Wonderland Burlesque's Holiday Music Quiz

Wonderland Burlesque's 

Holiday Music Quiz

Love it? Hate it? I know, I know...

It's inescapable this time of year. So, let's talk about it. 

Yes... Christmas music. Holiday music. Classics. Modern takes. Complete misfires. 

That one album every artist does in order to remain on store shelves the rest of their lives. Those songs we hear year after year after year... 

Share your faves, raves and those that should be buried in graves. 

Let's dig in, shall we?

1/ Do you like holiday music? When do you start to play it? When do you listen to it? Radio? CD? In your car?

Holiday music has always been part of the season for me. 

I used to hate it. Now, I love it. I play it way too early. This year, LOVE105 started playing it non-stop the week before Thanksgiving and I just fell right in line. I'm always sad when they go back to regular programming the day after New Year's. I listen to the radio in the kitchen while cooking and cleaning. I even take it into the bathroom when I am getting cleaned up for the day. I do play it in my car - either the radio or a CD. Last year, Randy Rainbow's holiday album played non-stop for three weeks. So much fun.

2/ What are your favorite holiday songs and artists: pre-1970?

Andy Williams. He's so dreamy. 

I adore any version of Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas and adore Nat King Cole singing The Christmas Song (Chestnuts roasting...). 

I am intrigued by almost any holiday song. 

3/ What are your favorite holiday albums and artists: pre-1970?

Streisand's first holiday album is an all-time classic. Not a bad track and impeccably sung. All brassy and crazy and turtle dove coos. Butter melts.

I adore Vince Guaraldi Trio's soundtrack for A Charlie Brown Christmas. Bittersweet. Intimate. Joyous. Heartbreaking.

Oh, and there is one album I have to find. It has a song on it that goes... "Ho, ho, ho, it's Christmas. Happy, happy Christmas. Time to get the stockings hung. Time to trim the tree." It was on this album my Mom bought at Red Owl for like 79 cents. On Pickwick, I thought. Maybe. She threw it away eventually and I dug it out of the trash and would play it on this old 1950's style phonograph I had in the basement. I would also rescue decorations and decorate a room in the basement and pretend(?) I was poor - like Bob Cratchit in A Christmas Carol. 

Yeah... I played weird games. 

I was a weird kid. 

4/ What are your favorite holiday songs and artists: post-1970?

Honestly, it takes me a long time to warm up to new stuff. In the 80s, I turned my nose up to all that stuff. I remember hearing Paul McCartney's Wonderful Christmastime and thinking it was a piece of crap. Now? I kind of like it. It makes me smile. It's so cheesy. 

Wham and George Michael's Last Christmas? Cheesy. Too cheesy.

Mariah Carey. Hated it. And now? I like it a lot. It won me over just by being played to death.

But I remain pretty stubborn. Taylor Swift came out with that song last year about a Christmas tree farm (because, I guess, she grew up on one or something) and I was like... naw. 

There are exceptions.

Dolly Parton does a duet with Michael Bublé' (Cuddle Up and Cozy Down Christmas) and I quite love it. Makes me happy every time I hear it.

And surprise, surprise - I adore Katy Perry's Cozy Little Christmas. It is in my head all the time. It's so cute. 

Adore Joni Mitchell's River. 

Oh, and I have a thing for sad New Year songs. Love Dan Fogelberg's treacly Old Lang Syne. Love Barry Manilow's It's Just Another New Year's Eve. Sigh. Bittersweet. Just how I love my holidays.

5/ What are your favorite holiday albums and artists: post-1970?

I mentioned Randy Rainbow's. Though that is a passing fancy, I think.

Kristine W. had one. Hey, Mr. Christmas! - a passing fancy.

Honestly, whole modern holiday albums don't hold my interest. I think that's why I like listening to radio. Variety.

An exception: The Carpenter's first holiday album. It played non-stop at this Japanese restaurant I waited tables at in Honolulu. I could do without Richard's schmaltz and theatrics, but Karen's voice is amazing - sad and happy at the same time. Adore it. 

Again... bittersweet wins every time.

There is one album I have been avoiding... and I really must buy me a copy this year. It's been out for awhile and when I heard about it... I was like... NO. This will be the finest of them all. 

Annie Lennox.

I have hyped it in my mind. And am terrified of being disappointed. 

But then.. it's Annie Lennox. What could go wrong?

See... bittersweet. Wins it every time.

6/ What are your least favorite holiday songs and artists?

