Wonderland Burlesque's Porn Much? Quiz

Wonderland Burlesque's 

Porn Much? Quiz

What would our lives be like without it? Personally, I can't imagine. For one thing, fifty percent of my blog content would be gone. And what would I do with those last fifteen minutes of my Monday night before heading to bed? 

So thank goodness (?) for... porn; for good, it certainly can be.

Yes! Porn makes the world go 'round  and 'round (like me, in summer, at the prairie.)

Today's quiz takes a look at our history, our relationship to, our preferences, our little picadilloes - when it comes to porn. 

So, name your poison, boys and girls. And remember, one man's gravy is... 

...well, come to think of it, pretty tasty!

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1/ At what age did you start looking at porn? What was your first experience like?

I happened on a newspaper in my Dad's nightstand. It had personal ads and photos in it. It was very grainy and the pictures were lewd and not very pretty, but I knew almost instantly what it was. I think I might have been nine years old, maybe ten. 

I was curious, but not all that interested. I knew it was dirty and not something I should be looking at. I never went back to look at it. 

After that, years later, it was the Playboy and Penthouse magazines I'd find at the houses where I would babysit kids. And, once, it was an Italian magazine with naked men in it. It was in the laundry room at this one house. That one? Oh, yeah, I went back to that one over and over and over again. 

I wonder if the lady of the house ever figured it out. 

2/ Do you view porn on-line? Do you pay for it? What sites?

I do, on occasion, but it's rare. I never pay for it... never have. 

If I do view it, I go to PornHub or GayForIt or TheGay or XHamster.

They are all free.
 

3/ Do you masturbate when looking at videos on-line? How often?

I don't know why else you would go on-line looking for porn. 

Of course, I do. Once in a very blue moon. I would say at the most twice a month. 

I find the whole thing to be a time waste and very frustrating. Rarely do I find anything that I find interesting and all the search engines seem to bring up is crap that I have no interest in. 

I guess I'm kind of picky. 

4/ Do you have a specific type you look for? Gay? Straight? Kink? Bondage? Amatuer?

Gay. Amatuer. 

The professional porn, even the stuff that is geared to look amatuer or in public or risky... bores me. Professional porn stars bore me. They all look... wrong. They don't look like real men, so I'm not impressed.

I used to get into vids of amatuer dudes masturbating while doing poppers. I especially liked it when they talked while they did it. Those have all been banned. But that's what I liked... the talking.

In fact, that is what I look for. I love a monologue or dialogue. I like a very verbal top. I find it sexy.

I do have some kinks. Armpits. Dudes peeing. Poppers. Mens rooms. Public scenes. 

I love outdoor amatuer cruising videos, as it reminds me of the prairie.

And I love walk-in scenes. You don't see those much anymore, because Craiglist no longer offers 'personals' or at least not that kind. It's a very dangerous hobby, but I used to do it. Blindfolded.

Now? I just watch. I have no interest in anybody I don't know really, really well coming over to my house. And with Covid-19 in the picture? Well... that scraps any meetings of that nature. 

But I do admire when others do it. Love hotels rooms where they have multiple dates set up and just take them on one after another. Yes. Dangerous. I used to be very attracted to danger.   

5/ Is there a setting or type of costuming that hits you where you live? How important are they when choosing porn?

This is where my love of vintage, golden age gay porn comes into play. They knew how to create a believable story, or at least one that bordered on amatuer hour theatrics. Those dudes in knee high striped gym socks? Or a jock strap. Or Kip Noll in that satin jacket of his? It all looked dirty and cheap and I love it. 

Same with modern amatuer porn. If I get even a whiff of something being staged, I turn up my nose and stop watching. I think that's why I love early John Waters films and Andy Warhol films... it was a sort of amatuer porn.

6/ Do you have any favorite porn stars? Who and what do you like about them?

Only vintage ones. I love most of the ones I profiled in my blog series, Lost Boys. Jon King springs to mind. Kip Noll. All the NOVA boys. 

But, I think my favorite of all time is David Ashfield.

