was cocaine. 

--- ---

And that's all for today, kids.

Okay, your turn!

Leave your answers in the comments section, or post on your blog and leave a link to it here.

Before I go, I just want to, again, say thank you to Sixpence over at (LO) IMPRESCINDIBLE for the inspiration for today's quiz.

Until next time...

Thanks for reading... and participating!

Airplanes - B.o.B feat. Haley Williams



























































































Learning To Fly - Tom Petty And The Heartbreakers

6 comments:

Bob said...

1/ When flying, how do you get to the airport? Uber? Friends? Family? Drive and park? How early?
We will either get a ride from a friend or leave our car at the airport.
2/ Carry-ons only? A checked suitcase?

Almost always carry-on. I haven’t checked a bag in years and I am an expert packer.

3/ What do you do while you're waiting to board the plane?
Read a book and people watch. People in airports are high-larious.
4/ Preferred airline? Preferred seat?
We don't have a preferred airline. As for the seat, I need an aisle or the window. I do not want people on both sides of me, even if one of them is Carlos.
5/ First class? Ever? Always?
I got an upgrade once, and Carlos and I got an upgrade together once, but first class is an awful lot of coins. And., as they say, the back end of the plane arrives at the same time as the front.
6/ How do you occupy your time midflight?

I read, write, nap, chat. And people watch.
7/ What are you having to drink on the plane? Peanuts? Other? Special meal? Do you bring your own food?
I will sip a juice or a water, and I’ll eat the snacks, too. I don’t usually bring my own food.
8/ Are you a member of the mile high club? Would you?
I am not. That tiny little bathroom? I’d break a hip or crash through the door into the aisle!
9/ Travel tips for dealing with customs? Airport security? Other passengers? Flight attendants?
You said it: Smile. Be polite. Say 'Thank you.'

10/ Worst experience on a flight?
Here goes: it was back in 2016, a Tuesday in November. I was flying home from Oregon to SC, with a layover in DC. I deliberately Avoided the news because there had been an election that day and I didn’t want to see the results while trapped in a plane, lest I try to commandeer it and fly to another country.
I disembarked and walked through Washington National, avoiding TVs and newsstands, but as I turned a corner I saw the headline: _____Wins.
I died.
Well, I got on my flight from DC to SC and it was a tiny plane very full of passengers and I had a mild panic attack, claustrophobia. I had no water to drink and there were people eating all around me and then the plane pulled back … and stopped. There was a gauge malfunction and we sat on the tarmac about thirty feet from the gate waiting, without AC in a tin can stuffed with human sweating flesh. I was about to get out of my seat and open a door and leap to the ground until I began deep breathing and meditating and counting and calming myself.
We ended up on a different plane and I got home and wept … not for the flight, but for that damned election.

Mistress Maddie said...

That porn with Jack Hunter and his huge cock is one of my favorite studio porns which is rare as I don't watch much of it. Jack Hunter is one of my weakness.

1-When flying, how do you get to the airport? Uber? Friends? Family? Drive and park? How early? Either the regional rail or a friend.

Carry-ons only? A checked suitcase? One of each.

What do you do while you're waiting to board the plane? Hit the bar and people watch.

Preferred airline? Preferred seat? None really...but prefer a window seat.

First class? Ever? Always? I have flown first class and coach.just depends how long the flight is.

How do you occupy your time midflight? Usually my Ipod, or reading a book. If I get a friendly soul sometimes a nice conversation.

What are you having to drink on the plane? Peanuts? Other? Special meal? Do you bring your own food? G&T dear! On long flights there is lunch or dinner in first class. Never bring food..one more thing to pack.

Are you a member of the mile high club? Would you? Yes I would...but sadly Nope. But once by myself on a trip to San Fran I had a guy next to me that kept pressing his leg against mine, and he then started feeling my leg up. We even grabbed each in the crotch once or twice. You could tell we were both turned on and made plans to have a bathroom quicky once landed, but his girlfriend at the gate spoiled that. And on our flight to Amsterdam MM#1 Fan and I thought of going into the bath to suck off each other, just to say we could be members of the mile high, but we chickened out.

Travel tips for dealing with customs? Airport security? Other passengers? Flight attendants? Don't argue, keep your cool, and remember, You attract more flies with honey.

Worst experience on a flight? I can't say I actually had one yet.

whkattk said...

1. Usually a friend or in-laws. Usually by 1-hour before flight.
2. Carry-ons only. I learned to pack light when I traveled for work all the time.
3. Read whatever book I've brought.
4. U.S. Airways - though I understand they've merged with American. I was a Frequent Flyer and had the Club Card. I'd buy coach and then if First Class seat was open it was automatic bump at no cost.
5. See #4.
6. I read.
7. Usually coffee or soda. Snacks? Depends on the length ogf the flight. If it was a long one - I'd buy the meal (or get it free in First Class).
8. Why, yes. Yes, I am.
9. Always be kind. Those poor people put up with a lot of BS.
10. Easy. A flight booked by my SIL on the cheapest of the cheap. Cramped, crowded, no in-flight service of any kind. Never again.

SickoRicko said...

I never knew this was possible.

Sixpence Notthewiser said...

Hahaha glad I was your inspo!

Ok, let's see:
1. I drive. I don't do Uber. Drive and park and I get to the airport at least one hour in advance. At least.
2. I usually only have a carry on. If it's more than a week, check my trusty military duffel bag.
3. I read. Read, read, read. And listen to music while waiting.
4. I don't have a preferred airline. I usually fly whichever is available and I cross my fingers it's a big plane. I prefer to sit alone, and I don't like the middle seat unless I'm traveling with the manfriend.
5. Have never flown first class. Ever.
6. I read. All the time.
7. I don't drink much. I try to limit my getting up and going to the washroom. I don't eat a lot unless it's a long flight.
8. I have never fucked anybody on a plane. I have not fooled around either.
9. Customs is a nightmare. Hate it. Airport security? Travel in sweatpants and easy to take off shoes. Other passengers? Nod politely and shut up. Flight attendants are usually nice to me and call me 'honey'.
10. I have not had horrible experiences on flights. I once forgot where I parked my car, though. It was not pretty.

And thanks for the shoutout!!

XOXO

Jimmy said...

#10- A flight from London to New York on Air India. Just after take off a teenager two rows behind us threw up in the aisle. The flight attendant covered it with newspapers and went on about her business. The smell of vomit and aroma of curry on the plane had everyone yelling for help for the five hour flight.