Wonderland Burlesque's Let's All Go To The Movies: Hot Rods Edition

Wonderland Burlesque's 

Let's All Go To The Movies

Hot Rods Edition

It was a movement. A way of life. A niche audience that Hollywood wasted no time to exploit. 

Ah, the sensationalism was exceptional back in the day; people were so easily shocked, so quick to go up in arms, and everything ended in an exclamation point! What! Kids being kids? We need to put a stop to that right away. Why, they might develop ideas and new ways of doing things. And worse of all? They might be having *gasp* fun!

Here's a sneak peak at all the delectable finger-wagging fun to be had. 

Hot Rod

(I just can't imagine where they got the idea to name this whole movement... hot... rod. Such a puzzle. But something tells me a man is probably responsible.)

Hot-Rod Girl

"Chicken-race... rock 'n roll... youth on the loose!"

"Are these our children?"

"Teen age terrorists tearing up the streets!"

(Ma'am, if you cannot recognize your own child, then I do believe you have much bigger problems that a couple of souped-up roadsters and a young lady crushing on some hipster poser.) 

"Speed crazy thrills as wild youths tear up the streets!"

"Speed-crazy rock 'n roll rampage!"

See: To-days teen-agers! Rock 'n roll... rhythm & blues!"

See: Dare-devil youth in hot-rod cars!

See: The death-defying fury of a head-on 'chicken race'!"

(See someone about your overuse of hyphens and hyperbole!)

Hot Rod Rumble

(A rumble? Like West Side Story? So will there be choreography?)

"Drag strip shocks! Piston-hard drama! Rock 'n roll love!"

"Scorching story of the sick chicks who fire up the big wheels!"

(You had me at piston-hard!)

Hot Rod Hullabaloo

"Come to the..."

"Speed's their creed!"

"The hot rodders! The swingers!"

"The jet age crowd, they're with it!"

(Hot rodders swinging? Sounds like my cup of tea.)

Hot Rods To Hell

"They're young! They're hot! They're reckless!

(They're stuck in this terrible movie!)

"Hotter than Hell's Angels!"

(Blasphemy!)

 

The Hot Rod Gang

"Crazy kids... living to a wild rock 'n roll beat!"

"Gene Vincent sings!"

(Be careful. That girl looks like she could put an eye out with those things!)

Ghost Of Drag Strip Hollow

"The Hot Rod Gang meets the..."

(A sequel! Apparently Jody Fair was the only holdover.)

Hot Cars

"Hot! A stop at nothing blonde..."

"Hot! A Buick-hungry guy...."

"Hot! The underworld's dirtiest racket..."

"Slam the screen head-on!"

(Hmm. They sure phoned in the title on this one.)

Hot Car Girl

"She's hell on wheels... fired up for any thrill!"

"With the jazz score of Cal Tjader."

(I can't imagine the pitch for this film. "She's a girl who is hot for cars. She's Hot Car Girl.")

--- ---

That's all we have time for this week. 

Tune in next week!

Same time! Same channel!

Intermission