Wonderland Burlesque's Toot Sweet Quiz

Wonderland Burlesque's 

Toot Sweet Quiz

'Tis the season. The grocer's shelves are full of candy, all tricked out in fancy bags to entice those who celebrate Halloween. Given that, I thought this an excellent opportunity to examine our own sweet tooth - if, we indeed, have one. 

As a child? I gobbled everything offered and anything in sight. These days? I'm a lot more selective. I think that's a common state of affairs. Our tastes become more refined, especially when it comes to sugar. 

This quiz is a long one, but not very taxing, so, trust me... you'll sail right through it. I was going to spit it in two, but seeing as how most of the answers don't need much explanation, I decided to do it all in a single post. 

Share as much or as little as you wish. And keep your tooth brush handy! Trust me, by the end of this one, your teeth are going to ache for a good brushing!

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1/ Favorite candy bar?

None, now. When I was a kid, I adored Mounds and Almond Joy bars. I thought the coconut and almonds were 'healthy.' Yeah... stupid kid.

Now? The idea of eating a whole candy bar? Nauseating. 

2/ Least Favorite candy bar?

So, I had a love/hate relationship with my least favorite candy bars - because, as a child, there was no such thing as a 'bad' candy bar. All sugar was 'good.' 

There was something called a Zero bar and something called a Milkshake bar. I didn't like the wrapper on the ZERO bar, nor did I care much for the contents - though, of course, I ate them. From Wikipedia: "The ZERO candy bar, introduced in 1920, is a candy bar composed of a combination of caramel, peanut and almond nougat covered with a layer of white chocolate fudge. Its outwardly white color — an unusual color for a candy bar."

It was the white fudge. With a brown center? It was simply all kinds of wrong tied up in a garish wrapper.

The Milkshake bar? I loved because it tasted like nothing natural on this earth. They were perpetually stale and the malted flavoring they used was rather suspect. Still, the part of me that enjoyed eating things that do not taste or feel like food was in heaven. And these bars were sold on the cheap, making them even more attractive to a perpetually cash-starved kid, like myself.

3/ Favorite individually wrapped candy?

None that I can think of. I used to like fruity sour balls - the colors were so vibrant and I loved the feel of the round ball in my mouth, but the idea of sucking on one these days has no appeal. 

4/ Least favorite individually wrapped candy?

I remember those weird peanut-infused brown taffy things wrapped in orange or black waxy paper. Do they have a name? Not Mary Janes... People gave them out by the handful at Halloween because they were inexpensive. I hated them. They were always the last thing I would eat when eating my way through my annual Halloween candy haul. 

5/ When you (used to) go to the movies, do you buy candy? What kind?

Rarely. But if I did, I was in love with Raisinets, which claim to be chocolate-covered raisins, but whatever covers them is unlike anything in this world, let alone chocolate. Again, they appeal to that part of my brain that enjoys eating things that do not taste or feel like food. 

Seriously, I wouldn't be surprised if they dipped those things in latex paint. 

6/ If you had to give out candy at Halloween, what would you give?

Do packets of Splenda, Equal, and Sweet 'N Low stolen from a Perkins restaurant count as 'candy?'

Yes, I am the 'Scrooge' of Halloween.

7/ Favorite homemade candy? Have you ever made candy at home?

I've never attempted to make it. More power to those that do. It looks pretty, but nothing I care for.

As a kid, my grandmother made something called divinity. I have no idea what it was made of, but it was puffed up dollops of sugar, white or pink, sometimes featuring crushed up nuts, sometime bits of maraschino cherries and sometimes maple flavoring. They started off quite soft and eventually hardened into this weird porous cement. 

I ate it no matter what state it was in, as it was sugar and as a child, that is all that mattered. 

8/ Are you a sucker for suckers?

Not anymore. Loathe them. 

