Wonderland Burlesque's Let's All Go To The Movies: It'll Kill You Edition, Part I

Wonderland Burlesque's 

Let's All Go To The Movies: 

It'll Kill You Edition, Part I

Death Is A Woman

(So... the rumors are true!)

"And starring Patsy Ann Noble as 'Francesca.'"

"Not suitable for children."

(Does that mean that Patsy Ann never became a mum?)

(Patsy Ann would go through a number of stage names, but got her start as a teen pop star in Australia. She'd go on to a lengthy career, including a turn as a minor character in the Star Wars canon.)

Deadly Is The Female

"Nothing deadlier is known to man..."

(Actually, I can think of a number of things, but, as this is a rather vintage film, I suppose it's a matter of the times.)

(Check out the gams on Peggy Cummins!)

"She believes in two things... love and violence!"

(I guess the sex part will just have to wait.)

"Somewhere... somehow... some time... every man learns that..."

(Does that pose Peggy's striking strike you as a bit awkward? Not just for a woman, but for anyone?)

The Deadly Females

"Trained to kill! Anyone... anywhere... anytime... at a price!"

 (Tracy Reed would appear on Love American Style, and co-star in the television series version of Barefoot In The Park. Surprisingly (?) this is film is not listed in her credits on Wikipedia.)

(Theatre nerd alert: Rula Lenska! Oddly, she did this film at about the same time she was spokesmodel for VO5 hairspray, here, in the states.)

Kiss Of Death

(What a great cast. Mature? Always a bit of a fish out of water, unless playing the tough guy or showing off his upper body. But he did a wide breadth of genres, even co-starring in a number of musicals opposite the likes of Rita Hayworth - to whom he was once engaged - and Betty Grable.)

(Coleen Gray grew up in Hutchinson, Minnesota! I am surprised there isn't a museum dedicated to her. Minnesota likes to celebrate the famous people who grew up here. That said... I hope there is never a Josh Hartnett or (worse) a Kevin Sorbo museum.)

A Kiss Before Dying

"It was so easy to kiss him... so easy to love him... so hard to stop!"

(Based on the billing for this film, one would think Robert Wagner was having an affair with Jeffrey Hunter. It would be a completely different film, of course, but the title would take on a whole new meaning. That said... they could have kept that tagline on this poster. It would have been perfect.)

"Robert Wagner in a startling new role!"

"It happened with every girl he met! It was so easy for him to fall in love... so easy to go one kiss too far... so easy to find a way out... MURDER!"

"So much in love... so deep in terror."

(That last tagline pretty much sums up every relationship I have ever had.)

(A couple of big names get buried in the rush to capitalize on Wagner's pretty-boy looks: Joanne Woodward and Mary Astor! Joanne, of course, was at the beginning of her career, this film is only her second. Her third? She'd win an Oscar for Best Actress for The Three Faces of Eve. But Astor! Astor, a lifelong alcoholic, was a major star. Sadly, a highly-sensationalized affair with George S. Kaufman derailed her career. She was cast in the public role of a scarlet woman, but made the most of it! She was one of the first major screen stars to speak (and write) candidly about her life and trials. She ended her career in 1964, playing a supporting role in the Bette Davis vehicle, Hush, Hush Sweet Charlotte.)

"Some secrets can't be kept... they have to be buried!"

"I've suspected for days. Yesterday, I went to the doctor... and now I'm sure!"

(Chlamydia?)

"Girl by girl... caress by caress... he fell deeper in love - deeper in trouble - until he found this terrifying way out..."

(And speaking of chlamydia, cue up Madonna's Deeper and Deeper, please)

Kiss Me Deadly

"I, The Jury, The Long Wait and now Mickey Spillane strips down to naked fury!"

"I don't care what you do to me, Mike... just do it fast!"

(Fast is good. Sometimes I prefer it that way, too.)

"White-hot thrills! Blood-red kisses!"

"Mickey Spillane's latest H-Bomb!"

(H-Bomb? Hell, no. More like box office dynamite.)

(This, by the way, marked Cloris Leachman's film debut!)

A Walk With Love And Death

"John Huston creates a love story for today."

"Maybe they need to make war as much as we need to make love."

(That's the best line in the movie? The screenwriter should be ashamed!)

(Speaking of screen debuts; this is Anjelica Huston's. John, the director, is her father.)

Sudden Death

"The first woman vigilante."

"There is no place - no time when a woman alone can be safe!

(Based on the poster, Deadly Is The Female, indeed!)

(This stars Australian beauty queen Denise Coward, who is married to actor John James (Jeff Colby on the original Dynasty.) 

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That's all we have time for now.

Tune in next week!

Same time! Same channel!

Let's All Go To The Lobby - The Simpsons