Wonderland Burlesque's Let's All Go To The Movies: It'll Kill You Edition, Part II

Wonderland Burlesque's

Let's All Go To The Movies:

It'll Kill You Edition, Part II

Ah, to kill. I suspect, at one time or another, we've all wished someone dead. If only we had the means. If only we had the courage. If only we were clever enough to get away with it!

Well, Hollywood heard our terrible wishes and has been delivering ever since. 

Let's take a look at these classic tinsel town epics.

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Dressed To Kill

(This is a film noir classic from 1941.) 

Dressed To Kill

(This is a Sherlock Holmes film from 1946, with a poster that could pass as film noir. From the looks of it... don't mess with Patricia Morison!)

Born To Kill

"The coldest killer a woman ever loved."

(Claire Trevor is such a beauty.)

"Bullet-man and silken savage..."

(A 'bullet-man,' huh? Hey, handsome... take that cigarette outta your mouth. Personally? I'd love to see you shoot!) 

Paid To Kill

"Never a crime without passion to equal this."

"I'm the guy who paid to kill... myself!"

(I recently read a gay crime novel with this exact same theme: Murder Me, Please! - Jack Monterey, Book 2 by Ricky Wilks, available on Amazon in Kindle form.) 

"A hired gun double cross."

(Screw me once, shame on me... screw me twice and we're engaged to be married!)

Time To Kill

"He knew but one desperate code: vengeance and reprisal... with a fever of hatred uncontrolled!"

"John Ireland as the man who had... no..."

"The motive is murder and the destination unknown!

(Now I am going to have that damn Missing Person's song in my head the rest of the day.)

Urge To Kill

"Fear as only a murder victim knows it!"

"Not suitable for children" 

(Only when I think of a certain Russian leader or the orange ogre.)

Attempt To Kill

"The latest Edgar Wallace mystery thriller!"

"Hear Man Of Mystery - Top Ten tune recorded by The Shadows. Title music to the Edgar Wallace thrillers!"

(This song sounds exactly how I imagined it.)

Man Of Mystery - The Shadows

Permission To Kill

"This is Mr. Curtis. He has permission to bloody you, compromise you, blackmail you and if all else fails..."

(Ava Gardner and Dirk Bogarde (one of my favorite actors), plus a young Frederick Forest and a young Timothy Dalton!)

Three Hours To Kill

"The man with the rope scar on his neck!"

"She knew him better than her own husband."

(If he rubs a little Wisk on the inside of his shirt collar that stain will come right out!)

"She knew him better than her own husband and she knew she was going to kiss him..."

(And if it's Donna Reed doing the kissing, it'll be closed-mouthed, no tongue, and no eye contact! Like kissing a dead mackerel.)

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That's all we have time for now.

Tune in next week!

Same time! Same channel!

Intermission Time!