But, as a child, there was something called Charm Pops... big, thick iridescent oval slabs of hardened sugar on a stick. The thing with these suckers is, as one sucked on them, they would develop these razor sharp crevices which would proceed to cut the hell out of your tongue and the corners of your mouth. I bought them for years until I realized I didn't like paper-cut like wounds in my mouth. 

Well, I was never what one would call a quick learner.  

9/ Licorice? Black? Red? Twizzlers?

Never cared for black licorice, though I have come to love the scent and flavor of anis (insert double entrendre, here.) I loved red licorice as a child, but preferred it to be dried out and old as it was super difficult then to eat. 

Twizzlers are disgusting. It's the texture. All kinds of wrong. 

10/ Favorite fruit flavor?

Red.

11/ Favorite color M & M?

Red. 

Because I think it means they will taste like fruit.

12/ Favorite flavored Lifesaver?

I like the exotics. Pineapple or Pina Colada. Of the traditional ones? 

Red.

13/ Chocolate? Milk? Dark? White? Almond Bark?

Milk chocolate is not my thing at all.

Dark? YES. Love it. Just a tiny bit, though. A tiny square of dark chocolate is my favorite dessert. 

White? I don't even know what that is... but, no thank you. It's too disturbing to contemplate.

Almond bark? See: White Chocolate.

14/ Nuts to you? Favorite? In Chocolate? Chocolate and peanut butter?

Love nuts. And while I don't like milk chocolate, nuts will make it more tolerable. Dark chocolate and nuts? Heaven. I like almonds and walnuts and pecans. I don't much care for cashews - too rich. 

I don't care for anything Reese's makes. Peanut butter cups? No thank you!

15/ How do you feel about caramel?

Not a fan. With nuts and dark chocolate, okay. Otherwise? Pass.

I like it if it is buttery. 

16/ Marshmallow? Nougat?

No.

And no.

What is inside a Three Musketeers Bar? That stuff is awful.

17/ Life is like a box of? (Name your poison.) Sees? Whitman's? Frango? Lindt? Ghirardelli? Ferrero? Russell Stover's? Wyndham? Godiva? Merci? Other?

I love Russell Stover's and I know many people think it is terrible stuff. I just adore them, especially their dark chocolate and nuts box. 

Godiva used to be delicious. What happened?

No to all the others.

Lindt is worst. 

18/ Are you a fan of Gummy Bears, Jelly Beans, Orange Slices and the like?

No. Or not anymore. There was a time when I enjoyed the texture of orange slices, especially the red variety - but not anymore. Just seems like a lot of sugar for no reason.

19/ What candy bar or candy do your remember from your youth that you wish they would bring back?

Now, I don't like milk chocolate, however, I have a soft spot for Brach's Chocolate Stars (insert joke, here.) My grandmother used to put them in the center of her peanut butter cookies and, as kids, we would eat the stars and then put the cookie back (kids are gross.) No, I don't want to eat them, I just had no idea that they'd been discontinued and it's related to my grandma, so... feeling nostalgic!

The other thing I miss are Seven Up Bars - which have nothing to do with the soda, but refer instead to the seven different segments of the bar, each with its own character/flavor. It was an odd delight, like eating a box of chocolates in candy bar form. 

20/ Where is your favorite place to go to get yourself a little free eye candy?

The prairie, of course. But in the winter, I used to love to go to gay-friendly coffee shops. I would get on Grindr and talk flirty-dirty to the other patrons there. I always hoped one of them would invite me to the restroom for a little one-on-one, but nope. Not on my watch...

21/ Enquiring minds want to know... Are kisses sweeter than candy? Whose?

Yes, they are! I would much rather kiss than eat a piece of candy. As for whose...? Why, The Boyfriend's, of course. He is the sweetest man I've ever known... and I've known quite a few sweeties in my lifetime, so that's saying a lot. 

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And that's it for today's quiz. 

Leave your answers in the comments section!

Thank you for reading and participating.

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Sugar Town - Nancy Sinatra

 

Candy - Iggy Pop feat. Kate Pierson