There are so many wrong-minded holiday songs. Here are a few examples:

Idina Menzel. She is a hit and miss vocalist on the best of days. Amazing instrument. Not a clue how to rein it in and focus it. She does on occasion - Let It Go works. So does her dance song Gorgeous. She has a holiday song out, Caroling, Caroling - it is insane. Over-sung. Piecing. So un-musical. No warmth. Wrong, wrong, wrong. I want to shake her. And I cringe every time I hear it.

Of course, Carol of the Bells is insanity. In hell they play that song non-stop. It's scary and not fun at all.

Faith Hill has Where are You Christmas? What? Such a strange song. Doesn't work. And she hasn't a clue of what to do with it. I feel for her. Stupid song.

And then we have Queen. Thank God It's Christmas. Really? Vocally bludgeoning Christmas to death is your idea of a good time? It's like listening to them kill baby seals.

The Christmas Shoes? File under Butterfly Kisses. Blech. No, thanks.

Incidently... Do They Know It's Christmas? The original 1984 version? Not one female soloist. They're only in the chorus. WTF? What a sexist piece of garbage Bob Geldorf! He fixed it in 1989, when they re-did it and Kylie Minogue sang the opening line. 

7/ Did you sing holiday songs in a choir? Church? School?

Yes. 

Youth Choir in Church. Loved it. We did Saturday Mass and Midnight Mass. Acoustic guitars. Fun.

Choir - all through high school. Hated it. Polyester shirts and pants. Ick. I always got into the spirit because it was a performance, but... what a long night. 

In college, I auditioned for and got in this swing choir. We did television shows at the local stations. Polyester shirts and pants. I had just started smoking and the choir director hated me. So, needless to say, that lasted a single year. It was painful. And I have no idea why I did it. 

I always did what was expected. 

When I re-joined the Catholic Church, back when my dad was failing and we bought the house across the street and rehabbed it so my parents would be closer... I joined the choir and became a cantor. I remember one Christmas I was cantor with the choir. We closed with Joy to the World. The priest had put everybody to bed by this point... zzzz. Needless to say... when I hit that opening note, square in the mic, with all the zeal of a released prisoner? I think I shocked the system. I got a standing ovation at the end. And applause? Not something you do in the church. The priest - a jealous, preening queen - hated me after that. He would take pot-shots at my singing and exclude me whenever he could. It hurt. And it worked. I tried for three years. And then quit. Disheartened.

Within a year, he was ousted from the priesthood. Part of the sex-scandal stuff. Had to do some jail time. Fat ass.

I had quit right before it happened. And my mother questioned me all the time as to why I didn't want to sing anymore. After he was ousted? She stopped asking.

Oh, and if you think the priests are bad... you should get a load of the Franciscan monks!

8/ Have you ever gone caroling?

As a teen, we went every season, with another family. Just us kids. There were four of us (my oldest brother was too cool), and seven of them. We all sang together in the youth choir at church and played softball in their backyard in summer (plastic bat and ball). We went to old folks homes and house to house. It was fun. And then had hot chocolate and cookies at our house. It was fun. The key was to sing really, really loud. 

You stayed warm that way. 

I vaguely remember going with my theatre troupe one year - here, in Minneapolis. It was an excuse to drink.

And I took full advantage of it. 

I am sure I sang loudly then, too. 

9/ Have you ever been in a holiday-themed show? (Nativity scenes count!)

I was Stubtoe the Elf at a mall for two years. Television commercials, pancake breakfasts... the works. I had a show I did every hour with a little song and story. The rest of the time was spent in this little house with a bunch of mechanical elves. I was there a whole month before Santa arrived. 

Ah, show biz

In high school, I was in Anita Kerr's Christmas show... The Littlest Angel. I had a solo... It's Christmas Time - a lovely ballad. One of the few I ever got to sing on stage. 

Oh, and I was in one of those Catholic birth of Jeezus things... as a child. I barely remember it. It was so... forgettable. Except... those are fun to watch. The kids. It's very much a tradition... like corralling cats. Fun to watch.

10/ What are your favorite holiday music videos?

Adore Katy Perry's Cozy Little Christmas. It's bright and big and colorful. It's a little wrong. I mean, sexualizing Santa is always a little wrong. But she doesn't push the envelope too far. 

Disappointed in the one for Dolly and Bublé's. It's animated. And it's fine, except for what they do to Dolly. They give her gigantic thighs. It's like they've never seen a picture of her. So, it's not pretty and cute, but clumsy and a bit monstrous.

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That's all for this week.

You know the drill - leave your answers in the comments section or copy the questions, post on your blog and leave a link here. 

Thanks for reading.

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Cozy Little Christmas - Katy Perry

Cuddle Up, Cozy Down Christmas

Dolly Parton & Michael Bublé'