I would have dated him so hard! He also seems a little goofy and a lot of fun. I think we would have retired on a hobby farm and taken in animals in need of a home.

7/ Do you have any porn on VHS, DVD, or Blu-ray? How frequently do you play it? Any magazines or novels ?  

I do. All vintage stuff. I bought it on eBay during a phase I was going through. 

I have a couple of the NOVA collections, which I adore. I a bunch of Rick Donovan - and I don't even find him all that appealing. 

My favorite films are: The NOVA short: His Little Brother, Chip Off The Old Block, and Gold Rush Boys. 

I never play them. Some have never been in a VCR or disc player, ever.

I used to love magazines, but got tired of hauling them around or, worse, buying a ton and then surreptitiously dumping them in some alley dust bin far enough away from wherever I lived to avoid association.

My current infatuation? Gay Vintage Pulp Fiction. In particular, I am planning on owning a complete collection of Trojan Books, Spartan Books, and Gay Way Books. Along the way, I am also purchasing a lot of stuff that is worth a lot more than I paid for it (early eBay wins) and a bunch of books I could care less about. I plan on selling off the stuff I don't want in order to fund the stuff I do want. 

As you can tell (if you tune into this blog on any given Monday,) I am obsessed with this stuff.  

8/ Do you or did you have a place you store or hide your 'stash'?

I hid it in the attic, in a box of costumes for the longest time. All magazines that later got dumped. When I was finally living on my own, I had a drawer in my dressing area that housed it all (also magazines), which got dumped in L.A. before returning to Minneapolis. Currently? I have a white cabinet in my living area, next to a white cabinet that houses all my music CDs. I really feel for the guest who opens the wrong cabinet (and for anyone who has to deal with my crap once I kick-off.)

 

9/ Have you ever been in a porn film? Would you? Who would you do a scene with?

Dudes have filmed me on their phone. I hate that stuff. Now, if they whip out a phone, I get up and leave. First off, you didn't ask. Secondly? Who wants to see that? Not me.

Back in the late 1970's? Yes. I would have. Of course, I'd be dead now, but I would have done one had anyone asked. I was a stupid kid. And, while part of me gets swept up in the romantic notion of being part of the golden age of porn, the reality sitting on the other side of all that is not something I would ever want to experience. 

Today? I could do Daddy porn, I suppose. But I don't know of anyone who would want to watch that. So, I think that boat has sailed. As for all that stopping and starting for still photographs... not my style. More of an in the moment kind of guy. Also... I'd probably get fired the first day for arguing about line interpretations or the actual writing itself. 

Nor do I know the names of any actors I'd want to appear in one with. So... no, I don't think that has a chance of happening... not even in my fantasy life.

10/ Have you ever purchased anything - a movie or a product - that pops up while trying to watch free porn on-line? 

That would be a hard 'no.'

I get that these sites have to pay the bills and that putting up with crappy ads is a part of watching anything - music, porn, shows, Grindr etc. - on-line for free. But I find most of the commercials to be so off-target (I am not gonna pay to watch Busty Bimbo play with her fake tits), or ridiculous (all those 'caught in the act' or 'bait and switch' or so-called 'public' gay vids), or, quite frankly dangerous (seriously, who designs these dildoes - former Blackwater Security personnel?)

In the end? I would never trust a porn site with my credit card information, or any other information. I realize it's a legitimate business, but not one that I'm interested in actually contributing to monetarily.

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And that's enough from me.

Okay, your turn. You know what to do...

Leave your answers in the comments section or post them on your blog and leave a link here.

I love to read all about your dirty, dirty little secrets. Hmmm... that's telling, isn't it?

Why do I think of porn as being 'dirty?' Conditioning, I guess. Or do I just like the idea of being 'bad?" 

Hmm... maybe stuff for a future quiz?

Anyway... thank you for reading... and participating!

Put Me In The Movies - Lana Del Ray

(from the film The Neon Demon)

Movie Star - Harpo

(File under: very odd, and a bit terrible.)

(This stayed on the charts in Australia in 1975/1976 for 34 weeks, peaking at #3!)